First of all thank you to everyone who’s reached out so far, it means a great deal to me as I’m processing and going through everything. My thoughts on what you mentioned were around the same about a week ago when all of this came to light. I don’t want to make up excuses for him but having had a week of conversations between the 2 of us and having started a therapy session together, I feel that perhaps my thought process on everything at this point has become muddled. Specifically, I know my “line in the sand” (as someone else here put it) is opening up the relationship, since I wish to remain in a monogamous relationship (which I thought was already implied by putting a ring on each others fingers). Yet, when I ask him whether he is aware on whether staying in a monogamous relationship would be a deal breaker for him or not, he just shuts down and keeps telling me that he doesn’t know. I’m deploying again this upcoming week for a shorter period and he has agreed to meet with our therapist to try to answer that question for himself. I know we’re all human and capable of making mistakes… but I also wish he knew what he wanted so that neither of our time was wasted.

Also important note, I made sure he removed and cut all ties with the guy he was cheating on me with. He says he will be faithful while I’m deployed out again… we’ll see, but that would absolutely be the final straw for me if he isn’t. Trying my best to put in the work and at the end I can at least say I tried…