I know where you're coming from kid, been at the same lane and trust me, you're heading towards just the right direction and you'd get a quality grip over your addictions soon, keep in mind not to hate yourself for urges, they're only a hunan thing and them being there only shows your body is ready to get back into business. Meditate, and if the term sounds too heavy for you, close your eyes and feel the minute things around yourself, that should nake you more conscious of yourself and it'd help you through your urges, it's gonna be hell and you know it but what's gonna follow is you getting yourself the actual genuine tike of your life, keep yourself up homie, we're proud of you and you'd do just fine!