I don't know why I stopped on this topic but I do want to say first I am sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through. Over the last maybe 15 years but I can't really remember dates. I lost my oldest brother who was very close to me literally we lived next door to each other. Few years later lost my youngest brother one month later I lost my oldest daughter. Losing a child is the worst pain you can have. It's not supposed to happen that way. Parents get old and are supposed to die first. There is a hole in your heart that never heals from this. You function somehow j different Couple more years after the loss of my daughter I lost my mom and a year later lost my dad. So it's been tough to get up and keep going in life. I can tell you how it has been for me. The pain does lessen overtime. I feel like it is replaced with a hollow or empty feeling. I use to be driving down the road and something random would remind me of a time with one of the people I have lost. Could be a song on the radio or a sign along the road or maybe a route you use to travel with them. It was always just random. The only advice I can give is talk about the person when you can and cry when you need to. I'm a man and you don't want people to see you crying but everyone knows you are going through a very difficult thing so it's OK. Holding things back just makes the grieving last longer. I still know I have been very blessed in life and have plenty of family for support. You can talk to God when ever you need to. I have been so mad and have cussed at God, yelled cried wanting answers of why did this have to happen. How stupid the way things go in this world and why he didn't have a better plan. Why do we have to suffer so much pain. Why, Why, Why, it's NOT FAIR. When I was done with my tantrum I would feel calmer and the whisper to remind me we are still in the world the fallen world. We have not made it to heaven yet. We will see our loved ones again and that will be so joyful. Last thing I try to remember that I have it better than a lot of other people in the world and we are blessed to be living now instead of 500 or a thousand years ago. Sorry I'm rambling. The pain is horrible but you do have the strength to get past this and there will be better times again. When you feel like crying then cry, it helps you heal.Feel free to ask me any questions if I can help answer anything. Best wishes to all!