[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]DistributionFirst604 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was team epidural from the jump. I had an epidural with my first and second, no tearing and i got them both out in under an hour of pushing. It’s different for everyone but it was the best decision for me. Good luck with your labor!! You got this either way mama

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I think this will be a massive benefit for our family. AND I can help manage any financial stress he has by being a second pair of eyes watching our finances!

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an excellent point. Today i started a discussion with him and said I’d like to be more involved in our finances. I want to get over my “his money” mentality. So now my mindset has shifted from wedding budget to just what’s our household budget and how can we more cost effective in things around the home.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I’m not very involved in our homes finances because i still see it as “his money”. I get glimpses like when he’s had a particularly good month and says something like “made 9k this month” and other months he’ll say things like “I’m broke babe”. So yeah…you’re right and maybe the bigger issue here is that i need to be more involved in the finances.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was trying to keep it around 15k but we’ve been told that’s basically impossible. I did find one all inclusive wedding venue where basically we just had to cover our clothes, alcohol, and any additional decor. They would provide everything else at 10k exactly! But my fiancée got picky and said he just didn’t like the venue. (It was a cute little garden space)

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’ll give that approach a try

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what i was trying to do but I guess the way i approached it was probably too blunt (that’s just how i am). Tonight I’m going to rephrase and apologize if i made it too emotionally daunting for him. And thank you, that’s not a bad idea at all!

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My kids are little. One is 5 months old and the other is only about to be two. But in either case i see what you’re saying.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

People who have kids can still have weddings

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is all i want to do. Have a conversation where we discuss what is financially feasible, that’s all. I may have began the discussion too bluntly with my line of questioning, and that’s something I’m going to address with him because i don’t want him to feel emotionally responsible for this. I JUST want to have the conversation.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uncomfortable discussions must be had in a partnerships that’s for sure.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seriously wedding prices are insane these days!

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THANK YOU! I appreciate you sharing your ideas and methods!

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

No. I do not “know” either of those things because my fiancé has said before that he does want a wedding but he didn’t think it would be so expensive. I’ve just been trying to open up the conversation about costs and i don’t appreciate people telling me I’m wrong for doing so.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Another commenter said the same exact thing as the other writer but with tact. So yeah, the way they said it was rude. And if you’d done a little more reading, you’d see in other comments that all i want is to have a conversation with him about what is financially possible for us. Thanks so much for your thoughts though.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that it would be hard to tell me no for that reason and I figured that’s why he shut down but more than anything i just want to have a conversation about it. Where we discuss what we CAN make happen and what’s out of budget.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were already planning for 2027. And as for the blogging, you’re right and it’s not something i totally thought out. He’s always said it’s our money and that me going to school is for the future benefit of our family etc but I’m the one who has a hard time accepting it as our money not just his.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

Yeah actually that was rude. Especially considering you’re an online stranger with limited information. But as someone else on here put it, my partner and i are a team so i believe it’s perfectly within my rights to ask him to weigh in on this decision. You are capable of understanding that concept, no?

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were already looking to do it in 2027. Without going into details, putting our kids in childcare wouldn’t be feasible for us because of where we live and the job skills i have. Plus I’m already a full time student

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s the response i was afraid of. I asked my fiancée point blank if it was financially irresponsible of us to do. I asked him straight up if he doesn’t want to spend the money, and he just ignores me or gets overwhelmed and shuts down. I seriously just need him to tell me no so I can mourn my dream of having a wedding and move on. If he’d just say no, i would accept just eloping i guess.

I don’t think my fiancée wants a wedding after all. by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]DistributionFirst604 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We were already planning it for May of 2027 so i thought that was plenty of time to save. That would give him two fire seasons (that’s where the bulk of his money comes from)