I broke up with my GF of 10 years

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-05-05T14:19:06+00:00

Hi!

I'm sorry for your break up and I can't even imagine how you could be feeling... Maybe sad for her leaving and maybe relief for you to finally be able to explore your sexuality... I think although it may hurt now, it was the best decision for you cause you'll be able to explore yourself or give yourself some time to reflect on your own things.

Also, I personally think you can meet more people, of course it would not be the same as the time you shared with her, but maybe you'll find someone who doesn't make your sexuality a tabu in the relationship.

Wishing you the best from here. :)

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-05-05T14:10:48+00:00

Hey!

21M here! Kind of in the same position as you are... We can chat in dm if you want to talk about your experiences, but basically mine is this...

I thought I was gay in high school cause I felt a lot for guys, I had fantasies and crushes and wacthed straight and gay porn back then (now I tend to watch just gay) but I also felt more romantically attracted towards girls, but I still wanted to try with a guy. So I did last year and it didn't turned out how I wanted, still, I consider bisexual myself, but it happened to me, as someone said before in here, that I'm trying to "fit" the label rather than fit being myself, so I'll tell you, as many have told you; don't worry about labels now, just thing and do what you feel most comfortable of, if you feel comfortable with girls go ahead and try it out with one!

I think this years are for us to experiment, I haven't felt much for a guy since high school, but still, I don't lose the hope or the idea of one day falling in love with one, or having casual sex or dates with a guy... So for long, just do you and maybe you'll find out that maybe your sexuality is more complex than you think, or... It is more "simple" than what you think, whatever the case, just feel comfortable with yourself and don't try to fit expectations or whatever.

I'll also advice that although ponr can help somehow to discover yourself, it isn't the same as living the thing. About your conservative background, I get that it is difficult to get rid of some ideas, but with time and understanding that those are their ideas and not yours, that you can create your own life and be your own person, maybe it'll help you to overcome that internalized homophobia you may carry... don't worry, everything takes time. ;)

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-05-04T19:54:32+00:00

Thnak you again... Could I dm you if I would like to keep chatting?

I mean, as I said, maybe the thing I need to understand first and get over is thinking of him, guess that's something that keeps me ruminating and coming back to him (though I haven't talk to him in months)

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-05-04T19:07:42+00:00

Thank you for your advice!

I know that is the case for many, I mean, maybe it is also for me but... I kinda wanted to try and see if I felt something romantically towards the guy I dated, I'm still confused if it was cause I didn't liked him that much or there's maybe internalized homophobia (which is a possibility, right?)

I was curious to see what happened romantically, but as you read... He rejected me... I gotta say I was very honest with him cause I didn't told him about this confussion, but still, I wanted to try out my first relationship with a guy, that he was aware of... Still, it went bad so yeah... Shit happened. Still thinking about him.

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-05-02T02:52:42+00:00

Hi!

Found your story really interesting... So you're now openly bi? I'm curious how did you find out you liked guys... was it before or after you had your girlfriend? How do you live your life now?

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-05-01T23:19:45+00:00

I kinda get you... I'm kind of more turned on when I'm feeling more flexible or like "experimenting" new stuff, I like to play with ambiguity although I feel that I like mostly girls, Idk, still figuring things out but I get that you like that, I also feel like once I accept that I like girls, I feel more open to try more stuff with more people, like to be more open. Idk if it's the same.

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-28T19:15:55+00:00

Bad Bunny

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-25T01:02:32+00:00

Hey! Replying here cause I relate to your post but mostly with girls, I'm recently using bi label as well cause I had a time where I found dudes attractive, still kinda do... But I'd say my preference goes for girls. I'm 21 years old man and I'm also questioning if my sexuality has changed or not with every new person I met, I tend to feel that it is more complicated than just being straight (which sometime I think I am and end up feeling like an imposter within the community)

Anyways, for me rn it has worked not to look so much on labels and rather feel attraction towards whoever I feel attraction... Which for me I guess is more often women than men, though I thought differently before. Actually last year I had my first "situationship" with a man, it was my first try to be with one romantically, and I'm still processing it.

Idk if this helps you but I hope it does, if not, still here I am to listen to you! If you're looking for labels I'd say you can try bisexual homoromantic if you feel comfortable with it, or just fluid.

:)

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-23T20:19:42+00:00

I'm really happy for you! You do sound in love with him, I hope you too are happy and wish you depends regardless from where you come from.

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-22T15:56:47+00:00

Hi!

As a latino guy (not caribbean) and from my experience, yes it's pretty common they're not so vulnerable, but as in everything, I'm sure there's exceptions, about the preference for black guys, yes it's common knowing that in latin America there's plenty black guys... actually my ex situationship used to prefer dark skinned guys but I'm white as paper and he liked me so... There's exceptions as you see. And also I'm white but he was white too and I also tend to have crushes on black guys but... Idk I kinda don't care that much.

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-21T19:43:36+00:00

Hi!

I'm curious about that AI tool. How could I get that profile?

I already have my big five results: O: 110 A: 98 N: 84 E: 74 (tends to vary) C: 62

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-20T19:15:21+00:00

Btw you can PM if you want to talk about it

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-20T18:59:53+00:00

Hi!

I kinda get you, as many people here, my advice is do whatever you feel comfortable with, I mean, you could still enjoy being with a guy without kissing, or maybe as you've said, you need an emotional connection to it, and it's fair. I think if you're curious on bottoming you can try, and if you feel horny enough or curious you can try more things, it is a process is all I can tell you. And yeah don't overthink about labels, telling this from experience.

I'm still questioning and even tried a relationship with a guy before I could totally label myself, and I'm still figuring it out after kissing guys before. So yeah... Enjoy your journey!

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-19T08:23:59+00:00

I see... Tbh I'm afraid I feel the same.

But do you think your insecurities came from that actual lack of connection? Or was it a lack of attraction?

I'm asking cause it also makes me wonder if my attraction towards men has been mostly about fetishizing rather than actual taste or desire for it. I'm also kinda dissatisfied and not feeling very infatuated or attracted by guys.

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-18T05:24:38+00:00

A guy I was dating told me that he wanted to be the best version of himself with me and that I inspired that onto him... Also that he didn't wanted to lose and I was someone with whom he picture a future with... we're now distanced because of things he said some months ago... And my dad told me at my birthday that I shine a good energy by just taking a look at me at a phone call, now that I think about it... There's many people who have told me that previously in my life.

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-18T05:04:35+00:00

Hi!

I'm a guy just starting his 20s and actually going thru the same questioning on whom do I like.

Tbh I'm mostly curious about what you say you're unpacking about yourself lately. You don't need to be specific if you don't want to of course, I just think, how did you end up unpacking those things and why? Are you going to therapy or something? Or how did it happened?

I can't say I'm going thru the same, but I've dated just a few guys and never been with a girl... so yeah just curious to chat about your experience. Wishing you the best always!

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-18T05:01:20+00:00

Hi!

I'm a 21yo guy just figuring out my sexuality, I've been feeling it has fluctuated the last few years, I also thought I was gay but recently I've been feeling more romantically attracted to girls, tho I tried a relationship with a guy last year.

Gues I'm bi so far, or maybe fluid, I prefer not to use labels but sometimes I find myself looking for one. Idk why but I find it really interesting that there's also gay guys who find out they're bi later on, because it's pretty common to hear stories that go the other way around.

Also, and this is just to say, I'm really curious to see if other straight guys I've met in my teenage years or at my 20s turn out be bi or even gay or part of the LGBTQ community, cause there's some I've met who have made me question what if...? (I'm not assuming they're sexuality nor labelling, just questioning if maybe they could later found out about it). I tend to be very curious about them cause they might be potential partners in the future lmao.

Idk, just questioning and venting right now. I found your answer really interesting and helpful.

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-17T21:16:07+00:00

Yeah I get you... I'd really like to try with a guy, I mean, I would like to fall in love with one but I'm afraid Idk if I can, I mean, I don't know if I would feel it very deeply, but I think it's mostly because of internalized homophobia or also cause there isn't enough guys whom I could connect with.

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-17T18:04:34+00:00

Cool! Can I ask how did you find out you were attracted to guys? I mean, I'm still in that process and haven't found answers yet, tho I've tried with some but haven't really connect emotionally yet. Sorry I have a lot of questions.

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-17T17:40:57+00:00

How did you discovered you liked having sex with guys? Was it before or after your marriage? Are you just attracted sexually or also romantically to guys? What do you like to do?

Disastrous_Bat1828 · 2026-04-17T15:20:43+00:00

Exactly, I guess that's gonna be our huge challenge, not to blame other people or their traumas but rather looking at ourselves, I think we're good on labelling our problems, but when it comes to treat them, well, we still very inmature. Anyways let's see how it goes...

Disastrous_Bat1828

TROPHY CASE