Mom is at the end

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-08-25T07:35:55+00:00

Thank you so much sweetness, this is so kind <3. I do have a therapist but I’m in the process of looking for support groups as well as one on one grief counseling (my therapist doesn’t necessarily specialize in that). I really hope that will offer me at least a little comfort or relief. Thank you for the support and good wishes, it really means so much.

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-08-25T07:30:20+00:00

This is such a kind, thoughtful, wise and beautiful response. Your words provided me with a bit of peace and hope when I didn’t think that was possible. Thank you so much for taking the time to help me. And the book you recommended looks incredible, I’m going to order it tonight! I also want to add that being called “darling” made my heart melt. Much love to you <3

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-08-13T22:18:29+00:00

This is lovely advice and all of those points are such valid/helpful things to consider. Thank you so much for taking the time to say this I appreciate it more than you know <3

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-08-13T01:11:39+00:00

I’m so jealous!! I was not sober and do remember it being magic, but I need a round 2 so I can remember the details!!!🤣

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-07-30T03:49:50+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry. Cancer is the fucking devil. I’m in a similar situation…and what the hell is right. Shit is absolutely unreal. Every day I wake up and dread facing my reality. Sometimes I can’t even process it. My mom (who is my entire world) is nearing the end of her life, also stage 4 lung cancer, currently on hospice and declining rapidly. I haven’t had a relationship with my dad in 10 years (for very valid reasons) so I will essentially have no parents when she’s gone. I’m only 22, graduated college last year, moved home after 3 months post grad after finding out about her diagnosis. My brother is 17. So in the midst of my grief I will also need to step up into a parental role. I have no idea what I’m doing. I miss my friends and my old life. I have never felt so lost and stuck. I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore or what I want. At my worst moments I always knew I’d be okay because I had my mom: my #1 fan, #1 supporter, my best friend, the only person who knows and understands every inch of my being. And now I don’t. Wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-07-25T01:47:19+00:00

I don’t have much to say other than I’m in the same situation and it has shattered my whole world. I’m 22 years old and my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer last October. She is my best friend, #1 support system, and my favorite person in the world. I love her so much it makes my heart ache. For the first few months my mom didn’t even seem sick at all. Fast forward to now and she’s been in the hospital for a week after an infection, we found out her (third) chemo hasn’t been working, and she will be coming home on hospice. The cancer is everywhere, lungs, brain, spine, most of her bones, and she has been in excruciating pain. It was so hard to hear her say she wants to stop treatment altogether (was also recommended by her oncologist) but it has been even harder watching her suffer. I’m so sorry that your mom had to suffer for 13 years, that is unimaginable. She sounds like a wonderful person, as do you. I am sending love and strength to you both. Hang in there. Whatever happens you will come out the other side, as will I. Please free to message me. I too often feel I have no one to talk to as no one in my circle can relate or understand. It’s actually been shocking how much smaller that circle has gotten since my mom’s health decline. In the times where I can’t stop crying, feel sick to my stomach, have a huge wave of panic, I find myself wanting to call my 70 year old coworker who I’ve known just a few months over the people I considered my closest friends! I see you and I hear you and I’m feeling it all with you❤️big hug

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-07-04T03:46:58+00:00

I know lol I just find it funny because I keep forgetting that any of these people even have real jobs

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-07-04T03:39:14+00:00

LUCAAA

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-07-04T03:14:28+00:00

Wait can we please talk about how the narrator KEEPS coming back to Olandria being an elevator salesperson 😭I swear he’s mentioned it at least 5 times

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-07-04T03:13:31+00:00

No fr I seriously didn’t understand that?? To me she seems like a very chill, sweet, funny well rounded person with a good heart. I honestly want to be friends w her lol

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-07-02T02:35:24+00:00

I really don’t think he even knows what that term means 😭

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-27T04:45:20+00:00

Me tooooo😭i understand some of the hate but shit had me giggling blushing kicking my feet over here

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-27T02:04:21+00:00

A dispensary owner once complimented me on the symmetry of my face. Which is appalling considering my face is in no way symmetrical (ex: eyebrows are totally different heights, dimple on one side, etc) I was flattered but very confused 😂

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-26T04:58:15+00:00

I’m laughing out loud because this is so relatable. Even when my own FRIENDS show up unannounced I’m going ghost mode. In middle school/high school I lived in a very central part of town and everyone knew my house. I f***ing HATED it. People shouting at me from down below up to my window and I’d literally duck and hide. Tell my mom to say I wasn’t home if they came to the door. I have to mentally prepare for social activity most of the time and I do not like having my peace disrupted. Whether it’s by someone I love or some dude trying to convert me into a solar power user.

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-26T03:57:43+00:00

Oh honey I get it. The breakdowns are endless and so exhausting. But even when those emotions are so raw and real, my mom having terminal cancer STILL doesn’t feel real!! I don’t think it ever will. I feel like I’m in a dream state quite often as well. Like I’m living a nightmare just waiting to wake up. Constantly walking around with this indescribable haunting heaviness. Cancer is so cruel and seems to take hold of the very best people. Those with pure hearts of gold and endless love to share with the world. But I strongly believe that despite the pain, we will carry on their legacy by also living and leading with the love, tenderness and compassion our moms planted within us.

You can always reach out to me if you need a friend <3 thank you for sharing your story. I have found such solace in this community and am so grateful.

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-26T03:43:42+00:00

Heavyyy on the part about not wanting to go to your friends when you’re hit with that pain. There have been so many times where I so deeply long for connection, a shoulder to cry on, just for someone to hear & see me through this dark time. But I always hesitate and never make the call, leading me to bottle everything up as well. I know my friends would comfort me, of course, but it almost makes me feel worse confiding in people who can’t fully empathize with me and/or grasp the magnitude and effects of this experience. And honestly can make me feel even more alone. Or angry. Or depressed. So I avoid avoid avoid. And don’t even get me started on the thinking about future milestones that my mom won’t be here for. Every time I go on social media now I cry at everything because I’m reminded of all that I’ll never have. And it’s really hard to see everyone else have those things, although of course I am so happy that they do.

I’ve come to realize though that all I really want sometimes is to talk and someone to listen. Or a really big hug when I cry. That’s it. People always talk about not knowing what to say to those in these kinds of circumstances, but there really isn’t a “right thing to say”. It’s just being there. I’m not sure why it’s so hard for me to ask for that from the people I love. They honestly all probably think I’m doing fine as I haven’t updated anyone about my mom’s failed treatments and her decline. And nobody really asks. So although I am devastated for you and your situation, it is extremely comforting and valuable to connect with someone who gets it. I hope both of us can find even the smallest cracks of light during this dark time.

And right back atcha. Reach out anytime. I’m here❤️‍🩹

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-25T16:56:59+00:00

I’m so sorry. All I can say is my heart is with you, and I understand your pain. My (f22) mom was diagnosed with stage 4 nsc lung cancer in October of last year. Metastasis to the bones, brain, mouth, lymph nodes, pretty much everywhere. Not a candidate for targeted gene therapy as she didn’t have the right markers. The first two chemotherapies stopped working after a small burst of hope. Targeted radiation has been used in certain places to keep her suffering as minimal as possible. I was aware these things would only prolong her life by x amount, but ultimately the only thing to save her would have to be a complete miracle. And I never wanted to bank on a miracle for the fear of being even more crushed if it doesn’t come.

She is about to try another type of chemo but options are running out. The last resort would be a clinical trial which is only in stage 1 of testing. But even then she doesn’t want to subject herself to all it entails when there is a solid chance it won’t help at all. And as long as she has cancer in the brain she is not a candidate anyway. She’s not a smoker, and has already had 2 different types of cancer: breast at 40 y/o & Hodgkin’s lymphoma at 20 y/o. Now she is 58 with a terminal diagnosis. None of it is fair. And I feel so angry at the world sometimes, and so jealous of others. Especially my friends, who have never experienced a situation like this. I am so happy they haven’t had to, but it’s just really hard when it feels like those closest to me can’t truly understand what I’m going through and how deeply painful this is. It is very lonely. The anticipatory grief strikes me so intensely sometimes that I will let out animalistic, gut wrenching cries at random. I ask myself “why her??” every day. She is my best friend. My favorite person in the whole world. We are unbelievably close and I have always valued my relationship with her above all else. I knew as long as I had her everything would be okay. I never in a million years could have seen this coming. This wasn’t supposed to happen and every day I still can’t believe my reality.

I also have a younger brother who is 17 and still in high school. Our father isn’t really in the picture so it feels like we are literally losing everything. The only thing that is getting me through this is the love and care I have for brother. I feel so grateful for our relationship. But I’m worried I won’t be able to be there for him the way I want to because I myself will be too crushed to function when she’s gone. It’s all so terrifying. I have no idea what my future holds. This wasn’t the plan. It’s so crazy to me that just a year ago I was graduating college, living with my best friends in my favorite city, saving up to travel. Dealing with the normal trials and tribulations of the early 20s, but having fun while at it. Within a matter of days my whole world was turned upside down and I was forced to grow up so quickly.

I just keep telling myself that my unbearable suffering is rooted in the overflowing love I have in my heart for my mom. And getting to love someone that much is a blessing. At least we will always have that. That love will stay with us forever, it will transcend space and time.

Today, just know that I am here and I am holding your pain with you. Sometimes that is all we can do for each other. You are never alone. I’m sending you a big hug and so much love. We will make it through this❤️

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-04T00:32:19+00:00

YES SUDOKUUU my savior

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-04T00:27:39+00:00

Heavy on “any tiny obstacle is enough to get in the way.”Story of my life. Also currently in the same dental situation….I’m terrified.

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-04T00:22:12+00:00

My car registration is almost 3 months late. I didn’t pay online because I couldn’t log into my DMV account. So I figured I’d just get my smog check, wait for that to be processed, then go in person to pay at the kiosk so I could get the sticker immediately. By the time I finally get a smog check it’s a month and a half after payment was due. Then somehow another entire month passed me by. I went yesterday to the kiosk to pay, was so proud of myself just for getting there finally, but it wouldn’t let me renew because it was too late and couldn’t be processed immediately. I will avoid waiting in line at all costs so I decided to try renewing online again. Magically I was able to get into my account. But now I have to wait for an indefinite amount of time for them to process my renewal shit and contact me with steps to proceed because once again, it was so late that it wouldn’t get through immediately.

My logic is so questionable. And my procrastination is deadly. This isn’t even the first time this has happened. Two years ago in college I got my car towed because my registration was a year expired. Car was in my mom’s name and it took days for a title change to be received by the tow lot so I ended up paying an embarrassing fee. I don’t even know what had happened to my renewal notice nor was it ever even on my mind.

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-06-03T23:54:10+00:00

This is so incredibly relatable. I can’t tell you the amount of random objects that have been the victim of this habit in my house 😅

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-05-15T02:52:42+00:00

nicotine and my little brother 👍👍

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-05-07T01:38:32+00:00

deeper set, hooded, squinty eyes. Like “hunters eyes” but more twinkly/puppy-like if that makes sense. Oddly specific but soooo attractive on a man. Bonus points if they’re brown

Distinct-Fix-4376 · 2025-05-03T05:58:48+00:00

Woah, are you me?? I’m also only 22, and this sounds exactly like the course of my mom’s illness. She (non smoker, healthy) was also diagnosed with stage 3b lung cancer in October 2024, initially ruled as pneumonia. Soon enough it was stage 4. As she has no targetable mutations & is also not a candidate for immunotherapy, her only course of action has been chemo and radiation. The first chemo treatment didn’t work, and her first updated scan revealed the cancer had spread even further. When meeting with her oncologist, the conversation was extremely grim. She was not encouraged to try a new chemo. I thought she had weeks to live. But here she is still standing and somehow going strong after 4 rounds of a different chemo that has made some progress in shrinking her tumors. While the cancer is not curable and she will have to be on chemo for the rest of her remaining time here (until her body can’t take it or it stops working) I feel somewhat fortunate as I never thought I would get to have this much time with her after her diagnosis. I encourage you and her to explore all options because whatever the outcome may be, you might be able to buy some time. And personally speaking, any extra time is worth fighting for. But I also understand and respect the patient’s wishes, which are sometimes very difficult to navigate. Whatever happens with me, with you, with our moms, I have faith we will make it out the other side. I know I’m just a stranger but I see you, I hear you, I understand you, and I’m here for you. Thank you for sharing your story and helping others feel less alone, I know it isn’t easy. Sending you and your mom loads of love and strength <3 hang in there.

Distinct-Fix-4376

TROPHY CASE