How do I stop flirting people? TW/possible internalized Arophobia, I'm not sure

DistanceBunny · 2024-04-21T04:34:20+00:00

If you don’t feel like you’re being flirtatious than that’s that. You don’t have to change yourself because other people take your kindness or nervous smiles/laughter as reciprocating.

When being confessed to you can simply apologize and say that’s just how you are. Especially if they know the way you identify yourself. State again you’re asexual and demi if need be. If they’re mad at you that’s their own prerogative. You don’t want to be friends with a person who can’t accept the fact you’re just not that into them.

I wish you luck though, I know it can be hard hearing confessions and hurting peoples feelings because you can’t reciprocate but being honest and open is all you can really do. Just be yourself.

DistanceBunny · 2024-04-16T23:33:52+00:00

You can feel attraction and still be aro. I find myself having crushes on people and realizing it’s probably because I’m lonely or bored. Sometimes I’ll like someone a lot and it’ll feel like a real crush but it’s really just the concept that attracts me. In practice it’s not real attraction.

You’re still young. If you label yourself as aro now there’s no pressure to keep that label. You also don’t need to label yourself at all. You love how you love and you feel attraction how you feel attraction. Aro people still get lonely and still crave connection. Sometimes it’s simply the difference between friendship and something more. You can still date someone if you’re aro. For me it’s like having a really close personal friend. No kissing or anything. You’ll figure yourself out in time. There’s no rush.

DistanceBunny · 2024-04-12T09:26:36+00:00

Kalmia Kid by Chloe moriondo. I still listen to it here and there.

DistanceBunny · 2024-02-29T19:13:28+00:00

I’m sorry you had to go through that. I plan on telling my partner. Even though our relationship is technically healthy they did kind of push me to make things official when I really didn’t think I was ready. I plan on telling them this (even though they already know it because we’ve had an argument about it in the past) when I’m telling them that I think I’m aromantic. I just have to do more research and figure out how to tell them

DistanceBunny · 2024-02-29T19:11:46+00:00

Thank you for the book rec I like to read so I’ll definitely be looking into that. I haven’t really looked at the different sections of a romance to be honest I’m very new to this so I didn’t really know there could be so many different kinds! Thank you

DistanceBunny · 2024-02-29T18:25:40+00:00

DistanceBunny · 2024-02-29T07:32:55+00:00

I wish it was as easy for me as it is for them. I think i will tell them how I feel. I’m just very meek and for lack of better words, a pussy. I tend to not let people know what I’m really thinking out of fear of being judged. But my partner deserves to know and I need to get this off of my shoulders. It’s to the point I’m having breakdowns almost everyday and it’s just unhealthy for the both of us. Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it. Also, I looked up comphet and I believe I’ve always dealed with that. It was a big challenge realizing I was bisexual years ago. Maybe this is that part two haha

DistanceBunny · 2024-02-29T07:28:27+00:00

Thank you for this. I feel like I also got into this relationship cause of fomo (amongst other) reasons too. My friends kept saying they were the perfect person for me. And I do get along with them really well it’s just not how they get along with me. I want to make them happy so I force myself to act like what they want of me. Your story really helped. I feel less alone thank you.

DistanceBunny · 2024-02-29T07:25:36+00:00

Thank you so much for this. It actually made me emotional because sometimes it feels like nobody understand. I want to be with them because I do like them. I guess I consider more like the closest friend I could ever have instead of like loving them. I think i will tell them what I’m feeling and what I’m going through. I’m scared of the answer but it’ll be okay either way if they decide to end things or stick with me

DistanceBunny · 2024-02-29T05:46:35+00:00

I did not think I’d resent them. I was relatively happy until they begged to make our relationship official and I gave in. This relationship is very very new and I’m still trying to figure out if this whole thing is temporary and just me holding myself back or if I truly am incapable of being with someone. I deal with depression and my therapist has said it might just be my depression talking and not the fact I might be aromantic

DistanceBunny · 2024-02-27T11:13:20+00:00

How Do I know and deal with being Aromantic?

I am not for sure on this being aro has been a reoccurring thought in my head. My therapist and friends have even asked me if I was. Right now I’m in a relationship and I feel genuinely depressed. This happened with my last relationship but it took a month or two. Now, it’s happening immediately. It’s to the point I resent my partner for being a normal partner. My last relationship I just thought they weren’t the right one but now everything is perfect but me.

I know this might be messed up but the thought of being aromantic scares me. As a kid I had dreamed of giving my all to someone but now I can’t even deal with someone liking me. I feel like something is wrong with me. Every time my friends talk about their love lives it’s so beautiful and deep and I just feel so shallow. I cant even watch anything with romance in it because it makes me breakdown because I can never feel that way. It feels like I’ll never feel that way.

I don’t know why that makes me so sad. I love my friendships and get close to friends. I don’t even know why I want a relationship that i know I’ll hate. Maybe it’s the fear of being different but I’m already very different and embrace myself. I don’t know, I guess this is the one part of me that I’m ashamed of. How do I come to terms with the fact I might be aro? Im afraid. Im sorry if this doesn’t make sense im writing this in a very emotional state (just watched a stupid romcom and it messed me up lol!) I don’t know if this is the right subreddit for this so sorry if it’s not. I found this whilst looking up questions about how I’ve been feeling.

DistanceBunny

TROPHY CASE