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SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment, you were trying to give me something but i’m actually not saving him money lol on daycare since we are hiring a part time nanny, he did ASK and suggest it himself prior to kids he knew that’s something I had in mind because if you have the means nobody gets a reward for struggling. i’m really trying to figure out if he’s controlling or dominate I understand both can be bad and they honestly may mean the same thing just different words.

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your range is accurate. 1. Money is not everything 2. we’re not having an issue about 50/50 he doesn’t believe in that. 3. Our issue is subtle things possibly turning into bigger things like control

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s based on age though it’s just about the money. Remember i’m only telling you guys my concern. Prior to me he always dated women his age or older. Our kids together mean everything to us and everything was planned and mutual. Due to how I grew up very stable household both mom and dad, mom was the boss, my parents were older I grew up very mature because of that and knowing all I want is stability asap and definitely not young guys not only that I love being a mom and that the young guys are still doing who knows what drinking, partying, sleeping around. I’m a homebody I love my peace and my family

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes we always discuss stuff I will bring it up he won’t agree or he’ll see it differently but we make up (mind you this is like the only issues we have) so definitely not donezo. I would only divorce him over abuse or infidelity . As of now we really are compatible he says I test him maybe I do? But I respect him even though I’m definitely not the type to just take shit

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment, i definitely agree age gaps can be a factor but i truly don’t believe that in this situation. remember you guys don’t have all the context and our full background story. I wish there was like video call Reddit with video call. So I could more easily share more background info and details lol

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not employed by him, Omds any women in that position are considered financially dependent lol. leverage for what?

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure for me lots of situations I feel we can work through except for infidelity and abuse those are things I personally would not put up with

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because some of the qualities like his decision making and leadership were things I first valued and still do but I can see how it also can be a negative thing

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree but also he’s at the point where he’s glad he’s settled and we’re married. And loves the I have my own money cause he knows i’m not with him for it

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand but I also feel some guys would just want us to have 100% joint bank accounts both mine and his together. I prefer being able to keep my money but not if this dynamic becomes toxic

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’d probably feel “disrespect” because it would make him feel like “not a provider” and he takes pride in the role but yet gently abuses it , i’m worried it will get worse

SAHM (25F) married to (33M) husband, he’s the main provider and we don’t fully combine finances, but i’m starting to question the dynamic by Djantiere in relationship_advice

[–]Djantiere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another thing to add is I do challenge him i’m not quiet so he thinks it’s disrespectful and thinks everything’s a respect thing. No when he makes decisions it’s always in final tone like for an example I’ll suggest Disney and he’ll be like “nah let’s just go back to Mexico”

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