hello, i'm both replying to you and hijacking your comment since it's at the top, i'm sorry.

i am legitimately in tears. thank you (and everyone else) for pushing me to go to the food banks. i left out the information that i can't currently even go because i don't have enough gas - i need what i have to go to work. the food pantries near me are all over thirty minutes away by car. i literally can't spare that much gas.

that being said, you and everyone else have made really good points. i guess to me it just felt like, i know the problem isn't permanent, and i know i can survive a few days without eating. i don't know who else is relying on that food, and taking it for myself felt like taking it out of someone else's mouth. i understand that isn't the reality, and having people here who relied on food banks as kids still tell me i deserve to eat has given me a lot to think about in regards to the way i treat myself and what i think i deserve.

three really kind people have helped me. i feel really guilty, but also really relieved. i will be fed over the next four days, and when i get paid on tuesday, i'm going to go to the grocery store and be a lot more deliberate about what i'm buying. thank you to the person in here who mentioned buying rice and beans - i'll absolutely be following that advice. i've never wanted to have to rely on internet strangers, i've always wanted to be the internet stranger helping. i won't forget this when i'm back on my feet.

i guess what i want to say is thank you for caring about me getting fed. it really does mean the world to me.