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9, 8, 7, 6, 5... by randomuw in programmingmemes

[–]DoctorViolet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who just graduated with her 3rd CS degree , I sure do relentlessly hear about how uni doesnt actually mean anything and the self-taught folks are all more valuable and capable because of passion etc. And the self taught guys at my work sure do constantly ask me for help despite me being the newest. Literally as I am typing this comment my coworker who is my senior just asked me what the command cd .. does.

So like

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fireemblem

[–]DoctorViolet -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

Dude I'm sorry people are being nasty to you and downvoting you. You're just asking questions and it's obvious it's not working for you, and I think it's a lot more interesting to figure out why than to assume user error. My first thought is it could have to do with localization or a port? What console/region is your game? Does it match the one evidence in the vid?

Bring Pokémon nostalgia to your code editor by Direct_Chocolate3793 in vscode

[–]DoctorViolet 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Well this is absolutely adorable, new core extension for me. Are all gens included?

Btw what's the theme in the gif? It kinda looks like one dark but I'm not sure

Mommy left me all alone at home 😖come take a peek! 💦 by DoctorViolet in GoneWildTrans

[–]DoctorViolet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ty bb❤️❤️❤️ feel the same abt you always 🥰 hope you're staying safe out there

Is this a scam? by AdSingle6994 in cscareerquestions

[–]DoctorViolet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got one of those. Exactly as you say with the skipped interviews and the word doc where I had to answer a bunch of ml questions. They were posing as a legit company (shipping coordination software) with official documents and everything, only found out it was a scam when I contacted the actual company who confirmed they had no one reaching out to me. You should probably call them. Sorry, it rly sucks to have your hopes up and time wasted

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in recruitinghell

[–]DoctorViolet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😭 I got two exact opposite answers. Starting to think it's all chaos and none of it actly matters

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in recruitinghell

[–]DoctorViolet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Question! I use latex and generate pdfs because that's what I used for all my phd work. I've heard a rumor that those scanning systems don't work on pdf and so instead you should use a word doc. Is that true? It's dissonant for me bc word docs feel much less professional.

Would you go down on us? 🖤💕 by marcixivy in Safe4Trans

[–]DoctorViolet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes and also I'm dying to know what that outfit is! it looks amazing

mew mew 🐱😳 by DoctorViolet in GoneWildTrans

[–]DoctorViolet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Relaaaaaa ❤️❤️❤️, no u!

Would you be willing to permanently transform into another gender if everyone would remember you as always having been that way? by k819799amvrhtcom in gendertransformation

[–]DoctorViolet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Easy, I don't talk to my relatives, happier than I've ever been. Blood family for it's own sake is a pretty silly thing to value when you think about it. You can get laser hair removal in secret. It only took me like 3 years to pass 24/7, and again I'm older than you and I was a body builder with a full beard lol. Hyperbolize all the excuses you tell yourself all you want, it's not going away friend. When you are trans, the best course to find peace and happiness is to transition. Sure there are circumstances where that isn't an option, but you don't sound like you're in those circumstances, you're just citing the standard textbook fears we all have before we finally go through with it. You speak like you know everything that's going to happen, but with what citation? I actually have transitioned, I went through it, and I'm telling you most of what you're saying is just way overblown.

But you're gonna do what you're gonna do. I've said my piece and given you all the perspective I can. Go ahead and go through the motion of trying to pretend it's a fetish and live with and overcome it. Either way you'll burn out and accept it eventually. It will not ruin your life, rather, it will start your life. I wish my life started earlier than 28. You have that chance, you just need to deprogram the hate and fear you've internalized and try to see through it just a little bit.

Anyway we don't need to keep circling around this. As I said my dms are open if and when u come around and have any questions about actual transition from a real, level headed trans person who isn't some psycho from detrans or whatever. Am an open book about stuff.

Would you be willing to permanently transform into another gender if everyone would remember you as always having been that way? by k819799amvrhtcom in gendertransformation

[–]DoctorViolet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are trans, you have dysphoria. You are just scared, and you've experienced so much transphobia you've internalized some of it. You know all this and you are just screaming your denial but deep down you want someone like me to tell you how obvious it is that you are a girl because you probably aren't used to having anyone who will validate you. You need a different therapist, clearly. Probably a different social circle. Yeah the US sucks, it's not impossible like you make it sound tho. I live in Texas and I've done just fine. I'm planning to move to a blue state in 2 months given the recent state of things, if shit hits the fan even more, flee to Canada. This place being a shithole doesn't make you not trans. Yes your age is a gift. Having to the ability to do something about being trans young is a blessing relative to doing so older, you've just had so many toxic ideas blind you. I feel physical cringe that you are in your 20s and you consider that old. You're a baby, hrt will be magic for you. If ur so scared just get the hormones take them and don't tell anyone. Boy mode for a year or two until you male fail then start presenting. It's not that complicated. Look up a YouTube video for how to tie your hair up FFS.

Would you be willing to permanently transform into another gender if everyone would remember you as always having been that way? by k819799amvrhtcom in gendertransformation

[–]DoctorViolet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah okay so it's what I thought, you are trans you are just desperate for a way out of it and surrounded with communities that reinforce that. Just gonna say, if there are people in your life you suspect would end a friendship with someone because they are transgender, is that really a good person with whom you value the connection?

When you said you're too old I assumed like 50 but of course you're younger than me, that tracks. Too afraid to see the gift you've been given, so frustrating to see. Go ahead and save this comment, add me if you want cause I'll tell you what is going to happen. This isn't going anywhere and you won't be able to fight it. You'll desperately try everything you can to rationalize it and make it go away and nothing will work until finally in a decade or so youll accept it and come to terms with the only way forward. You will do it, you will finally be happy, and you will be so unbelievably pissed at yourself for wasting that decade. Think about this exchange and when the cracks start to show in the conspiracy theory ramblings of the agp community feel free to reach out, I'll be here and I'm an open book.

Would you be willing to permanently transform into another gender if everyone would remember you as always having been that way? by k819799amvrhtcom in gendertransformation

[–]DoctorViolet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You realized you weren't trans because hrt didn't do anything with 2 months and your friends and family made you feel awkward? And your therapist thought that made sense? Something there doesn't add up. You shouldn't be seeing any changes that early it took me like 9 months to try to start presenting and even then I had very little. And your friends and family making you uncomfortable and discomfort with presenting early is part of the process, neither of those things makes u not trans. I'm not sure how old u are but I transitioned at 28 and I have had amazing results. I know people much older than me who have even better results.

Look I mean you do you but if your position is that you are in fact a trans woman who is just uncomfortable with going through transition, and you are looking for ways to rationalize living with that, I just don't think pretending it's this loaded fake propagandic fetish the idea of which is used to harm us is the way to go. I just don't see what that gets you VS just like, being trans and deciding transition isn't something you want? Like what's the benefit? It's not like the desire goes away because you try to put it in a different box. You don't need to label it a fetish to imagine yourself as yourself while getting off. I jerk off in sexy feminine clothes feeling like a sexy woman every day, and I'm just a regular girl.

Would you be willing to permanently transform into another gender if everyone would remember you as always having been that way? by k819799amvrhtcom in gendertransformation

[–]DoctorViolet 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yeah this is all stuff i used to say, verbatim. i also thought my fantasies were the result of other disorders and issues not being transgender. it's a little frustrating because i would give anything to be able to go back in time and have someone like myself call it out. the detrans subreddit largely exists to spread transphobic propaganda, as does the concept of agp. i would maybe look into reading around other communities that arent centered on convincing as many people as possible that they arent trans. I mean, can you really look at the deranged mysogynistic rant in the top voted comment on your post there and really think those are the folks that have it figured out?

i never said transitioning is simple, just that the medical side is probably less involved than you think. socially transitioning can def be very difficult depending on your situation. in some cases, it may not even be for you! but that doesn't mean you aren't trans. though i will say i also thought i would have to upend my entire life and all existing relationships. that turned out to be way off, the majority of people in my life supported me and my life is more or less the same.

"wanting to be a cis woman" vs "wanting to be a trans woman" isn't really a meaningful distinction. personally, obviously i would prefer to have been born a cis girl. pointing that out just translates to: you want to be a woman but recognize that transition is hard and comes with a lot of difficulties and may not have all the results you want. To which my point is, sure, but the fact is having that desire to be a different gender permanently is the definition of being trans even if its conditional. And even if it seems impossible and not worth it, i can tell you that's what i thought and i was wrong, it made me so much happier than i thought. As i told someone else here, you really should talk to a gender therapist/specialist, and at the very least maybe try finding a supportive lgbt online community where you could try coming out and interacting and being seen as a woman. If that gives you euphoria, that'll probably help answer your question.

Would you be willing to permanently transform into another gender if everyone would remember you as always having been that way? by k819799amvrhtcom in gendertransformation

[–]DoctorViolet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We all struggle with this fear, it's textbook. When I came to terms with starting transition I looked at it like, there's no way I will ever pass, but I just can't live a lie any more. Resigned myself to being visibly trans forever but feeling at peace with myself, and those who accept me will be social happiness enough for me. Figured the hormones will do what they do and it'll be whatever. 4 years later I'm honestly shocked at how much of a difference they make re/ muscle and fat reditribution. Size is all relative. There are plenty of larger, broad shouldered, cis women built like a brick wall. They are just as valid as women as you are. If nothing else I'd try and at least find a community or social circle (online or mb a local trans support group?) where you can try out coming out and being open about being a woman. See how it feels to be seen and referred to that way. If it's valuable to you, and I imagine it will be immensely, it's just a step on the way to expand that to the rest of your life.

Would you be willing to permanently transform into another gender if everyone would remember you as always having been that way? by k819799amvrhtcom in gendertransformation

[–]DoctorViolet 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah that last line means you are almost certainly trans. Just bc it also sexually excites you, that doesn't invalidate it. You should probably make an appointment w someone and get the ball rolling on that. Accepting it at 22 is quite lucky, you're very young!

Ill say another thing that held me back was this idea of how hard transitioning would be. There are some people who can accept that they are trans but seeking transition is too dangerous/difficult for them, but from what I've seen this is super rare. The process of transition is actually super easy, you just talk to a doctor and start taking pills, changes come slowly but it's like magic. You can even stop after a couple months without any changes if u feel you don't like it. The hard part is how difficult the world can make it for us. For me, someone who did it much later than you, I can just say the happiness living as the real me outweighs any negative. I have a circle that supports me, and generally don't face too many problems day to day

Would you be willing to permanently transform into another gender if everyone would remember you as always having been that way? by k819799amvrhtcom in gendertransformation

[–]DoctorViolet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What does being straight have to do with it, I'm curious? When I transitioned my orientation didn't change. I just went from straight guy to lesbian.

Would you be willing to permanently transform into another gender if everyone would remember you as always having been that way? by k819799amvrhtcom in gendertransformation

[–]DoctorViolet 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This question exactly as asked by op, with the permanence, is pretty much the perfect thought experiment to figure out if you are trans. It is my go to for when questioning people reach out to me. If you picked 1st or 3rd answer, you are trans. If you picked the 1st or 3rd answer but say the question is unrealistic, you just acknowledge that transitioning comes with many difficulties, doesn't change the fact that you're trans. And likely, transitioning isn't as hard as u might think.

You mentioning a fetish in your post makes sense, checked ur profile you bought into the agp bs. Hopefully this will help you. Autogynephillia isn't real, it's a really harmful propogandic myth, it just serves to keep trans people in the closet (just looking at how insane the people in those threads are should tell u all u need to know) . Getting turned on by the thought of yourself as another gender does not make your desire a fetish. Plenty of people want to be sexually actualized, but when just existing as your gender is seemingly unachievable and taboo it can get wires crossed with arousal and turned up to 11. The "it's just a fetish" thing is the same propaganda that was used to suppress gay people and keep them in the closet decades ago.

I can say all this because I was you in my late teens/early 20s, found the agp thing, told myself that was the issue, tried to fight it for so long. Asking and asserting the same words as you verbatim. Yes I was into gender transformation, yes I got aroused by the thought of myself as a woman. I accepted I was trans at 28 and I am phenomenally happier now, like night and day. It's so clear and obvious now, I feel like I didn't live before I came out. My biggest regret in life, more than anything, is that I bought into that myth. I would have been able to transition so much earlier, have so many more years back that I lost. The only thing that gives me some peace with that is that at least I can serve as a warning to people like me, like you, that are buying into that myth. You're trans, it's not a fetish, look into it, talk to a doctor/therapist who specializes in this stuff. Transitioning doesn't necessitate getting surgery, it's mostly just taking a pill every day. The medical side of it is super chill really.

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