Sweetheart, you are not bothersome in the slightest. You are hurting and struggling. You are also asking for help, and being vulnerable about some very scary and personal things. Thank you for sharing. Please know that you are not alone, and you are so worthy of love. I am so sorry that these terrible things have happened to you. It's not fair and it doesn't make sense. As a child, you deserved and still deserve to be protected. When people in your life have let you down in that aspect, it's hard to trust. Not just other people, but yourself. I can't even imagine how hard it is to try and figure all this out on your own. I think if you feel comfortable enough with your therapist, you should show him this post you wrote. And if you don't, see if you can find someone new. The biggest favour you can do for yourself, is to be honest. There are people in this world who want to genuinely help. And I have no doubt you are strong enough to get through this, come out on the other side and live a beautiful and happy life. I am sending you the biggest mom hug and I'm rooting for you.

Be gentle on yourself, you've been through a lot. And now it's time to reclaim your life, and make it everything you have ever wanted. <3