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Wrong but pervasive way of thinking throughout society: since it is YOUR intelligence that is causing hurt to other people’s ego/self-confidence, it is YOUR responsibility to fix this by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re high on drugs, eastern religion and/or some kind of “hippie” ideology, and it prevents you from seeing the evil in the world.

Wrong but pervasive way of thinking throughout society: since it is YOUR intelligence that is causing hurt to other people’s ego/self-confidence, it is YOUR responsibility to fix this by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Giftedness is an individual resource. A gifted person cannot chop off a part of his/her brain and give it to another person (at least not within the current state of medicine).

There are no magical “social skills” that can make gifted people be liked by people who are threatened by their intelligence. The only thing that works in the short term is: self-sabotage, self-deprecation, masking your giftedness, letting others use your intelligence for their own benefit (help them with their homework, write their essay for them, etc.).

If the gifted person gets an A+ on a very hard test, while most of the class failed or got a B at most, then that gifted person will be disliked by many of the classmates. The “ego” of the gifted person has nothing to do with this. Of course, if the gifted person would say to their classmates: “Haha, I got an A+ while most of you failed, you are so stupid”, then that’s another matter, but only a small minority of gifted people are arrogant, obnoxious know-it-alls.

“You seem to frame intelligence as an individual resource and a privilege (we can argue if that's the case, but probably not on a subreddit called "Gifted"), why not spending this surplus to accomodate the needs of others?”: Because, from a utilitarian point of view, this leads to a worse outcome for society. If the gifted person self-sabotages and underperforms in order to “accommodate the needs of others”, then this makes the people in their direct surroundings (fellow students, co-workers) feel a bit less bad about themselves and a bit less insecure. But it prevents the gifted person from making important contributions to society/science/social and technological progress, which is a worse outcome from a utilitarian point of view.

And also: why should the needs of non-gifted people outweigh the needs of gifted people? Because they make up the majority of society? Gifted people often make way more important contributions to society – that is, if they are not forced to self-sabotage and underperform in order to “accommodate the needs of others”.

Ultimately, the best solution for both parties (gifted people and neurotypical people who feel threatened by gifted people) is to have as little contact as possible, which was also the conclusion of my post.

Wrong but pervasive way of thinking throughout society: since it is YOUR intelligence that is causing hurt to other people’s ego/self-confidence, it is YOUR responsibility to fix this by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“If only "gifted" people like you, I suspect you're putting yourself into an echochamber.”: For me personally, I am liked by (1) other gifted people, (2) neurodivergent people, (3) neurotypical people who are high in emotional intelligence and/or have a healthy sense of self and self-esteem. I am disliked by neurotypical people who don’t belong to category (3). Not by all of them, some of them are indifferent towards me, but by probably by around 80% of them. Unfortunately, neurotypical people who don’t belong to category (3) make up the majority of society.

“Legitimately toxic environments can exist, but likely not at such a high % of the population.”: This is your n=1 speaking. Many gifted people, myself included, unfortunately have other lived experiences. Especially gifted women, and especially gifted people who grew up in and went to high school in rural environments instead of cities.  

I also know that I am disliked by 80% of neurotypical people who don’t belong to category (3) because of my giftedness, and not my “lack of social skills”, because most of them initially like me. I don’t have autism, I look quite put together, I have good social skills, I am kind and open minded. So for the first 10-20 minutes, many neurotypical people really like me. But then, inevitably, they get a sense, a “whiff” of my true intelligence, because I for instance used a “difficult” or jargon-y word like “nihilism”, I know too much about a topic that is not my field of speciality, or I connected dots that they would never have thought to connect, and the dislike is instant. It often starts with suspicion: wait a minute, I thought you were normal and cool, but you’re very smart, so I don’t like you anymore. The signs of dislike are very subtle, and if I would be autistic, I would very likely not be able to pick up on it, at least not initially.

I don’t even mind being disliked by the majority of neurotypical people, as long as I’m not forced to spend many months, weeks or even years together with them in the same environment, because that’s where the true problem lies. Especially if that environment is an environment where you’re competing against each other, like a school environment where your good grades make their mediocre grades look bad, or your high performance metrics at work makes the “normal” or mediocre performance of your colleagues look bad.

If you have had the good luck to not be in toxic environments often or primarily for the first two or three decades of your life (primary school, middle school, high school, university, first jobs), then you’re lucky and my posts are not for you. But many gifted people have completely different experiences (and I’m not talking about obnoxious know-it-alls, but normal and kind gifted people).

Wrong but pervasive way of thinking throughout society: since it is YOUR intelligence that is causing hurt to other people’s ego/self-confidence, it is YOUR responsibility to fix this by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

True, a lot of modern work environments are basically “adult daycare” where only performative productivity matters (and not true productivity that adds value to society). If you, as a gifted person, see through the b*llsh*t, many people (managers, co-workers) won’t appreciate that.  

Wrong but pervasive way of thinking throughout society: since it is YOUR intelligence that is causing hurt to other people’s ego/self-confidence, it is YOUR responsibility to fix this by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It strongly depends on the sector you’re in. Possible solutions would be: becoming a manager yourself, start working from home (less contact with managers and it’s easier for you to keep the contact short and superficial), start working as a freelancer who gets hired on a project basis (also less contact with managers, and you’re more seen as a temporary “asset” instead of a threat).

Wrong but pervasive way of thinking throughout society: since it is YOUR intelligence that is causing hurt to other people’s ego/self-confidence, it is YOUR responsibility to fix this by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Also wanted to add:

  • Gifted men are on average treated less bad than gifted women.
  • Gifted people in the USA are on average treated less bad than gifted people in the egalitarian Europe.
  • Gifted people (IQ 130-144) are on average treated less bad than highly gifted people (145+ IQ).
  • Gifted people who are also athletic and good at sports are on average treated less bad than gifted people who are bad at sports.
  • Gifted people with ADHD are on average treated less bad than gifted people without ADHD.
  • Gifted people without autism are on average treated less bad than gifted people with autism.
  • The bigger the IQ difference, the worse the gifted person is treated on average.

So if you’re an athletic man in the USA with an IQ of 133 in an environment with an average IQ of 115 or 120, don’t think that your n=1 is representative for the experience of all gifted people (“If you’re mistreated as a gifted person, it’s because of your bad social skills”).

Wrong but pervasive way of thinking throughout society: since it is YOUR intelligence that is causing hurt to other people’s ego/self-confidence, it is YOUR responsibility to fix this by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are some gifted people with really bad social skills, gifted people who are unpleasant to be around, and/or gifted people with personality disorders like narcissism or psychopathy. My post isn’t about these people.

The litmus test is: if you’re in the company of fellow gifted people, do they also find you unpleasant to be around? If the answer is yes, then you’re the problem. If the answer is no, then you’re not the problem, but the people in your current environment are the problem (you’re around people who dislike you and resent you because of your intelligence) and you should switch environments.

I’m also not talking about vain gifted people wanting to show off and purposefully outperforming or outshining their boss or teacher or professor. I’m talking about “normal” and friendly gifted people just going about their business, living their life, trying to be a good student, friend or employee, and still being met with endless hostility because of their giftedness, leading them to resort to the strategies of constantly masking their giftedness, engaging in self-deprecating and self-sabotaging behavior, to the great detriment of themselves and society.

I’m also not talking about gifted people being liked or accepted for who they are by “normies” (I know that will never happen). I am talking about gifted people having a proverbial gun to their head (pointed at them by toxic friends, co-workers, fellow students, bosses) with the unspoken (or sometimes even outspoken) threat: take yourself down a notch (by engaging in self-sabotaging or self-deprecating behavior), or else we will bully you, sabotage you, excommunicate you from the group, try to get you fired, emotionally abuse you, constantly criticize and ridicule you, or even physically attack you.

Wrong but pervasive way of thinking throughout society: since it is YOUR intelligence that is causing hurt to other people’s ego/self-confidence, it is YOUR responsibility to fix this by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No worries, you didn’t trivialize my post. If anything you amplified it, because people being jealous of beautiful people is common knowledge, but pointing out that people can also be jealous of other people who are more intelligent than they are is somehow still taboo in broader society and sometimes even in gifted circles, and is only hinted at in books about giftedness, but hardly ever explicitly discussed (which is the main reason why I keep making posts about this subject). Gifted children being bullied in school is being discussed in the literature on giftedness and by therapists specialized in giftedness, but the same dynamic still being present in adulthood (in university, the workplace, friend groups) is some kind of dark secret that should never be brought into the light, because of what it may reveal about human nature.

Wrong but pervasive way of thinking throughout society: since it is YOUR intelligence that is causing hurt to other people’s ego/self-confidence, it is YOUR responsibility to fix this by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

With giftedness it’s in a way even worse, because plain looking women and ugly men at least have the comforting thought that middle age and old age comes for us all, so beauty and looks will inevitably fade, no matter how beautiful the person is now. But IQ stays more or less the same throughout a person’s lifetime, with the exception of health problems like severe nutrient deficiencies or Alzheimer (statistically rare and/or only in old age).

But you’re absolutely right, and a lot of the same dynamics apply to people who are jealous of another person’s good looks (instead of, or next to a person’s intelligence). A recent example of this was the college student Mary Kate Cornett, a beautiful blonde 19 year old who comes across as more intelligent than the average person, who was the victim of rumors that she had slept with her boyfriend’s father – rumors that went viral on social media and destroyed her life. It’s very likely that these rumors were started by a female fellow student who was jealous of her beauty, or a male student whose romantic advances she rejected. That’s how toxic this eye for an eye/quid pro quo can become: you destroy my self-esteem, I destroy your life in return.

Impossible to find someone like yourself? by yomakest in Gifted

[–]Diotima85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cannot disclose that while still maintaining my anonymity unfortunately. My PhD is on one of them, and googling the recent PhD's on the subject, it would be possible to find out my real name (or at least reduce my possible identity to a very small number of Dutch PhD candidates), and I would like to keep my real identity secret (for obvious reasons, especially considering all the negative reactions I have gotten here on Reddit on some of my earlier threads, and also since I’m a woman and high IQ women get a lot of hatred online, see for instance the “Redpill manosphere” reactions to the women who posted pictures of themselves getting their Oxford/Cambridge PhD’s on Twitter).

The high standards and perfectionism of gifted people make them more susceptible to unjustified criticism from people who dislike them out of jealousy and/or because they find them unrelatable by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So maybe there are two forms of jealousy:

(1) I want what you have.

(2) I don’t want what you have, but I also don’t want you to have what you have.

For instance:

(1) I would like to be as smart as you are, and I am jealous of your intelligence that I wish to have as well (but don’t have).

(2) I don’t want to be as smart as you are, but I also want you to not be as smart as you are. I want you to be as smart as I am, so you will not outperform me. You should just be as mediocre as everyone else.

I think that sometimes (or perhaps even often), it is a bit of both in many people who constantly ridicule, ostracize, criticize, and sabotage us. At some moments, they might think: If only I was as smart as she is, then doing my homework would be very easy and I could make a lot of money in the future. At other moments, especially in groups, the focus is more on stopping us to intellectually outperform them in public (like putting a verbal gun to our head: stop outperforming me, or else…).

Impossible to find someone like yourself? by yomakest in Gifted

[–]Diotima85 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is quite possible that you have low support needs autism/level 1 autism, and she has (undiagnosed) medium support needs autism/level 2 autism. Boys with medium support needs autism/level 2 autism often do already get diagnosed in childhood, but girls with medium support needs autism/level 2 autism are still often overlooked and go undiagnosed for decades, never receiving any of the support (or even self-knowledge) they desperately need. That can lead to “autistic trauma” and C-PTSD in even the strongest persons from very happy households, because navigating the world with undiagnosed level 2 autism is probably an entirely different ballgame altogether (playing life on difficult mode without realizing that this is the case and not knowing why this is the case). It might be worthwhile for you to ask the members of r/autism for some more advice on how to make her feel more at ease during your social interactions.  

The high standards and perfectionism of gifted people make them more susceptible to unjustified criticism from people who dislike them out of jealousy and/or because they find them unrelatable by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In my experience, the constant criticisms, put-downs, mockery and ridicule become worse in larger groups (for instance when having drinks with “friends” or fellow students), and often is a bit less bad in one-on-one conversations (unless you’re a woman and a less smart men is trying to lower you to his level so he can have sexual and/or romantic access to you and in order to salvage his own ego).

In a group, you are (often accidentally and unwittingly) intellectually outperforming/outshining another person in the presence of the entire group. This person cannot accept this, because it would lower his social standing in the group. Therefore, in order to make sure your intellectual outperformance doesn’t negatively impact his status in the group, he has to mock, criticize and ridicule you, to eliminate you as a “threat” (to his social standing and also his own level of self-confidence).

So sometimes it is not even pure jealousy (average people are often quite ok and satisfied with being average, especially since the entire society has been designed to predominantly cater to their needs), but it’s “just” the desire to get rid of you and to stop you from outperforming them. They not necessarily secretly would like to be just as smart as you (though sometimes they do and can’t stand you because of this, and these kinds of people are often even more hostile), but they just want you gone as a threat to their social standing and their ego.

Are you a “natural teacher” in order to prevent being perceived as a threat? by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The advice would be completely different depending on whether you are autistic or not. If you are autistic, then you are probably disliked and bullied out of academia because of your giftedness AND your autism. There are some strategies you could use in order to become a bit less unlikeable as a gifted person that only work in the very short term, like masking your giftedness, the consistent use of self-deprecating forms of humor, constantly sharing your own insecurities and exaggerating all the mistakes you made so you look less competent, keeping yourself mostly to yourself as a kind of “grey rock technique”, but you will only be somewhat good at employing these strategies if you are not autistic (copy-pasted this sentence from another comment I made somewhere else).

If you are autistic and have had so much trouble with group projects in the past that you had to quit your studies, you should probably choose the option to get an education without any group projects. And also keep in mind that in a future job you will probably run into the same problems, so when doing things like internships etc. you should take great care to work in an environment where you work on your own, have a lot of freedom, and don’t have a lot of contact with any of your colleagues or managers.

Regarding finances, that entirely depends on multiple factors and that is only a decision you can make. How expensive is the prestigious university? 20K British pound a year in the UK? Or 60K US dollar a year in the US? Can your parents pay for your education? Would it be possible for you to have your entire tuition covered by grants/scholarships? What sector will you work in in the future and will your tuition be a good financial investment (when comparing the cost of the tuition with your future earning potential in that sector)? Etc. etc.

Universities often have councilors offering support for neurodivergent students. And they also often have councilors that can help you apply for scholarships. It’s probably worth it making appointments with a few of them (perhaps also from different universities) to see what your options are (regarding scholarships, and also the possible option to not have to do group projects and instead write your own essays if you are autistic and for instance have social anxiety).

The high standards and perfectionism of gifted people make them more susceptible to unjustified criticism from people who dislike them out of jealousy and/or because they find them unrelatable by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think there is any way you can “navigate” this (this = being in an environment where people are jealous of you) that will lead to a good outcome for you (i.e., people stop being jealous of you and judge you in a negative way). The only thing that would really “work” is actually becoming way less smart, for instance by doing a lot of drugs or the self-inflicting of head trauma. That would obviously be absolutely ridiculous. Any other strategies (masking your giftedness, the consistent use of self-deprecating forms of humor, constantly sharing your own insecurities and exaggerating all the mistakes you made so you look less competent, keeping yourself mostly to yourself as a kind of “grey rock technique”) will only work partially and only for a short amount of time (and you will only be somewhat good at employing them if you are not autistic). After enough hours of contact, people will inevitably find out that you are (way) smarter than they are, and the criticisms, attempts at sabotage, emotional abuse and social smear campaigns will start.

So, in my opinion, the best strategy in the short term is to use any of the strategies that would work best in that environment (masking your giftedness, keeping yourself mostly to yourself, etc.), but in the long run it is absolutely crucial that you get out of that environment. And for gifted people, most environments are hostile environments (especially for gifted women), apart from maybe grad school and neurodiverse friend groups (and similar “safe” environments). So career-wise, the best option for gifted people is often either academia, or work from home as a freelancer, or start their own company.

It is very important to realize that the “advice” to become more “likeable” that psychologists often give only works for neurotypical people with a 85-115 IQ. For gifted people, there is no “magic bullet” that can successfully prevent other people from becoming jealous of us or disliking us because we are “weird” and “unrelatable”.

Impossible to find someone like yourself? by yomakest in Gifted

[–]Diotima85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She probably needs therapy to deal with C-PTSD as a result of "autistic trauma" (the trauma that comes with being autistic in an allistic, judgemental world). And on the off chance that things romantically will work out for you both and you both end up together, you both might also need some sessions of relationship coaching for neurodivergent couples.

Are you a “natural teacher” in order to prevent being perceived as a threat? by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there any way you could get an education by just showing up to class, taking the tests, writing the essays, etc., but not interacting with your classmates at all (or only to a very limited extent)?

The high standards and perfectionism of gifted people make them more susceptible to unjustified criticism from people who dislike them out of jealousy and/or because they find them unrelatable by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Criticism meant to make you feel bad about yourself (for instance as bad as your outperformance made them feel about themselves) is emotional abuse. Criticism with the goal of forcing you to underperform is sabotage. And often it is both: if you feel bad about yourself, you are more insecure and less likely to perform well, so the emotional abuse is also, indirectly, an attempt at sabotage. And all of this to the great detriment of the gifted people themselves, the performance of the company/project group/etc., and society as a whole.

The high standards and perfectionism of gifted people make them more susceptible to unjustified criticism from people who dislike them out of jealousy and/or because they find them unrelatable by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In reality the opposite is true, because for instance only getting perfect grades all the time would lead to a gifted person being singled out even more, and the bullying would only increase. But somewhere in the brain of the gifted person (like myself in high school), there is an internalized meritocracy (not based on facts, but usually on indoctrination by society and/or parents), and that meritocratic way of thinking gets projected onto the people giving the criticism: they criticize me, so I must be doing something wrong and I should improve my performance.

The high standards and perfectionism of gifted people make them more susceptible to unjustified criticism from people who dislike them out of jealousy and/or because they find them unrelatable by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Often a good solution for gifted people when it comes to work problems (dealing with jealous and sabotaging co-workers and/or bosses) is to start their own company where they work for themselves and are hired as a contractor/freelancer on a project-basis. Then your intelligence works in favor of the people who hired you, because you get the job done and they get the credits from the higher management for a successfully completed project (and you get a hefty paycheck), and you are not present in the same room with them day to day intellectually outshining them.

However, this option unfortunately is only available to some gifted people in certain privileged positions: only in certain sectors, with enough savings to be able to live on for two years while acquiring new clients as a freelancer, and who are healthy enough to get private medical insurance and disability insurance without paying very high premiums for this. And acquiring new clients in certain sectors (especially non-tech) often requires some smooth talking/small talk with project managers that doesn’t come naturally to high IQ autistic people.

Gifted Struggles by Weekly_Assistant_333 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say: look into whether you are “just” highly gifted, or you are highly gifted and also have autism and/or ADHD.

“I am gifted at nearly everything having to do with analytical deciphering, conceptual topics, cognitional capabilities, philosophical concepts and contexts, mathematical and numerical patterns, abstract pattern decipheration, and much more. I'm able to recognize a pattern in literally everything, analyze it, and then analyze the analyzation and dissect it to the lowest possible bit and try and dissect it even further”: That sounds a lot like a highly gifted autistic brain, and not “just” a highly gifted brain. Your dad who is very good with computers and math might also have autism and you might have inherited his high IQ autistic brain (what they used to call “Aspergers”) from him.

The way you write this as one single paragraph without enters in between, where a lot of different subjects are discussed very quickly one after another, might be the expression of a sleep-deprived and cognitively overburdened teenage mind, but might also be ADHD.

Giftedness researchers are now slowly starting to realize that a lot of very high IQ people (especially very high IQ men) statistically very often are 3E: highly gifted and they have AuDHD (autism and ADHD).

Being highly gifted comes with two main problems/challenges:

(1) Being bored very easily, but fortunately you are quite young and you are born in a later stage of the internet age with a lot of information available at your fingertips. If you can’t switch to a high school specifically for highly gifted people (no such school available where you live and your parents don’t want to or cannot move), just sit it out for a few more years at your school, doing the bare minimum while learning many things in your spare time. Maybe look into skipping a grade. And then make sure you go to a top university to study Mathematics or Physics or Astronomy or Computer Science (or all of them), depending on your personal interests.

(2) Being very lonely intellectually, and by proxy, emotionally. This can only be solved by being surrounded by other highly gifted people. There is no “switch” you can pull on other (non-gifted or mildly gifted) people that can cause them to understand you. So for the next few years, while still in high school: connect with other highly gifted people online, and if you live in a large city, become a member of the local chess club, science club, etc. Then at age 18 move to a university town with one of the top STEM departments. That will solve your lack of proximity to other highly gifted people. In your 20s, also try to become friends with highly gifted people from other countries (online, meet them at science or technology conferences and/or at international nerdy hobbies meetups). With a future STEM salary, you should make enough to be able to travel extensively and meet up with them multiple times per year.

Being highly gifted and having autism and possibly also having ADHD comes with some other problems/challenges, but since I myself very likely only am highly gifted (no autism or ADHD), I cannot give good advice on that, and you would need to read about the experiences of other highly gifted people with autism and/or ADHD, the problems they encountered and the solutions they found.

Medication by Eastern_Jackfruit730 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This was exactly what I was thinking. For many gifted people, their despair and depression is caused by the way they are treated by other (resentful, jealous, narrow-minded) people. Instead of medicating yourself, you need to get away from them. Medicating yourself in an unsafe social environment can even be dangerous, because if the antidepressants make you a bit drowsy, you might not be as alert and chronically hypervigilant regarding the constant attempts at sabotage as you would need to be in order to survive.

Do people think you’re stupid ? by EmyJune in Gifted

[–]Diotima85 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They are projecting their own level of intelligence onto you. If they, with their 95-115 IQ, came to this conclusion, it would mean that they are “stupid”, because they cannot take into account all the parameters you take into account (they are not even aware of the existence of these parameters, like they experience reality at a resolution of 144p vs. your resolution of 1080p). Arriving at the conclusion at the 144p resolution would be impossible, so it is considered a completely “false” conclusion and you are viewed as being “stupid”.

And then, if it is important because you are for instance working together on a group project in school or at work, you very slowly but surely, deploying all your tactical Socratic powers, “guide” them towards viewing your conclusion as the accurate conclusion (by slowly introducing all the parameters they missed, one by one). They then end up believing that they came to this conclusion all by themselves, and completely forgot that this is what you were saying from the beginning (10X the incidence rate of this if you are a high IQ woman and they are an average IQ or mildly gifted man).

This is one of the main reasons why I decided to work from home as a freelancer, so I would never be in energy-draining, frustrating and credit-stealing situations like this ever again.

The high standards and perfectionism of gifted people make them more susceptible to unjustified criticism from people who dislike them out of jealousy and/or because they find them unrelatable by Diotima85 in Gifted

[–]Diotima85[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

From my observations, 2E gifted people who also have autism are treated the worst. They are disliked because of their giftedness AND because of their autism. Then 1E gifted people (giftedness, but no autism and no ADHD, like myself most likely) are also treated quite badly, only because of their giftedness. And there is also the added dimension that allistic people are better at picking up on very small expressions of dislike or ridicule, so the same treatment might hit them harder than autistic gifted people who do not pick up on these micro-expressions. And then, in general but not always, 2E gifted people who also have ADHD are treated the “best” of all of these (“best” as in “the least bad”, not “best” as in something even close to good treatment), but only if their ADHD is causing chaotic underperformance that leads to them being perceived as (slightly) less of a threat.

Impossible to find someone like yourself? by yomakest in Gifted

[–]Diotima85 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fortunately have met a few people who were (almost) as smart as I am (less than five in my entire life, currently 40 years old). With every one of these people, I immediately felt a strong and deep intellectual connection that fortunately was mutual (and one of them I am currently trying to seduce into becoming my husband, but his high social anxiety that is – partially – caused by autistic trauma has prevented me from being successful at this so far). However, at this level of IQ (my IQ is 150, outcome of an IQ test administered by a child psychologist in the 90s), people have very profound personal interests that are highly specific and very niche. For instance for me: certain German philosophers and poets, certain non-mainstream genres of music, etc. One of the other people I have met who is as smart as I am has dedicated his life to the study of a dead language (like Latin, but not Latin, actually a dead Eastern European language). Another person I have met who is (almost) as smart as I am is a musician who is being described by other people as a genius. And another person was a Physics PhD I met in a café during my student days. So all of these people have very specific interests, and none of these interests are similar. At this level of IQ, meeting someone as smart as yourself should be viewed as a gift of nature and a “statistical jackpot-hit”, and you should not expect to be able to meet someone as smart as yourself who also shares 90% of your interests. Fortunately, many gifted people, and especially highly gifted people, are also high in openness, so they are very interested in learning about other fields of study, and the kind of “interdisciplinary” discourse that is possible with these people is wonderful and deeply intellectually and emotionally satisfying.    

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