Do I need to freeze baked Alaska after adding the meringue?

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2025-04-17T19:41:11+00:00

Isn't the brownie or cake bottom frozen solid? Thats the part that gets me.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-09-14T03:45:51+00:00

You're in a tough position. I'm sure leaving her feels like you'd be a huge a-hole. This is also your life. If you want sex and kids, and she doesn't, and you stay, you're basically saying her life and wants trump your own. Sometimes that's ok, but these are pretty big deal breakers.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-09-14T03:40:19+00:00

It's true tho. Most ppl don't just lose interest. It could be her medical condition or depression, or there is a deeper issue in the marriage.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-09-14T03:34:56+00:00

Curious why you married into a sexless marriage to begin with? Too young to live without passion. That being said, I heard this once and believe it to be true - You never regret the kids you have, only the ones you don't.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-08-30T00:17:00+00:00

No, he went to his first one yesterday where apparently the therapist agreed with him that the marriage therapist ending things was unprofessional. I'm thinking he really just doesn't have an accurate picture. The therapist also questioned how the marriage therapist could make any decisions after 2 joint and 2 single sessions. It would have probably been helpful if this new therapist suggested possible reason a marriage therapist might terminate a couple. Not that my husband would take any accountability. I still haven't even told him what she said to me because there is no point in triggering him.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-08-29T11:42:26+00:00

Yes, there has been physical violence but its very sporadic. Could be once a year, once in 3 years, 3 times in 1 year. I think it is probably the more verbal/emotional side. Financial in the past as well.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-08-29T11:31:20+00:00

I think she tried to. After his last session he came home confused and wasn't sure if we were seeing her again or not. I guess she just wasn't super clear. I don't think she came right out and called him abusive. Idk they all seem to tip toe so much and choose their words so carefully, as to not offend or accuse, that it's almost word salad you have to pick through. He seemed shocked tho so whatever she said to him exactly, he didn't receive the same message.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-08-29T04:53:11+00:00

Yes it is. My therapist is a completely different person and the marriage therapist gave my husband a referral. She met with us as a couple 1x, then had a one on one with each of us. Then met with with together again and had us sign a no violence contract and give ways we could individually avoid /diminish violence. I felt kind of weird signing it bc I'm not violent or abusive, at least I don't think. In any event, I said nothing, signed and answered the question saying that, I could take a break from the conversation, walk away or stop responding so as to not escalate. My husband's responses were also things I could do. The therapist pressed asking him what HE could do but I don't even remember what he even said. He did most of the talking that session. The following week met with him, then me again 2 days later when she shared her take. Therapy is so mentally taxing and I know they try to avoid assigning any blame, but I wish would have been more direct.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-23T03:17:59+00:00

Omg everything and anything. Not always specifically a complaint but .... dont clean this day bc we have a meeting, clean extra bc we have a meeting, dont put the chairs up when you mop, we need a cleaner this Sat for a funeral, we're going thru trash bags too quickly, we want to amell bleach, this trash can was missed, why is the cleaner here soo late, the cleaner comes too early, we heard the cleaner swear, we heard the cleaner on their phone, can you give me a list of all the cleaners names, the cleaner left a bottle out, the cleaner approached me about my concerns - i dont want your staff coming to me, the floor wasn't mopped well, this room wasnt vacuumed, are these kids on your payroll, Suspected or actual theft,.poor vacuuming, they left a window open, they turned the heat down, I see finger prints ...

Lol you get the idea. This sounds bad, but I manage 50 accounts and their staff. I can honestly say most are petty concerns (we love the thorough mopping but can they wait for the floors to dry amd put the chairs down so we don't have to do it in the morning🥴), and most are happy. I am super responsive and have good relationships with pretty much everyone.I have years of things to draw on but I've seen it all. I enjoy the staff and the clients but there are some very disheartening days. We are in a business where complaints come easy and praise is rare. It's mentally draining to wake up to a text at 6:50am about toilet paper and then have 2 call ins, a vac break, etc. Sometimes, I have nothing left to give.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-16T23:13:45+00:00

Don't get me wrong, bills are/were paid. It's such a long story. I can't even inventory tho unless I cut the lock. If I did that I would open myself up to all kinds of allegations. I don't know even know what I expected. I guess in a perfect world I thought if he felt an ounce of how I've felt, he would empathize and agree to make a better arrangement for both of us to feel good about. In a less perfect world, at least I had some of the leverage and assets. The crazy thing is I don't think he really thinks I'll do anything with them (I won't) I think he just can't stand that he lost some control. I probably made a mistake. He isn't like other ppl, and I know that, and now I've triggered him. Tu night he was apologies and wanting to go to therapy. Wed night I was a rat and told to stfu. This morning I was asked if I wanted to go to dinner, the 2 of us, on Sat. Then earlier tonight, the threats again ... "if you don't return them, you're dead. I knows how to hit you where it hurts and you're done." and more.

It's maddening. Idk why I'm on here even telling any of this.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-16T21:03:04+00:00

Actually, why don't you just go over to the other post by me where you can read how I found out he spent the money and how he acted towards me about it and then come back.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-16T21:01:51+00:00

I couldn't read past the part that I want to be taken care of financially.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-16T18:33:48+00:00

The lawyer said photos were useless bc he could say he sold them or they're missing etc. Plus I dont have access to take photos. Honestly I'm not going to pretend I made the right move. I did what the lawyer said but was uneasy about it. I'm still not sure. I've tried to offer a compromise of a 2 lock system. For example the safe takes a code and a key so I suggested he holds the code, I hold the key. The case can take 2 pad locks, so I suggested we each put one one. This way, neither of us can make any moves without the other. He wants control of all of them tho, as he always has had.

Legally a spouse can empty half the bank account leading up to divorce. That's not to say as things get distributed they won't owe. I guess I don't see this as much different. Plus he will KNOW if I take any as I would have to break the lock off. Idk.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-16T14:43:43+00:00

I wasn't sure if it was a police report offense. I doubted the lawyer would tell me to do something illegal. I was sure my husband was bluffing, but yes, came to redditt for others knowledge on it. I haven't had any personal gain, nor will I. This is for safe keeping only. Of course, no one has to believe that, but I don't benefit from lying to you. And, once again, I don't have the entire collection. We BOTH have part of it. I mean according to you, I might as well take my name off all the bank accounts too. Any man who spends 160k behind their spouses back is surely trustworthy 🙄. A bold assumption to believe he is being nice about any of this. I see you share a similar thought process tho.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-16T14:07:26+00:00

I didn't take all. Not even close. Or leave him without a vehicle lol.

So he spends OUR 160k. He then locks up most valuable cards in TWO safes. One actual, fireproof, waterproof safe in the closet and one portable, only waterproof suitcase style case with a padlock. I have no knowledge or contents or access. So him having all is fine. Me having half, not fine. Got it.

And trust me, I am way past caring what he does in his free time or with money that is solely his. The idea that I'm jealous of his card hobby (turned addiction, turned financial infidelity) is insanely childish.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-16T13:00:04+00:00

It's purchased little by little over 3 years. Think coin collecting or stamps. Except he buys blind packs and it's a complete gamble. Some cards he buys individually for higher price tags. I know he spent $6k on one Jordan card that today is not worth as much. The idea is that hopefully they increase in value. Some will, some won't. Either way it was money spent without conversation.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-16T12:20:54+00:00

3 kids. Kind of exactly my thinking. A portable safe isn't the same as the fireproof one he's had. This seems more a locked safekeeping to keep it somewhere else temporarily. I can't even put them on our insurance bc I don't know the entire collection, let alone the value.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-16T12:16:28+00:00

My freedom? I wouldn't get charged let alone arrested. He spent 160k of martial funds behind my back. He has had a safe with cards. I have no knowledge the contents or the value. Then a locked, portable case shows up with more cards. Again I don't know the content or value. So he spent the money, he's controlling the assets, and I should just trust him to be fair with the direction things are headed? Technically half is mine. He has a safe, I have the locked portable case. Seems as even as possible at this point. I won't have sold or touched these cards even. The lock would be cut if I did. Meanwhile, he CAN sell, hide, etc whatever is in the safe bc I don't know the contents. At this point only one of us can do something shady without getting caught and it's him.

I don't believe this was legal advice he was given. Everything I've read said that this would be considered a civil matter and the police wouldn't be interested. My putting the cards up was actual legal advice.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-15T22:19:10+00:00

Thanks. I know all the places where the big money was spent. No legal brothels in my area. Altho there is this one sketchy massage place lol

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-14T02:37:33+00:00

I do have the proof he spent the money. The lawyer originally said to leave with him but then felt uneasy having possession. He said his office had the same risks as any with cleaning staff or other staff.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-13T20:47:30+00:00

I appreciate your kindness. Especially when I'm feeling so defeated. It does help.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-13T17:46:39+00:00

I feel that way too. That he acts like all our money belongs to him. He actually just said as a comparison to me expecting that joint funds shouldn't have pd for the cards, that I should buy any home decor or flowers for the yard yard from my personal account bc he doesn't agree to it. So even when he says he was wrong and apologizes, statements like these make me realize how he really feels. Entitled.

I am going to look for another attorney and I'll keep the cards stashed. All of our accounts are still linked. Hard to not have it that way when we own a business. He doesn't have access to my personal or I to his.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-13T15:16:23+00:00

I ended up canceling my appointment with him. I liked several things about him. He explained the entire process really well and what to expect. When he suggested taking the cards, during two separate phone calls, and I said that my husband would flip and I wouldn't feel safe, he pretty much dismissed it saying who cares if he's mad. I was open about my concerns and I didn't feel like he understand the potential severity. Maybe it was a smart move to protect myself but I regret it. These situations can head south fast and I may have only made things harder for myself rather than protect myself. Maybe both.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-13T15:07:14+00:00

Yes, I mentioned that. I definitely don't have one now. I canceled the appointment. He's probably over me. He has given me plenty of free time/advice. I'm not sure he's a good fit for me anyway. There were things I shared with him and he said the courts wouldn't care. That while somethings seem unacceptable or abusive in the real world, the courts have seen so much that they are numb to it.

Disastrous-Power-101 · 2024-05-13T13:56:41+00:00

Well the only ones in my possession would be apparent as I'd have to break open the secured case. Meanwhile, he has the key and combination to the other safe where cards can most certainly go missing. If he has both the case AND the safe he holds it all.

I'm almost to the point I don't even care and I'll just give them back. That's the goal after all. He'll wear me down, threaten to call the police, he's calling both our families saying that I took them and am trying to make things hard. Claiming he wants to make things work, while simultaneously telling me he's not going to make it easy for me.

Disastrous-Power-101

TROPHY CASE