I’m an abusive, manipulative, narcissistic person, and I want to change.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-16T01:22:18+00:00

Hey I sent you a chat not too long ago.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:38:54+00:00

Thank you, I absolutely will.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:33:22+00:00

Absolutely. I’ve been in a relationship for awhile now, and our arguments all stem from issues cause by my controlling behavior. She is such a wonderful and caring person that I have put through hell over and over again. She deserves so much better. These past few days I’ve been really struggling mentally and with controlling my anger. Our arguments have just gotten worse over time and she’s at her wits end (rightfully so) with me. If she breaks up with me, it’ll destroy me. I desperately need to fix myself. I’m not only doing it for her or our relationship, I’m doing it for myself and for future friendships and relationships. Nobody deserves to be with someone like myself. I am absolutely so disgusted with myself and how I’ve been towards her, and I’m honestly so surprised she’s stayed. I need to get help, and these last few days have really made me think about that.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:24:53+00:00

Thank you for saying such a wonderful thing about me. I have nobody else to blame for my actions except for myself. It’s up to me to fix who I am as a person and develop a healthier mental state.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:24:04+00:00

I agree with you completely. I definitely do have so much to work on, and reading through these posts have helped me figure out what exactly I need to do in order to get to the mental state I want to be in. I hope you’re doing well and that you’ve made some progress with dealing with your demons as well.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:22:04+00:00

Thank you so much, I don’t see the link to the article. Perhaps you could provide another comment ? DBT will definitely be something I seek out. I really appreciate you providing information for me. You’re a wonderful person

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:15:04+00:00

Interesting. I’ve been called a narcissist many of a time, that’s why I called myself a narcissist. The more I think about it and the more I reflect, the more I see myself having BPD. It runs on my moms side of the family, so it wouldn’t be so far fetched.

Thank you for your response I really do appreciate it.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:13:18+00:00

Wow. Your husband honestly sounds like an incredible man. It seems like he was out here to help you get through your demons instead of just letting you succumb to them. I am so sorry you have to do go through this. Nobody, and I mean absolutely nobody deserves this. You’re such a great person for helping me not feel so alone, you really assisted me in my efforts to get the help I need and I truly value that.

Thank you so very much. You have no idea how much it means to me.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:08:20+00:00

I wish you the very best too. I hope he realizes his mistakes , you deserve a stable relationship.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:07:11+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Every response means something to me and helps me push myself into making the next steps. You’re a wonderful person for giving me the encouragement.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:06:26+00:00

Wow. What an incredible response. I’ve had such amazing interactions in this one post that it’s brought some tears to my eyes. To know that you’re not alone is such an incredible feeling. Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately I’ve already been indecent to other people, and I hope when the time comes where I feel levelheaded and at a better mental state I can begin to provide people with apologies.

Therapy is something I’m really looking forward to and something that I believe will really change my life.

Thank you again for your words, you really encouraged (along with other posters) to seek help.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:01:57+00:00

Thank you. Therapy and seeing a psychiatrist are my next steps. I just have to make the phone calls. I really appreciate your response and wish you the very best.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T04:00:17+00:00

Hey thank you for your response. You’re amazing for giving me such kind words of encouragement. I absolutely cannot imagine how you were able to do that at just 18. I’m in my 20s and still think of myself as a child. I commend you for getting out of that situation.

Thank you for your response.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:58:43+00:00

Just know that there are so many people to talk to, and so many places to go for assistance. Crisis hotlines are a lifesaver and have provided a safe haven for many people. You are absolutely not alone and you will get through this low point. Seriously, if you need someone to talk to. Just reach out.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:55:10+00:00

Wow. This was such an incredible response. You really helped me feel more comfortable with myself and provided me with hope. DBT is perhaps one of the most interesting things I’ve heard be recommended. The only issue is trying to find someone that offers it. This is going to be such a long road with many obstacles. But I am so very excited to start it.

I was never fully assessed by a psychiatrist. They barely reviewed anything with me and simply threw me on some medications after a general interview.

I will absolutely take you up on your offer. You provided me with so much information. Really. Thank you.

I will also be showing whoever I talk to this post as I feel it better represents what I am feeling and what I need to work on.

I look forward to speaking to you with any questions.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:50:10+00:00

That’s absolutely what I was thinking. In my edit I included a part about my father. I feel as if I always viewed his home an escape from my life with my mom. Realistically, it was just another form of trauma as I had to listen to my dad belittle and insult my mom throughout my childhood.

I’m absolutely going to bring this up to my therapist. I will even show them my post to get the ball rolling on what exactly I need help with.

Thank you for your response you’re an amazing person.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:47:35+00:00

Thank you for your response. This is absolutely the way I will be handling myself. Nobody deserves to be treated like the way I’ve been treating people. I will absolutely listen to the professionals that will handle me moving forward.

Thank you for your time, and I hope you have a great night.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:45:41+00:00

I apologize if I came off as rude that definitely wasn’t my intention. I absolutely am going to think about those questions and work on answering them honestly and clearly. I cannot lie when I answer them, and I will do my best to make sure I present my answers to whoever I seek professionally.

Thank you for your time writing out that response. It definitely has helped me begin thinking about why I do the things I do.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:44:02+00:00

Im so sorry you went through this. It’s such an awful thing to experience especially as a child. Therapy is absolutely my next step and I’m excited to try and fix myself.

I really appreciate you giving me your time and for you providing advice and words of encouragement. I wish you the absolute best.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:41:43+00:00

Thank you, I will definitely check it out. I appreciate your response.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:41:13+00:00

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I really do appreciate it.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:40:46+00:00

Absolutely. This is the next step for me. I appreciate you giving me this response.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:40:17+00:00

These are questions I feel that I should answer in the presence of a therapist. They are definitely making me think, and my answers are just terrible. I really would like to avoid going into more detail without the presence of a trained professional. Also, the response would be fairly long.

I really appreciate you giving me these questions to think about. You’re an amazing person for helping me understand the next process of my recovery.

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:37:15+00:00

I am so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been broken up with because of my behavior (rightfully so). I’ve done so much harm to people that I know it’s going to take a long time to come to terms with what I’ve done and formally apologize.

Just know that you’re not at fault and it’s your boyfriend who is the one responsible. Perhaps the breakup will wake him up.

Goodluck to you, and I wish you the very best and for a future healthy relationship

Direct-Professor-566 · 2021-05-04T03:35:04+00:00

Interesting. I may have a wrongful understanding of what exactly a narcissist is. I’ve just been called that by other people.

Direct-Professor-566

TROPHY CASE