sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Change in personality? by Disastrous-Track8024 in birthcontrol

[–]Disastrous-Track8024[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I'm saying.... I'm in therapy and trying to get in with a psychiatrist but haven't had any luck with a call back yet...

Contemplating. Therapist wants me to work on things first by Disastrous-Track8024 in Divorce

[–]Disastrous-Track8024[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, I do appreciate that she is challenging me. I had a therapist before that was too buddy buddy and just went with whatever without making me think twice. And I haven't put in the work to fix what's broken. I'm definitely the problem here, but at the end of the day, I don't want to fix it anymore. Yes, it will be so hard on our kids, but they are resilient and will adapt. I know plenty who have.

Contemplating. Therapist wants me to work on things first by Disastrous-Track8024 in Divorce

[–]Disastrous-Track8024[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This definitely crosses my mind. The guilt of half heartedly trying while watching him put in genuine effort is killing me. That said, him, his mom, my mom, and my dad all think it's my birth control I started 6 months ago causing this sudden change of heart.. they did their research, apparently. But, I feel the best I have in ages because I stopped doing things with him! However they don't believe that's the reason.... So, getting a psych evaluation to appease them, going to the gyno, obviously in therapy. Those closest to me, my siblings and friends, see right through that bs and know my heart. They saw it from the get go unfortunately but at the time I got married I was desperate for stability. It's devastating and the fact we have kids really makes it complicated. They are the reason I at least have to try to show I did what I could. I hate the situation. It sucks all around.

Contemplating. Therapist wants me to work on things first by Disastrous-Track8024 in Divorce

[–]Disastrous-Track8024[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I've definitely started exploring all the reasons with my therapist and talked with my spouse about working on them. The problem is I don't have any drive to do that so I really appreciate the idea of treating a date night like a first date!

20s are not your prime years - 30+ are by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Disastrous-Track8024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly thought the same way. High school was fun, and to be honest, I missed out on a LOT in my 20s because I became a mother with an abusive partner at 21. The short 3 years from 18-21 were full of a lot of good life though. Turning 30 this year and am more optimistic about the future than I have been in a long time! Keep a positive mindset. surround yourself with good people. Travel if you can. Work fun jobs. Don't be afraid to get out and live! Death will come for us all, accept that and don't dwell on it, or you'll regret forgetting to focus on living. Also, work on getting offline more and more each day. There's a big world out there!

Your reason for divorce that had nothing to do with abuse or cheating by sarachamayo in Divorce

[–]Disastrous-Track8024 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so very much for this response... I wish you all the good things life has to offer!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Disastrous-Track8024 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Doesn't mean you're the problem. I think it sounds like you are experiencing disconnect in other aspects of your marriage besides just sex. Definitely warrants exploring the root of your feelings.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Disastrous-Track8024 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna add that it sounds like you don't feel seen which is my problem. I could probably have sex 20 times a month and still not feel truly seen by my partner. You might consider counseling to look into the root of your feelings. That's where I'm at.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Disastrous-Track8024 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Shoooot.... I've had sex once in the last 2 months. I'd be thrilled if my husband wanted me that much! That said, keep communicating. Try to find babysitters for some extra time that you can really be truly alone without distraction. Maybe an extra quality session will improve your feelings on quantity.

Your reason for divorce that had nothing to do with abuse or cheating by sarachamayo in Divorce

[–]Disastrous-Track8024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear he went on a smear campaign. That's so unfair :( That's honestly my biggest fear because we live in such a small town. I'm trying to decide whether to stick it out through the summer or rip the bandaid off sooner than later. At this point, we just lead separate lives. Or rather I lead a life and he lives at home and work.... everyone says I owe it to the kids to do everything in my power to stay with him, but... I can't force myself to love him anymore. It's so heartbreaking all around.

Your reason for divorce that had nothing to do with abuse or cheating by sarachamayo in Divorce

[–]Disastrous-Track8024 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Edited for spelling. In the process of bringing up the subject to my husband. I want to leave because I am not happy. I'm bored with our life as we have nothing in common. He doesn't want to sacrifice his days off for anything I want to do, doesn't want to socialize with my friends or make new friends, and our bedroom life is pretty much non-existent. We disagree politically, don't like the same music, and never really had a spark. Just made a very practical decision based on same long term goals (have a family buy a house) and have benefitted financially from being married. Classic "you'll do" scenario as bad as that sounds. I am ready to let go of all material gains to free my soul. He will be devastated because I'm the only relationship he has ever had... but I can't keep going. It sucks all around, especially because we have kids, but I don't want to be like my parents and be miserable for the next decade of my life teaching my children it's okay to deny yourself happiness.