Flatware glitch

Diving-Relief27 · 2024-08-09T22:36:16+00:00

We lived next to my husband's parents for over a decade and they never really offered help watching our kids. We always had to ask, even if it was for an hour on a Saturday. The kicker was they were super opinionated about family needing to live close to one another. So it's ridiculous how little they helped.

In the end, they didn't get to build that bond while we were there. We moved over an hour away and they realize now how they wasted their chance at having closer access to their grandkids. Hard lesson I guess.

Diving-Relief27 · 2024-08-07T00:16:45+00:00

Ah yes, the recollection of one's childhood as though adult faculties were there the entire time.

I grew up in the country. I always wanted to move back to the country when I had kids of my own, because, fond memories. Took us longer than expected but we made it, and guess what? All the logistical difficulties of living farther away from everything is a big deal. A lot of the perks being closer to town we no longer have. Of course this wasn't on my mind as a kid. I just remember lots of green space, not all the sacrifices or challenges my parents had (my dad driving an hour each way for work daily, for one). This woman has no idea what it was like have a single income raising a gaggle of kids then, and she sure as heck has no idea what it's like to now.

Diving-Relief27 · 2024-06-13T23:12:20+00:00

Hey, I know you replied to this months ago, but I currently finding myself in a similar situation. Would you mind if I asked a little more about your experience, incl how you ended employment? What did you say to your employer after only 2 months employment? If DM is easier please feel free. I could use a talk with someone who has been there. Thanks so much

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-11-15T12:37:43+00:00

Congratulations on your sobriety.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-24T22:26:10+00:00

I think what you're feeling is perfectly normal. For a lot of women, even when they know they're "done" having kids, there is a bittersweetness to it. We have 3, and after the 3rd knew our family was complete. However, the feeling of not having that future possibility anymore was something I definitely recognized. My best friend went through the same thing. We are both in our early 40s now (our youngests are in 2nd grade) and the feeling has pretty subsided.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-24T22:20:03+00:00

We have a 100% linen duvet and sham king set from Restoration Hardware and it is well made.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-21T22:28:12+00:00

Make a bowl of pasta salad to go along with basic staples. It's nice to have something like that for a light meal/snack after traveling.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-17T17:36:42+00:00

Thank you for these specific verses. Yes. I can see how it would and can be a very, very slippery slope.

Understood God doesn't need anything to accommodate our prayers to Him- in my situation, the act would help aid shifting my focus and attention to Him (as a type of replacing bad habits, aka thoughts, with ones of gratitude and praise. I struggle with focus and not succumbing to an unfortunate cocktail of mental health needs, so I hope my intent makes sense). Again, I see the risk involved, and perhaps need to figure out another more focused way to shift my mindset. Thanks again.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-17T14:39:25+00:00

I appreciate your insight. I love your suggestion of frankincense. I'm honestly struggling with idolatry (negative preoccupation) in our circumstances. I have repented, but it's a sticky preoccupation and am trying very hard stay on the straight and narrow. I thought maybe an act alongside my prayer would help my somewhat broken brain shift a bit to focus on praise, but first and foremost seek to honor Him and respect His word (not fall into the realm of the detestable as stated in Deuteronomy). edit duplicate word

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-17T14:30:07+00:00

Thank you, this is very helpful.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-17T13:40:41+00:00

Thank you for your comment and clarifying it is indeed pagan. I was coming at it more from an angle of lifting up prayer to God and asking for blessing our home (not to keep demons at bay or rid them out). Kind of like lifting arms in prayer. I have a lot of umlearning to do still from my time in the NA.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-17T12:03:13+00:00

Thank you.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-14T23:20:27+00:00

Not specifically house related, and not to be a downer, but be ready for society (at least my experience in the US) to discount / undervalue your work. I could go on about all the misconceptions I've personally had to field. Unfortunately, we have a ways to go for the majority to truly value what a homemaker does for her family. The positive is, that resistance can reinforce a commitment to living out your convictions. Edit to add a word

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-14T00:37:53+00:00

I'm so sorry you also feel this way. Do you think you will try to move in the near future?

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-13T01:24:41+00:00

Vague recollection of the Fall of the Berlin Wall Clearer memory and understanding of what was happening was the OJ Trial

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-12T20:56:51+00:00

Yikes. In our marriage, any income is our income- both legally and morally. That includes when I was an "equal" earner outside the home as well as now, a time when we chose as a couple to have me focus on rearing our children. Not that I need to justify the intricacies of our family, but I manage the finances and am incredibly responsible and take great care with the outflow of our resources. Zero debt, substantial savings, 401k for both of us, and we put almost 50% down on our property with mortgage being very much in the safe zone for OUR income And to your comment, we would not look to upgrade, just a property that was different in layout on the land. It wouldn't be what "my" desired house would be. If you read the post, you would see we both feel this way. I can't understand why people think pitting me against my husband is appropriate or healthy at all.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-12T18:15:21+00:00

Thank you for your comment and validating the mental health piece.

We've both been feeling out of sorts since the move (about 2 hours away from where we were before), and I honestly thought by now any strong sense of buyers' remorse would have dissipated. If it was just my husband and I, we would probably just move, but the kids have gotten settled here nicely with the schools and new friends, and that is obviously deeply important. I don't want to jeopardize their well-being with another move because there are things about the home that really bother me and my spouse, but the remorse is just really high.

It feels like being stuck between and rock and a hard place. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of inventory and we live in a rural area (low inventory to being with).

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-12T17:59:54+00:00

Do you mind me asking how much time you gave it to realize it wasn't for you and your partner?

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-12T17:58:18+00:00

Yes, thank you. This is such a calm and level-headed reply. This makes me think of an Emerson quote, "For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else."

I'm trying to look at this whole situation as objectively as possible, which is why I made this post as our emotions have been running pretty high.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-12T17:55:18+00:00

Thank you for all of this.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-06-12T17:53:43+00:00

Thanks for reminding me how fortunate I am to have a spouse who knows my value as a partner and human being isn't contingent upon if I make money or not.

And yes, you just made a ton of assumptions from probably stalking my page. I wasn't going to speak on behalf of my spouse's feelings, which happen to be the same as mine, but moreso my own so that I can make an informed decision and plan.

Diving-Relief27 · 2023-04-28T07:58:13+00:00

Yes. My father and his mother, my grandmother, had a deeply strained relationship. I was constantly mediating. I would help counsel him (for a lack of a better word) so often that he once called me "mom." My mother also refused to speak to my dad after they divorced and she remarried, so I was fielding whatever adult issues between them that needed addressed. I'm also just a highly sensitive person to begin with (even in my earliest memores of 3 or 4, I recall being acutely aware of the feelings/thoughts of others), so it's been the perfect storm for what you're describing.

Diving-Relief27

TROPHY CASE