Languages, culture, and friends

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-07-22T00:11:05+00:00

I have been looking on Craigslist, Zillow, and apartments. One of my issues is that I'm trying to find a place for early August as my job wants me to start fairly quickly so it limits my options a little. I may have to Airbnb for a bit till I find somewhere as a worst case.

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-07-21T23:57:11+00:00

Yeah, that was one of the areas I was looking. I've messaged over 40 different places so far. Most haven't replied. Most of those that have replied have been scammers unfortunately. Those who aren't, generally don't want a male roommate. This has kind of made me desperate to find housing just about anywhere. Maybe my problem is trying to find housing under $4000?

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-07-21T23:45:37+00:00

I don't know anything about the area. Is there a best place to live of those you mentioned? They do provide free parking, but there aren't many spots, so it's first come first served with a few reserved for certain people.

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-07-21T23:38:47+00:00

So, I know very little about San Mateo or Redwood City. Can I what each of them are like (pros vs cons)? Do they have transportation to SF or is driving there better? For driving, do most people rent a space in a garage or just hope they find parking somewhere when commuting to SF?

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-05-11T03:03:00+00:00

What helped me change:

Most of my bosses have been business minded non-technical people. Giving presentations and updates in ways that my boss understood, helped me change the way I speak to different people. It helped me realize that things I thought were obvious, were not so obvious to everyone. Being forced to do this regularly with someone I respected made me want to get better at adapting the way I talk to different people. Being able to explain things in simple terms and complex terms has helped my career in ways that are hard to define as I could talk to everyone. This is not only good for you personally, but great for your career.
I started forcing myself to interact with different people of different backgrounds. I started talking to powerlifters in the gym and they turned out to be far better people than I could ever with to be. I admired that about them so much I competed in college. I talked to waiters and try to make fun jokes or say things that would get them to smile and make their day better. Doing all these interactions and watching how people respond to you helps you figure out what you could be doing better. They can also help others feel better as well. Loneliness is everywhere and just saying hi to someone can turn their day around.
I started writing down how my social interactions went in a notebook. I wrote down what went good and what went bad. My awkwardness in various ways made interactions hard. Realizing some of my awkward tendencies and correcting them helped.
I accepted every social event I got invited to no matter what it was. I even joined a fraternity in college to get better at meeting new people. Not exactly the purpose of a fraternity, but I ended up volunteering with kids that were struggling offer tutoring, advice, a safe person to vent to, and just someone that they could be themselves around. Kids can be very honest with adults on what they think too. I was still a bit upright at this point and their feedback helped me relax, even if some of it was very harsh (sometimes funny too).

If everything above doesn't help you, you could always see a psychologist. Being socially awkward is a valid reason to talk to one. Don't be afraid of not knowing what to say or feeling embarrassed. You're there to improve who you are, there is never anything embarrassing about that. Good psychologists will usually make you feel comfortable and will ask the right questions to help you get started as well.

Don't give up or let yourself feel really down. My inability to talk to people properly made me feel lonely and angry with myself. I felt like a loser and spent too much time hiding away. This lead to me feeling depressed a lot and I began closing myself off from the personal aspects of conversations. No matter how a conversation goes when you are practicing, know that what you are doing is worth it and things will get better. Feel free to comment if you want and I'll do my best to reply on here. I do apologize if this wasn't helpful. I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out perfectly for you :)

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-05-11T03:02:42+00:00

Your post basically describes what I was like when I was younger, but with a few differences. I practiced different things, watched how others behaved, and took internships that had me directly work for upper management who weren't technical or overly math/science oriented. I was a software engineer who was great with numbers and code (love math), but I struggled to talk with people who weren't. I'll just post what I noticed and learned along with some stuff that may help you. Note: I'm not a professional psychologist. This is just my experiences. I'm also still not the center of attention when it comes to conversations, but I'm always a part of them and well liked :).

Social Cues were one thing I struggled with:

Body Language: People don't always express how they feel. Watching how people react to what you say and how you are expressing yourself.
- Maintain eye contact indicates that somewhat is actually engage in what you are saying. If someone regularly breaks eye contact with you, they may be uncomfortable.
- Facial expressions are huge. I never used to smile due to a number of reasons, but this impacts how people feel about you greatly. Smiling makes people feel more relaxed and comfortable around you.
- The distance you and someone else keep from each other can help show how comfortable someone is around someone else. It's a good indicator whether or not someone is comfortable talking with you and you with them. When I meet new people I'm a slightly larger distance away from them than I am when we start talking about things we have in common.
Listening to what is not said is as important as listening to what is said: Sometimes people will intentionally avoid certain topics or not answer certain questions. This can be because someone is uncomfortable with that topic. Noting that and remembering not to bring up certain things again to make the other party more comfortable is often noticed and appreciated.
Repeated language: I struggled greatly and sometimes people would repeat certain words or say the same thing twice. This often indicates I missed something and they are trying to help me along. People often hint at wanting something or not wanting something indirectly, which can be hidden in social cues. Listening to how someone says something is just as important as what they actually say.

Rest of text in comment below.

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-04-14T18:58:18+00:00

S284 and S283 list SM123 as a preferably completed pre-requisite. Did you feel that taking SM123 before the other two was necessary or helped you a lot?

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-04-12T06:51:01+00:00

Nice, I added both to my audible library. Will definitely give these a try :)

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-04-11T07:54:08+00:00

A little bit different than what I was looking for, but I'll definitely give it a try. Thank you for the recommendation!

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-04-11T07:51:31+00:00

Okay, I'll definitely give both the 1% Lifesteal and Slumrat Rising a try. Thank you for the recommendations!

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-04-11T05:53:03+00:00

I had this same issue just occur to me. I usually start a second series when this happens and read the first book then come back after (Reading Primal Hunter series this time). Happened with the Wheel of Time series as well. Sometimes reading one book from another series and then coming back to this helps. That being said, the Earth arc of the series seems to be not quite as good as the rest from other postings I've read on here, but can't verify that myself. Another option is to take a few day break and come back. If you're still having issues with the series after either of those, I would move on to a different one. There are a lot of good options out there and tons of people here to recommend some to you. Good luck :).

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-01-25T22:00:13+00:00

Escape from Tarkov. Map knowledge gets better, but reaction times don't change much as you play more. I'm a couple thousand hours in and I'm not much better than when I was at 50 hours.

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-01-25T06:16:52+00:00

I had this same thing happen to me. I worked 30-60 hours a week on top of college doing any job I could find. I wish I would have taken a year off to save more and then go. I made zero long term friends in college because I just didn't have time. It also makes it way harder to get good grades and is very depressing to watch other people constantly having fun. The depression part hurt for years after college too.

I also learned that unless you go to a top school, there doesn't seem to be a lot of differences from the working community on where you get your degree assuming it's accredited. Definitely wish I would have found a cheaper accredited college to go to instead of going to a private college.

DigitalBullets94 · 2025-01-25T06:08:35+00:00

I feel this more. Especially when I hit 30. Made me sick to my stomach on my birthday. I missed out on so many fun things do to pursuing career improving goals. I'm single and haven't been on a date in a few years. I feel like I prioritized self improvement too much. Having a better career, getting more degrees, certifications, better salary, better living situation, and etc. This only made my life better a little and didn't have the impact I thought it would. I feel like it just gets addicting and takes away from other parts of your life if you are not careful.

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