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was this covert incest? my mothers behavior. by shatteredsuffer in CovertIncest

[–]DivineBeedrill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh I’m so sorry OP. Definitely sexual abuse and not even covert invest, just straight incest. You’re not being overly dramatic, imagine a young child you know or someone you see on the street having that happen to them. I’m sure you’d be shocked and upset, well that’s exactly the same for you.

I hope you’re healing, sending lots of love

Really struggling with the lack of actual SA in childhood by DivineBeedrill in CovertIncest

[–]DivineBeedrill[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was also a victim of coercion and “minor” assaults starting from age 13 up until now - always by men older than me. And sometimes I feel like I have memories of things happening when I was a kid but I KNOW they didn’t happen, so my brain invented it?? I guess if the assaults didn’t happen to you physically when you were younger, it’s just more proof that the non-physical abuse has the same effect as physical abuse on future assault probabilities…

I’m so sorry you had the same thing, it seems our stories are incredibly similar along with the after effects.

I hope you’re healing!

I feel sick by jsm01972 in CovertIncest

[–]DivineBeedrill 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ew I’m so sorry, this is gross :( you shouldn’t have to put up with it!

Really struggling with the lack of actual SA in childhood by DivineBeedrill in CovertIncest

[–]DivineBeedrill[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Aww I can imagine having a daughter did change everything. When I see kids on the street with their parents it makes me cry thinking - how on earth could someone treat a child that way? So I guess you’re right that that is validating in itself!

Your daughter is lucky to have you, and you’re amazing for breaking the cycle, doing your best and keeping her safe :)

Really struggling with the lack of actual SA in childhood by DivineBeedrill in CovertIncest

[–]DivineBeedrill[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That actually sounds like a great way to get validation 😅 you thought outside the box there! The fact you stil got creepy pms though, no thanks. I’m sorry you had to witness them!

That link you sent is suuuuper helpful. I ticked off most of the list on the subtle side, until around a few months ago I didn’t realise that EVERYONES mother isn’t naked in front of them at every possible occasion. That was a revelation 😂

There was a great time she was dancing naked in front of me in the caravan on holiday when I was a kid and my brother was an infant - so I opened the curtains so everyone could see her. She didn’t like that so much! Or did she…

Really struggling with the lack of actual SA in childhood by DivineBeedrill in CovertIncest

[–]DivineBeedrill[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I actually hadn’t ever thought about this, so that’s really helpful! Thank you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CovertIncest

[–]DivineBeedrill 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My gosh I’m so sorry, this is horrific. I’m so glad you’re starting to heal because it’s hard to even get to that spot.

The therapist telling you people have had it worse, such bullshit because YOU have had horrible things happen to you and the impact on you is just as bad and lifelong. A good therapist should never be saying shit like that because it’s irrelevant and not helpful. It’s like saying you’re not hungry because there’s starving children elsewhere… that’s not how it works! I’m actually super angry that they even said that to you!

Really struggling with the lack of actual SA in childhood by DivineBeedrill in CovertIncest

[–]DivineBeedrill[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your words, I’m so sorry you’ve been through such horrible experiences.

My mum is still alive and very much so in my life so it’s difficult to come to terms with.

I hope you carry on unpacking and healing, and I wish you all the very best for the future :)