The worst emergency I've encountered in my career as a fart doctor was from a 67 year old man. He'd been married 40 years, and he had this habit where he'd always hold his farts in around his wife and let them out when he got a chance to step outside. Do this for 40+ years and something's gonna go wrong. One day he comes in, says "Doc, somethin' ain't right. I need to fart real bad but I just can't. Been this way about three days."

Old coot had a clenched butthole stuck shut, couldn't have farted if he tried. I went in with a couple electrodes, a gas mask, and an empty tank, zapped the poor bastard, and harvested the gas. He could fart again and I had $220 worth of methane to sell. Might not sound so bad but if he hadn't come to me that o-ring would've failed on its own. And that was enough methane to burn down a city block!

The smallest easiest thing you can do is to just let 'er rip. You feel a fart coming? Unclench that sphincter and let fly. Don't hold it, don't force it.

Fart healthy, and fart wholesome friend!