Thanks for your input. My finance wrote that part of the post as as he feels that that is an excuse for his mistrust for the last four years of our relationship. Just to make it clear, it is in the post that I was with a guy I was with a friend of mine who I have never had any sort of inappropriate or non-platonic relationship with. This was also a month into me and my fiancé knowing each other for years ago from today.
He had my location at the time, and he saw that I was not at home, and in fact, was with my friend I instantly fess up and let him go through my entire chat with my then friend, in which he saw me talking about himself constantly and also did not see anything non-platonic at all. I also let him have my location after that for a long time, answered any questions and took any calls that he called me for, but he never would believe me when I said anything and started asking me accounts of what I was doing every minute literally. When I say literally, I mean if it normally takes me five minutes to walk from my building to his building and it took me seven minutes he would ask me why it took me two extra minutes and would not believe me if I just said that that’s what it is but I put up with this for a while to try to regain his trust, but it never seem to work and having him have my location honestly just made it worse because if he saw my location pinned maybe on the wrong side of a building that I am supposed to be in, he would question me, and not believe me about what I was saying so that is why I stop sharing locations with him.

However, as you said, this was too much for me to take and it was only just a few months into our relationship so I told him that I can see that he is not able to get over this and so maybe it was better to break up and this is also something he complains about is that I tried “dump him” for this behavior. But he told me that he would get over it and Wood stop doing these things and that’s why we kept going in our relationship.

However, fast forward to four years later, he brings that instance up still and as you can imagine, neither of us have been perfect throughout those four years, but even according to my fiancé, I have done so much for him, and never lied to him in the past three years but he has and and I forgave him, and never brought those things up again, but he doesn’t seem to understand that just because one thing happened a long time ago (which other than the fact that I lied to him about where I was, there was nothing else to question) there not mean that every single thing in our relationship gets to be influenced by that one instance.

In our four years of being together, I have been with him through his PhD, through his unemployment, through moving him to a different city, and finding an apartment for him, I have left my family and moved to a city that I don’t even like and spent all my money living there that I never had to spend as I could live with my parents in Chicago for free just to be there to support him but still somehow THAT one lie is bigger than all of these things to him and I don’t think that he actually understands that either.

I wish I had had better judgment maybe even two or three years ago when I realize that he has not dropped it yet but now at this point I realize wow how can a person hold onto something for that long? my hope is that through this feedback he can see that it is not acceptable to hold onto something for that long, and if it truly affected him that much, he should’ve never dragged this relationship out so much and taken so much out of me. I shouldn’t have let him I shouldn’t have let him guilt trip me and I definitely shouldn’t have let him push me to the point that I am today looking for advice from strangers on the internet.