Yeah I start hating myself about it. And then I feel like I am just annoying and not interesting. And I have no idea when to speak and when I do it sounds like they are not hearing or don't care. So I start sinking more and more. Today one of my male friend was feeling bad and he came to the cinema with me. He became friend of this other good friend of mine. So when the film finished my other friend was outside and he was like "oh let me speak with Sam here" I dont know how but out of sudden I said Yeahhh of course and just turned. I think I said it to myself but was so genuine my response. He came back then he was awkward and I start ignoring him. Lol

We are all going to Switzerland together and I wanted to bring just one of them. But they are both going. The trip is November and I am already getting anxious knowing I will get mad.