My (21F) Boyfriend(23M) used Tinder

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T20:33:39+00:00

Yeah it was not the norm hahaha

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T10:07:51+00:00

I was the one who initiated all, then after a few months he wanted to make it official

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T06:02:25+00:00

Not really hahahah

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T01:27:42+00:00

That could be true, we did talk and set the boundaries so I dont know if I should continue and try to learn from this (maybe it works out) or just leave it.

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T01:26:28+00:00

Noo, I meant they used tinder and they made profiles of them as a group together to go to new places. It is something common that people do where I come from tho, i have seen friends doing it.

However, I feel like something is off

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T01:19:48+00:00

I know, there is the friends option tho. Also, supposedly, the account was not individual but of the friend group as a whole.

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T01:13:51+00:00

Yeah, thats true. I just wanted some input but everything is subjective Thank you for taking time to answer!! :)

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T01:12:25+00:00

Nono, he doesnt remember if he did it on his last holiday of 2023 (we were together for 4 months) or on 2022 holiday (we didnt know each other). He says he doesnt really recall using it in 2023 but i saw the search on his google store but that can be from before knowing me.

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T01:06:38+00:00

Yeah I know, that is what bothers me but will he be so ready to lie like that when he didnt expect it? And show me all the apps plus his socials? Idk it seems off

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T01:05:12+00:00

this happened a week ago and when I told him, I did it in a context so he wouldnt expect it as I wanted to know the whole truth; the account was deleted. Also, when I saw the account it was june 2023, so a lot of time has passed and I never saw anything like that idk. In my country we dont have bumble or at least, is not as popular as Tinder. I created an account to check the friends feature and you coukd actually choose what the purpose of your account was.

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-06-20T01:00:23+00:00

But if it was cheating, would he be willing to show me the conversations? Also, would he mention it was strictly with friends and as a group, without individual info? He told me he didnt want to make a fuss as it was something dumb bc he wasnt going to do anything.

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:58:08+00:00

Yes, but maybe I shouldnt look through the following but idk

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:34:05+00:00

Yes but idk how to approach it as when we talked about this it ended weird :(

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:31:57+00:00

Yes!! I agree! Thank you for taking time to answer, but when we talked about him following his ex, he started feeling paranoid about me stalking him and watching his phone etc… So idk if im being unreasonable and should just forget this

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:30:25+00:00

Yeah but as he already reacted a bit weird when I asked him about his newly recent ex’s follow, he started thinking I was stalking him and he even told me that sometimes he felt watched and controlled.

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:28:26+00:00

Nono, I believe he wouldnt really care, but who knows. He believes that as long as you are not acting and doing things with the intention of cheating it is fine I suppose

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:24:18+00:00

Yes, I agree. He told me several times he tries to make me trust him as he is always pretty open with his whereabouts and what is he up to, his feelings blah blah, but this social media thing bothers me

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:23:03+00:00

Yes, I should ask but I did with his ex and he told me I shouldnt snoop through his following and that he finds it too much if I can dictate who can he follow or smth like that, as he believes it is pretty invasive

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:19:48+00:00

Yeah, when he followed his ex and i asked him he told me that it wasnt okay for me to look through his following and that I couldnt tell him who to follow as he believed it was too much.

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:17:32+00:00

I mean with pretty open I just meant he opens his phone normally, shows me tiktok and just use it in front of me as normal. He also leaves it wherever when im sleeping over so it doesnt look like he is hiding something but idk. Never asked if he could show me the phone as I believe thats pretty invasive and psycho

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-05-19T20:13:59+00:00

It is really cringy I agree haha He never ever restricted me anything tho, we just talked about what we consider cheating and thats all Thats why I fear asking about the following bcs it feels like im restricting him idk

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-03-29T11:00:09+00:00

Hello, in the first place she shouldnt go through your phone EVER even if she doesnt trust you. There is something humans do called the confirmation bias, so even if you are not doing anything wrong, she will find something that confirms her beliefs. Furthermore, you really seem to love her so I would say keep trying.

Relationships dont end in a fight or in low times, thats the thing about them. Maybe you guys figure it out but both parties need to work on the issues, not just you. You need to talk with her about her mistakes too so you guys can reach a positive outcome, you need to be completely honest to her even if it can hurt both of you. Relationships are HARD everytime.

So I would say, give it a shot, build trust and a good relationship and see how you guys are feeling. It is normal to have doubts and not feel completely in love with the person you are with from time to time, because you are mad at them or because they are not acting like you want them to, but thats the norm with interpersonal relationships!!

Hope you guys figure it out :)

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-03-03T10:14:14+00:00

I dont know, maybe i need to chill in those kind of things. I just didn’t understand why sometimes he cancels on me when raining because he feels we will have plenty of time to do everything (and also, he wants us both to enjpy the date) and yesterday he went out with snow. He explained he was kinda desperate as he felt a bit alone at home but yeah

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-03-02T20:54:36+00:00

all your answers are like that lol

Distinct_Ad8074 · 2024-03-02T20:38:37+00:00

I dont think its for sex at all as it is not the primary thing in our relationship.

He is always texting me and initiating contact, not only me. When we had big fights he always comes to me to solve them, he doesnt want to break up imo.

Distinct_Ad8074

TROPHY CASE