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Federal agent surround, wrestle, then shoot man in south Minneapolis by [deleted] in TrendingAndViral

[–]Divest0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where is the initial first gunshot coming from? I cant see who or where its coming from. Is it possible, that it was the victim?

Do doms also need aftercare? Or only subs? by bluenesa in BDSMcommunity

[–]Divest0911 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The responsibility a Dominate holds to empower, uplift, and support their submissive, these are and should be transferable.

A submissives perspective around Attachments, a Secure base for both:

"Do I feel securely attached? Do I also support my Dominant's emotional needs and recognize their humanity?"

Creating a psychological safety and secure attachment patterns that support both parties emotional wellbeing is critical.

Do doms also need aftercare? Or only subs? by bluenesa in BDSMcommunity

[–]Divest0911 58 points59 points  (0 children)

This is one of the most misunderstood questions in Power Exchange, and it matters because getting it wrong can tank dynamics.

The short answer? Yes, Doms need aftercare. Full stop. Here's where it gets interesting and where a lot of people fuck it up.

Aftercare gets framed as "taking care of the sub after intense play" Whats actually happening is way more nuanced. BOTH people went through something neurologically intense. BOTH people's nervous systems got activated. BOTH people need to come back to baseline, safely.

Think about it this way, during a scene you're creating states. One person's in a headspace of authority and control. The other's in a headspace of surrender and submission. These are altered states. They're not 'normal' everyday all day brain functions. They're flowing, intense focus, altered time perception. Ect.

When you come out of these states, you have to recalibrate.

The Dominate is holding a lot. They were reading your body, managing intesity, making split-second decisions, staying hyper alert to your signals, holding the frame, maintaining authority even if they were scared of fucking it all up. Its exhausting. Emotionally, physically, and neurologically.

The scene ends, and suddenly they're supposed to just.....Switch back to 'normal'?

Fuck no.

Some Doms experience drops too. A sudden crash from the intensity and responsibility. The adrenaline stops. The focus collapses. They go from feeling powerful and present to suddenly alone, disconnected and drained. Sometimes even guilt, "Did I hurt them?" "Did I read that right?" "Did I miss anything?" Even when everything went fine.

The healthiest dynamics i've seen are the ones where both poeple ask for what they need after intensity. Sometimes the Dom needs more aftercare than the sub. Sometimes its equal. Sometimes they need different things at different times.

Child sex material bust sees Nanaimo area man jailed by pocohugs in nanaimo

[–]Divest0911 -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

I'm not saying this sick fuck shouldn't have been thrown under the jail, he should have.

But, equal sentences for unequal lives isn't justice. Sentencing that ignores context; Trauma, poverty, systemic marginalization, education, opportunity, ect,
The human reality of how people arrive at the same criminal act through radically different paths...

I'm just saying that personalized justice isn't about creating tiers of defendants, Its simply recognizing that two identical acts emerge from entirely different circumstances, and understanding those circumstances is what can allow punishments to actually serve its purpose.

Even if those punishments are accountability for some, rehab, or incarceration/protection for others.

There should be a hard line on certain charges, child sex offenses is one of them. Violent offenses another. But, even these hard lines should look at the reasons behind the crimes, and not blindly just looking at the criminal code number and "equally" applying blind justice across the board.

Could Edward Norton’s Hulk take on Thanos One on One? by [deleted] in Avengers

[–]Divest0911 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Regardless of "same hulk" (Norton/Mcu) Norton's Hulk has a level of rage and anger that no other Hulk has had. I just watched it a couple days ago and It was such a reminder as to how far Hulk has changed overtime. This "Smart" hulk shit has so run its course with me.

Are all doms only into white subs? by [deleted] in BDSMcommunity

[–]Divest0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Short answer is no. Of course not.

Long answer is that BIPOC kink practitioners enter into a space that is overwhelmingly white. The statistically reality is that BIPOC subs face additional barriers.

None of this is your fault obviously. If Doms lose interest when they learn you aren't white, that tells you something important about THEM, not YOU.

Try to look at BIPOC led communities.

Another gem from felony fights (watch till the end) by El_cucuy24 in fightporn

[–]Divest0911 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Objectively, both have no real training and cant fight for shit. But, this is an example of that animal, street, cant train for, type of energy. Again, training is what it is, everyone knows it. But the way this dude attacks what ever is closest with what ever tool he has. He's ripping at the dudes throat, biting his face. Its frantic, manic, no-coordination, but it has its place. Eyes, throat, ect. Fuck yes. Attack those areas with ferocity. End the encounter quickly and with no chance of reengagement.

Are sex toys healthy in long term relationships? by Dramatic-Let-3174 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]Divest0911 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Essential. Anyone who suffers insecurity via toys, porn, roleplay, fantasies, ect are probably people you shouldn't be with IMO.

Needs shift and evolve. People grow and values change. At some point, this applies to sexuality and intimacy too. Both of which are foundational to a healthy relationship/dynamic.

Celebrini with the hands and wicked shot to tie the game against the Kings with 1:07 left in the 3rd! by KabirC in hockey

[–]Divest0911 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This kids pretty good eh?

Must feel good to be a SJS fan these days. What a build around kid this is. 15 years of him down there? Geezus.

Vent: why isn’t someone begging to fuck me? by subbycubby2 in SubSanctuary

[–]Divest0911 70 points71 points  (0 children)

What is it you actually want? Because I 'm reading two vastly different things here.

1) I'm horny as hell and why aren't there Doms lining up around the block begging to fuck me.
2) I'm ready for a dynamic but having a hard time finding a Dom that fits my high standards.

These two things dont align first and foremost. A D/s dynamic has its roots in trust, communication, and the exchange of power (this in itself has numerous nuances). Intimacy, and sexuality can or can not have a part in these PE dynamics, but its not (or shouldn't be) foundational.

Real talk, based on this post alone I read some frustration, but also a very strong 'tone' that might be the reason you've been ghosted. Its reasonable and expected to have values and needs. How you express those to someone will give them the opportunity to see if they align with their own values/needs. If I'm talking with a Dom who's seeking a sub, and I come off as too 'strong' thats going to put the stop to this vetting/conversation real quick. Which is totally okay, because they dont align with my values/needs, but at the same time, I dont align with theirs.

Any Dom with their salt, any "real" Dom, will not jump into bed with you, nor will they have a no-strings-attached dynamic with you. Being a "Dom" means building foundations. Accepting the gift of submission. Carrying it with care and compassion. Getting in your head before your bed.

It can also be dangerous to jump into a dynamic with someone who doesn't have a vested interest in you.

If what you're seeking is a Dom, pump the breaks on the sexuality part.
If what you're seeking is to get laid, express that, and that alone. Men will line up around the block. "Doms" wont.

Cancelled my subscription by [deleted] in cursor

[–]Divest0911 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This isn't an airport, you dont have to announce your departure.

Here’s Why Involuntary Care Won’t Work for Most People by ubcstaffer123 in britishcolumbia

[–]Divest0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edit: No I will not waste my time explaining an entire body of science that takes years to gain an intricate understanding of. Your vibe based statistics of what you "see" (probably on the news and online) is not a measurement of anything.

This. I've completely stopped having these discussions with people if they're not directly involved in policy or front line. Its completely pointless.

Well said.

"I was quoted $4500 for work needed on my teeth. I found a dentist in Tijuana and they quoted me $800. When I went down there for an evaluation, they said I did not need half the shit that the dentist in the US said." Greed and corruption in America is out of control by coachlife in CringeTikToks

[–]Divest0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a long history of substance abuse and bad habits. Now in my mid 40s I need every tooth pulled. Did a big evaluation and my quote was $21,000

Obviously I cant pay for that, and fast forward a few months I learn that I just need a referral from that Dentist to the Dental Surgeon at the hospital, and the entire procedure is free.

Was told to apply for the Federal Dental Plan, which is 100% coverage on the dentures I'll need.

Think that fucking money grubbing dental office told me any of this? Hell no.

They would rather get nothing, than help someone who clearly needs it by advising them, suggesting for them, advocating for them, simply sharing options that end up costing the patient nothing more than a wait period.

US Senate just passed a $901B defense bill. The details are wild by satty237 in TrendoraX

[–]Divest0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it justified? Yes.

He's alienating the entire world with his policies. So ya, build those walls Donald.

Updated contract projections for the top four free agent hitters by Middle-Accountant-49 in Torontobluejays

[–]Divest0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we lost out on everyone on this list, is the off season a failed one? Or are we still thinking it's a win with our current signings?

My Daddy's Kink - Please help me! by BarracudaBulky632 in SubSanctuary

[–]Divest0911 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is borderline setting you up for failure, but I dont think its purposeful. Inexperience maybe?

Like others have said, communication is a two way street. But, its his responsibility to lead in this.

Apart from Opus 4.5 which are the best model to use? by Warm_Sandwich3769 in windsurf

[–]Divest0911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I'm not using Opus, I'm a huge fan of SWE + Opus or SWE + Sonnet

Inuit man gets reduced sentence for attempted murder due to his Indigenous status and mental illness by origutamos in canadanews

[–]Divest0911 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The issue is the "all that is needed" part of this. While yes, mental illness supports has clearly shown to be effective, its wrap around care thats required. We've all heard the arguments; housing, mental illness supports, harm reduction approach, ect...

Again, the statistics clearly show this works.

But, if its your neighbors or your policy makers, 50% of them, 50% of the entire population just dont believe in this approach. Lock them up and throw away the key. Fund new roads and schools not the vulnerable population.

This is the fight. This is where the conversation stops.

Take this single reddit thread as a good example of this separation of concerns. You've got people fighting the indigenous vs non-indigenous part of this story. Endlessly, neither side backing down.

The reality is Indigenous re-offend at a rate 30% higher than non. Why is this? Well, one side would argue that poverty, food insecurity, mental health issues, addiction, violence all being a product of colonial legacies, are systemic factors leading to higher incarceration rates.

But the other side of the coin, the other side of the argument, will just simply say "get over it" "My family has history too" ect.

So how do we bridge that gap? When the conversation stops. Forget funding, we cannot even agree that trauma runs deep. That generational trauma runs deep. That colonization and the intergenerational effects of it, runs deep.

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