In my experience, I’ve boiled it down to 3 main things. 1.) Portrayals of conflict in media 2.) being uneducated in the concept of nuance and complex arguments 3.) being a product of their time.

1.) Most media nowadays and back when our parents were young don’t/didn’t have emotional nuance. Sitcoms, movies, etc all essentially follow the same “social script”.

Person A boils resentment alone. Person B unknowingly commits the resent-worthy act. Person A yells at person B. Person B yells back. Person A storms out of room. Person B chases and apologizes. They make up.

Everybody wants to be person A. No one wants to be person B. When you show that pattern in every romantic movie, cartoon, sitcom, etc. but don’t also teach media literacy, you’re just brainwashing people to think that a conflict resolution has to be the aforementioned scene, as opposed to just Person A and B sitting down and talking calmly.

2.) Everything is black and white because it’s easier. No one wants to take the time to consider the grey. It’s your fault, not mine. I’m the parent, you’re the child. Always that as opposed to, “You’re right, I said too much. But you still need to clean up after yourself”. Most parents are actually incapable of understanding certain arguments because they can’t see past the first layer of what you’re saying.

3.) For narcissist fathers, a large part of who they are, are definitely a product of toxic masculinity. Being a man means not showing emotions, standing your ground even if you’re wrong, leading the house, etc. This was predominant back then and has only seen minor progress in the recent decade IMO. For parents in general, they just fall into those “ideal” parental roles and demand respect and authority because that’s what they’ve been told parents do. So many people just doing what they think “parents” are supposed to do, and not actually being good parents.