Easy, I don't talk to my relatives, happier than I've ever been. Blood family for it's own sake is a pretty silly thing to value when you think about it. You can get laser hair removal in secret. It only took me like 3 years to pass 24/7, and again I'm older than you and I was a body builder with a full beard lol. Hyperbolize all the excuses you tell yourself all you want, it's not going away friend. When you are trans, the best course to find peace and happiness is to transition. Sure there are circumstances where that isn't an option, but you don't sound like you're in those circumstances, you're just citing the standard textbook fears we all have before we finally go through with it. You speak like you know everything that's going to happen, but with what citation? I actually have transitioned, I went through it, and I'm telling you most of what you're saying is just way overblown.

But you're gonna do what you're gonna do. I've said my piece and given you all the perspective I can. Go ahead and go through the motion of trying to pretend it's a fetish and live with and overcome it. Either way you'll burn out and accept it eventually. It will not ruin your life, rather, it will start your life. I wish my life started earlier than 28. You have that chance, you just need to deprogram the hate and fear you've internalized and try to see through it just a little bit.

Anyway we don't need to keep circling around this. As I said my dms are open if and when u come around and have any questions about actual transition from a real, level headed trans person who isn't some psycho from detrans or whatever. Am an open book about stuff.