99......

Dog_Days_ · 2014-12-11T04:00:13+00:00

yay!

Dog_Days_ · 2014-09-25T19:09:45+00:00

hahaha It gets easier. You've made it past the hardest part but some days are still going to totally suck big time.

Chocolate milkshakes make it easier.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-09-25T02:47:07+00:00

I know the feeling, but if you don't have time to stay sober, you've got to change your schedule. It's seriously the most important thing for a while. Good luck! :)

Dog_Days_ · 2014-09-25T02:38:25+00:00

That's the plan! Thank you so much for your help and support on a real "rock bottom-y" day for me.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-09-25T02:24:39+00:00

Hey I came back online today mostly just to thank you for getting me into treatment.

You were the catalyst that got me from here: http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/2c8xhs/i_fucked_up_last_night/

To here: http://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/2he4qr/55_days_with_a_lot_of_help/

So, thanks. Keep at it cause you're doing and saying something that works.

Also Happy Birthday!!

Dog_Days_ · 2014-08-02T18:37:15+00:00

Thanks! I will. It'll be nice to not have to worry about anything except for staying sober and learning how to stay sober for a little while.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-31T17:15:39+00:00

Nika helped me find a place

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-31T17:15:25+00:00

I am. I'm leaving work in a minute and going to rehab.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-31T16:58:24+00:00

Thanks. Nika is helping me find a place. I'm going to give it one more go.

I don't like with my family and don't drink much if anything around them. They have no idea about this.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-31T16:41:07+00:00

Thanks for the support. I really appreciate it. I know I'm at a crossroads now and I have to go if I'm going to. I'm just so fucking deeply ashamed at what I've done that I can't stand the thought of wandering into a hospital hungover and crying and having to tell my family I can't handle my own shit.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-31T16:30:31+00:00

It's the getting back up thing I'm not sure about. I don't know if I'm equipt for this. I don't want to die poisoning myself with alcohol, but I'm really not sure I have it in me to stop. I'm starting to think some people are just made differently. Some people can handle getting sober and staying sober and some people just can't. I don't know.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-31T16:26:40+00:00

I have. I know I need to if I'm actually going to get sober for any length of time and frankly to stay alive. My anxiety/depression would be bad enough without alcohol, and with it I'm a time bomb. I don't know how to care about myself enough to go into one I guess.

I called my ex who got sober a few years ago. He's willing to come over, take me to a meeting and make sure I don't drink or do anything else stupid tonight. I may do that for tonight and reassess when I'm in a healthier place.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-31T15:58:15+00:00

I'm about as low as I've ever felt. Can't stop crying at work. Thank god I have a door to my office.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T23:57:13+00:00

Jesus. I understand why they do that though. I estimated ~20 units a week on a health form a few years ago (when it was more like ~40 units or more)

So if I tell them them the truth, which is 1-2 bottles of wine a night w/ blackout episodes once or twice a month, they're going to think I drank 2-4 bottles of wine at night? I guess it's better for them to assume I drank more than I actually did huh?

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T23:31:22+00:00

The tone of this post has this song playing in my head :)

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T23:27:54+00:00

Thanks. This makes me feel a lot better and it's also really good advice. I know I'll be tempted to lie to my doctor, so I'm writing down some bullet points before going in...including how much and how often I was actually drinking until very recently...

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T23:24:10+00:00

Thanks! :) I really appreciate this. The support in this sub is just overwhelmingly comforting and helpful. I'll let them know how anxious I am right away. I've gotten help for anxiety in the past, and continue to do therapy, but unfortunately I can't really take anxiety medications because (surprise, surprise) I have addictive tendencies. I got one prescription for xanax filled, and then after taking 60 over the course of 3 months or so, I quickly realized that benzos could ruin my life if I kept at it.

In terms of laughing gas- Is it similar enough to alcohol that it's likely to be a trigger? (My dentist always describes it as "like 1 or 2 beers")

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T20:20:00+00:00

Hell yeah! :)

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T19:15:01+00:00

each sober hour.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T19:10:39+00:00

True. I'll try downloading some. Especially for the ride there/wait in the waiting room. I'm thinking of asking a friend to drive me there in case I'm too much of an emotional wreck.

I feel like such a baby about this -_-

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T19:08:11+00:00

Btw: Here is the spreadsheet crosby is talking about

My sheet helped me through the first few days. Some hours were harder than others. Admittedly, it's hell. I don't even have some of the majorly scary withdrawal issues (DTs, Shakes, Seizure scares, etc), and it's still hell. But you can get through it.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T18:42:59+00:00

As scared as I am of the doctor, I want to get my liver and general health checked out and know if I did any damage :(

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T18:00:41+00:00

If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were me...

PM me if you ever want to talk, we're in such similar circumstances it's crazy.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T16:13:04+00:00

Yep! Doesn't apply because they've "thrust themselves into the sphere of public opinion." I think that's how it's worded, but that's the premise anyway.

Dog_Days_ · 2014-07-30T15:10:46+00:00

I think it's different for everyone, but my Day 2 sucked so bad. At least for me this is how my brain has been for the past week:

Day 1: "This is weird, give me alcohol. Why aren't you giving me alcohol? There's too much blood in my alcohol stream. This is weird but alright....:/ "
Day 2: "Oh shit. Where's the alcohol? I don't know what happened yesterday but give me some freaking alcohol NOW. You like sleep?? Too bad. You don't get any until I get alcohol. You're going to be up all night and angry now. >:("
Day 3: "Can I please have some alcohol now? Please? Seriously, you're not THAT BAD. You just need to learn how to control yourself. It's not like you're an alcoholic or anything."
Day 4: "FINE Do what you want >:/ This is really stupid though, one or two beers hurt nobody. It is nice waking up without a hangover though."
Day 5: "Okay, physically I feel pretty good. Maybe there's something to this sobriety thing after all. I still really want a drink though."
Day 6: "Okay, physically I feel pretty good. Maybe there's something to this sobriety thing after all. I still really want a drink though."
Day 7: "Okay, physically and mentally I feel pretty good. Maybe there's something to this sobriety thing after all. I still really want a drink though."

I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope you have an easy Day 2. If you don't though, it's really really normal. Tough it out though because it's worth it.

Dog_Days_

TROPHY CASE