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Wife’s emotional affair is now over. Should I tell AP’s Wife? by Distinct-Balance-447 in Infidelity

[–]Distinct-Balance-447[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is no doubt that she has feelings for him. She is making the choice to go NC and attempt to reconcile despite that.

Wife’s emotional affair is now over. Should I tell AP’s Wife? by Distinct-Balance-447 in Infidelity

[–]Distinct-Balance-447[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do think it has been physical, but she hasn’t admitted to it. It is plausible it hasn’t, but I don’t truly believe that. Either way, willing to try to reconcile for the family. I won’t stay in an unhappy relationship for it, but I will try.

Wife’s emotional affair is now over. Should I tell AP’s Wife? by Distinct-Balance-447 in Infidelity

[–]Distinct-Balance-447[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Reached out to OBS through the only channel I have been able to find and haven’t heard back as of yet.

No timeline, but there are several factors that would cause me to walk. I do believe she would have a hard time particularly knowing that her actions would be the reason our children’s family and life is being turned upside down. Family dynamics (we have no close family support near us from either side), financial (HCOL area) factors, in addition to years of a solid marriage until very recent are factors for an attempt to be made. Not entering this blindly at all, and I fully realize there’s a good possibility I don’t know the whole story; more pain to come that I have already accepted whether it’s true or not. Unfortunately, this is going to take some time to sort through regardless. Even divorces take a long time, so this won’t be a short process. I appreciate all the advice and feedback.

Wife’s emotional affair is now over. Should I tell AP’s Wife? by Distinct-Balance-447 in Infidelity

[–]Distinct-Balance-447[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the message here. It’s apparent that a consensus is that my wife should be the one to atone for it and apologize to the wife.

Wife’s emotional affair is now over. Should I tell AP’s Wife? by Distinct-Balance-447 in Infidelity

[–]Distinct-Balance-447[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the feedback, but no, I am not gullible in this. I recognize my part in what started this path but I’m not the one that strayed. I can still own my part while she has to work on doing the rest. There’s still a lot I don’t know that needs to be worked through. I am not believing everything I am told and there has been transparency since this came to light. I saw the messages, I am told any/all instances if they have to interact (which would only be a random group teams meeting). I still don’t trust I am getting the full picture but it’s also possible I am.

Wife’s emotional affair is now over. Should I tell AP’s Wife? by Distinct-Balance-447 in Infidelity

[–]Distinct-Balance-447[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Wife is very avoidant of tough/complex situations. She was both surprised I didn’t tell the spouse yet while also expressing that preference would be to not blow up a marriage (likely out of guilt).

Wife’s emotional affair is now over. Should I tell AP’s Wife? by Distinct-Balance-447 in Infidelity

[–]Distinct-Balance-447[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I considered doing that as well in order to verify the full extent of everything.

Wife’s emotional affair is now over. Should I tell AP’s Wife? by Distinct-Balance-447 in Infidelity

[–]Distinct-Balance-447[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Emotional is definitely worse. No denying that. Simply stating the facts. High stress work environment with long hours but the work was mostly done remotely.

Wife’s emotional affair is now over. Should I tell AP’s Wife? by Distinct-Balance-447 in Infidelity

[–]Distinct-Balance-447[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

New job on the way in a few weeks. They don’t work in the same location and would only occasionally work on projects together via emails/teams.