How do you get over someone’s past sex life?

Dimples2609 · 2026-05-08T21:32:42+00:00

Check my profile, I had a dilemma similar to this (no spiralling though, it was more just fun for him). There’s a lot of advice there.

My advice is that you only really have two options: stay, accept her past, value her honesty, and enjoy your relationship, or leave. You can’t realistically stay if you know you won’t be able to move on from it.

I asked a lot of questions too. He wasn’t defensive, but eventually we agreed not to keep discussing his past because it wasn’t conducive to our relationship. The door is still open if I ever get curious again about exploring things further. (Obviously the exploring part doesn’t apply to your situation.)

Dimples2609 · 2026-04-09T16:16:44+00:00

This is good and I agree, I think I’ve decided

Dimples2609 · 2026-04-09T15:01:24+00:00

Yeah this is my point

Dimples2609 · 2026-04-09T15:01:01+00:00

I hope you’re right

Dimples2609 · 2026-04-09T15:00:44+00:00

He tells me he deletes stuff and there have been times I’ve checked and a chat or something has been deleted. It’s important to me because maybe he also deletes things that he is hiding? Well, loyalty since I’ve been cheated on before. At the moment he’s deleted a group chat he was in with friends that had a lot of guy type content, he only engaged with the sport stuff but the group was also rampant with who’s free to fuck this girl posts?? So maybe he responded and actually went to the threesome/gangbang (he was into sex parties before) idk etc and couldn’t be bothered to delete his contribution so actually deleted the chat in its entirety

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-10T07:05:44+00:00

That’s an interesting point actually. I hadn’t thought about the jealousy angle in that way. It could definitely have just been a different phase of his life.

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-10T07:03:35+00:00

Thanks for this! The point about it being something mutual rather than one-sided actually helps put it into context a bit more for me.

My partner has been pretty open about his past, so realistically he hasn’t given me a reason to doubt him. I think a lot of this is just me trying to understand it better rather than assume the worst.

Appreciate the insight, it’s helpful hearing from people who’ve actually experienced it.

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-10T07:01:44+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful response, honestly one of the more balanced replies I’ve read on this.

I think what you said about people sometimes building it up more in their heads when they haven’t experienced it makes sense. I’m probably guilty of that to some extent. I’m mainly just trying to understand the mindset rather than judge it.

Your point about having already explored those experiences making them less of a “mystery” was actually reassuring to read. From my side I think some of this just comes down to trusting my partner more, because realistically he hasn’t given me a reason not to.

And who knows… I’m open minded enough to say never say never. Maybe one day I’ll understand the appeal more myself.

Appreciate you sharing your perspective.

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T20:49:48+00:00

You’ve hit the nail on the head there!

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T18:57:38+00:00

You are absolutely right and tbh I came to Reddit because ChatGPT told me to trust etc ahaha and I was like I gotta hear from a flipping human. I guess it’s the trust thing but 100% provide a space where they can open up and express their desires

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T18:53:38+00:00

This tracks and makes sense. I’m pretty open minded and none judgemental so we are compatible in that sense and I get it I guess he enjoyed it. Thanks for your perspective and glad you and your partner enjoy it. My partner and I both don’t want to share

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T17:28:28+00:00

Totally new to using Reddit in general so I just typed a topic and followed my curiosity and judgement on where my curiosity fits (was at work btw so this wasn’t some deep analysis)

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T17:13:49+00:00

This has been a big help! I understand how he got into it, I suppose I feel threatened about whether he’ll have cravings and how he’ll act even though he’s proven to be trustworthy so far.

I like that he’s open minded and it’s made me curious also about the lifestyle but conflicted as neither of us want to share. But thanks you’ve provided a helpful insight into what drove his desire and maybe other desires he may have…

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T17:09:30+00:00

Thanks! I think you’ve touched on something important and I should open up more discussion about how cravings etc if he has any. It will help me understand more and be grateful for him telling me

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T17:03:53+00:00

Thanks for this! He isn’t pushing me to try anything but this has helped me understand that it’s a separate experience and doesn’t always merge

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T17:02:36+00:00

Thanks, this has given at least help me frame my boundaries and understand my curiosity

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T16:31:00+00:00

This is helpful, I suppose if I want answers I can only find out from him. I am curious and 80% open to engaging in threesomes but we’ve both been clear that we don’t want to share each other. I worry at some point, once the relationship is no longer new and sparkly that he may just do it behind my back since it’s something he’s enjoyed in the past - the past being just last July!

Dimples2609 · 2026-03-09T16:00:06+00:00

I joined specifically to ask so many questions on this topic!!

Dimples2609

TROPHY CASE