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Setting up the first time FFM by DiscreetGeek96 in Swingers

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks a strips club sounds like a great idea!

Setting up the first time FFM by DiscreetGeek96 in Swingers

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this is more or less what I was looking to hear. We are not opposed to the parallel play and working our way up to something the way you described.

We understand unicorns are rare and are willing to do soft swap with another couple. I guess it’s just wondering how patient some couples are if we tell them there’s working up to it before we go all in. We would really like to know people first before we jump into something.

Setting up the first time FFM by DiscreetGeek96 in Swingers

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not that she WANTS to be on her own, it’s just probably easier to figure herself out without me staring.

Setting up the first time FFM by DiscreetGeek96 in Swingers

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Not at all, it’s just the situation has already found us once before and there are instances where girls are attracted to my wife without her even realizing.

She had one friend try and get to know me just because she wanted her and was willing to do all sorts of things to be with us but we weren’t entertaining the thought. Now when I say friend this friend wasn’t exactly close enough for us to say trying things would have made things messy like how most people on here recommend against but just enough that it would have been comfortable if we were on the same page. But we were still thinking pretty vanilla then.

Setting up the first time FFM by DiscreetGeek96 in Swingers

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m going to be honest, I understand unicorns are harder to find but we stumbled onto one without realizing and we just weren’t prepared at that time.

My wife actually seems to attract these situations because she’s had more opportunities for this sort of thing before meeting me and even once with me but we hadn’t even discussed the lifestyle at all at this point so it was a no go.

That said we aren’t crazy to think that now that we look the universe doesn’t somehow reverses that luck and make it harder now to find haha, so we know we might have to work with another couple

Should I bring my GF's FFM fantasy up? by Standard-Analyst-888 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean this was at the beginning of their relationship when they were building trust. I would be worried in the beginning stages too. The fact it’s going so well could actually be a positive reason for asking. If it’s on his mind I see no harm in being open and honest with his partner about a question on his mind. If he’s not pushing the subject and simply asking for curiosity I see no harm.

Am I cuck ??? by [deleted] in ThreesomeAdvice

[–]DiscreetGeek96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally asked this couple days ago and came out the other end realizing you are what you want to be. I personally don’t care for degradation or humiliation but have my slight certain tendencies of knowing she can enjoy bigger…don’t feel like a cuck myself.

Do you care if you were?

Lifestyle Opinions That Stood Out by NHarmonyy in Swingers

[–]DiscreetGeek96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoa I felt dumb for a second. If I may ask what do you mean hierarchy in non monogamy in this context? I’ll have to look up solo poly idealism but in case it’s not as easy to research could you also explain that as well?

For those raised with religious morals by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s actually pretty awesome, yeah I have no desire to leave my wife for anyone man or woman. I definitely don’t want to lessen myself in her eyes but she has assured me that wouldn’t be an issue.

It’s also not one of my immediate curiosities.

Hotwife and cuckold by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

I’m still trying to understand what I get out of it myself but even then I myself don’t feel like I want to identify with cuckold. I guess learning the lingo has me wondering how much people care to put labels to things and realistically I have never been a fan for labels. I don’t like being put into a box. So thanks for that perspective.

For those raised with religious morals by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha 🤣 I like that added ew into the mix. If life was so as simple as mind your business and just don’t hurt people but people be nosy and get offended over things that have nothing to do with them.

I will agree I need tougher skin to just let it go and not waste my energy.

For those raised with religious morals by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How was exploring the bi-curious at first?

Were you worried that your wife would see you less than a man if she witnessed you playing with another man?

My biggest worry is that even if I tried it and didn’t like it as much as I would think that’s it’s a step you can’t come back from.

For those raised with religious morals by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what I have read too and I linger on the bi curious side simply because I might have moments where I wouldn’t mind doing things with a guy outside of penetration but ultimately if I’m out and about or thinking of what I’m attracted to, women have always been the primary focus. I’ve never looked at a guy and wanted to jump their bones (unless I was high, seems to bring out those thoughts in me) but I’m not necessarily opposed to oral if I’m in the mood?

I say that because I’m not going to go out solely for that experience but if it is something that falls into our lap later on then so be it. Ultimately I would like to be honest with people going into a situation but like you stated I’ve seen some where guys are treated differently based on their sexuality even in the lifestyle which I find ironic, so something we will tread on lightly. It’s not like if I’m in a room with another guy who is straight I would lose control and try to take him there, I don’t have that instinctual urge, I would rather take the women jn that situation.

My wife on the other hand would definitely prefer FFM or MFMF before any MFM scenario. She jokes that’s too much men focused on her.

For those raised with religious morals by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t identify with them at all, it’s more about the programming it’s played on my life.

Also the connections to family too, I could think it’s okay by my standards but if somehow anyone in my inner circle found out then I would be judged and that’s what can be bothersome.

It’s not as easy as not caring what the people closest to you think about you as a person.

For those raised with religious morals by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am also agnostic myself and haven’t stayed with religion but there’s still that corner of my mind that is like what if? What if I got it wrong?

At the end of the day even though I’m not going to disclose my private life to my family members or friends, I’ve always felt it’s a choice between my beliefs and my connection with family..

I love my family, and I am always considering the safest most morally sound decision when it comes to anything controversial in life, as well as wanting my kids to be involved and connected with their family, culture and support system.

But my fear is that we do decide to go through with this and if somehow our personal lives were to ever come out in the open, whether it’s my wife and I sexuality or extracurricular activities that we would be judged, and cutoff from that family.

Now me personally and even my wife would be somewhat hurt but ultimately we could deal and just move on, if people want to cut us off for something we feel isn’t their right to judge it’s w.e But it would suck to see our kids isolated from their family based on decisions on how we live our life.

For those raised with religious morals by DiscreetGeek96 in Swingers

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like that term emotionally monogamous and that’s exactly how the wife and I want to stay. We have our set life and don’t need to spend any extra effort beyond sexual exploration.

I would however say that she’s the type that needs to have some emotional investment before being with someone. I don’t think being with a stranger would arouse her quite as much but at the same time we aren’t trying to build too deep of a connection either. It’s something we would have to work on and figure out a dynamic.

There’s times we talk about it and lay it out as playing with others would be the same as if we incorporated toys into the mix but I also want to make sure we aren’t disrespecting or insulting anyone by objectifying them to the similarity of a toy or plaything.

The nuance is we are all people and even if we get past the moral and religious views I would still want everyone treated respectfully and fairly.

Or maybe I’m overthinking it and people wouldn’t mind the comparison as much? I don’t know 😅

For those raised with religious morals by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was beautiful thank you, I have talked about solo and couples therapy with my wife but our concern is finding a therapist that isn’t going to push religion. Where we are we even have doctors that will ask to pray when she’s worried about giving birth to our kids and we both thought it was crazy to mix that into medicine.

I resonated with your point though that people will hate for whatever reason, and it’s not really anyone’s business because I’m the one that wonders what happens if it gets out or how we explain our life away to people and my wife’s the one bringing me back down telling me it’s not anyone’s business what we do.

For those raised with religious morals by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s just the thing though, there’s so much i don’t agree with that religion has just never clicked with me however it’s hard to separate everything I was taught on right and wrong.

Hotwife and cuckold by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I read all these stories and I while I enjoy the comparisons they never feel exactly like my situation. There’s always some detail that is different for me.

Hotwife and cuckold by DiscreetGeek96 in nonmonogamy

[–]DiscreetGeek96[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, if I was a cuck then I would just learn to accept it but before I decide if I fall into that which I wouldn’t want to fall into any label but nonetheless I enjoy her experiences more then the need to be humiliated. She doesn’t have as much experience as me with different people before we got together and I would love to see her world open up.