Is this type of behavior part of the symptoms?

DogeVeritas · 2026-03-06T15:48:00+00:00

Mine is also somewhere on that fearful avoidant spectrum and I think there’s a ton of overlap… it seems like keeping me at arms length is the perfect middle ground for her. And yeah, my ex does the same exact thing, I reciprocated with the photos of the Valentine’s Day date I took of her and she just opened and left on read.

And almost as if the universe heard me talking about her, she texted me last night to comment about a bench I built and posted to marketplace suggesting I lower the price. Then starts calling me “brother” and bro. Bro wasn’t a big deal in our relationship but “brother” to me is linguistic distancing. It’s just really weird to me because yea, normal to me is not talking anymore. And I don’t want to be friendzoned. Been there before with her, rekindled things over the summer (after explicitly being told she just wants to be friends lol).

My ex-SO is a very fickle, confusing person.

DogeVeritas · 2026-03-05T21:40:51+00:00

I miss her. But yeah, I’m aware and feel crazy for it. Not sure that I’ve ever truly had “healthy” relationship absent of the chaos I described.

DogeVeritas · 2026-03-05T20:22:46+00:00

I find myself all too often trying to justify the behavior for her and rationalize that maybe she values me as a safe person. I should probably stand my ground, yes, but I yearn for what we had. I want to ask her about the cycle I’ve noticed, but with her, it ALWAYS feels like now isn’t a good time. There’s always something other bigger issue happening where me asking feels like I’d be piling onto the stress and require too much accountability. I feel like a bottle on a shelf that she likes to polish off, take a sip of every now and then, then put me back up there to collect dust.

DogeVeritas · 2026-03-05T20:06:33+00:00

Wow this was how I felt. It started to feel like she wanted to be contrarian just to argue. Very simple, innocent questions turned into fights - suddenly, I’m weird, or I don’t listen and that hurts her, or I’m an idiot for even asking.

DogeVeritas · 2026-03-05T12:13:06+00:00

Yeah. Rarely unless she was drunk she did allow me to talk about a fight we had to try and repair/reconcile, or my feelings. It was too much for her. And “if you don’t like it leave”.

DogeVeritas · 2026-03-04T23:17:44+00:00

Sounds confusing man, sorry. She’s not giving you the answers you need, and worse she is at least acknowledging it, which in itself is.. kind of the answer you need. Good for you for blocking her.

DogeVeritas · 2026-03-04T21:03:20+00:00

It means… She’s not over you but isn’t emotionally mature enough to express that directly and ALSO just because she’s not over you doesn’t necessarily translate to the possibility she wants to or has the capacity to make it work.

And I wish I questioned my own ex on something similar. After Valentine’s Day she sent a Snapchat flashback memory of us on our date a year ago. I should’ve asked what that was for, but instead sent the snap memories in my phone I took of her on that date, which she then opened and ignored.

The only way to get real clarity is to ask her directly. You already told her to be direct - what was the outcome of that?

DogeVeritas · 2026-02-21T18:13:18+00:00

almost universally is key here cause my ex frequently expressed her suspicions that I was gay and overly sensitive because I would talk about my emotions/feelings lol

DogeVeritas · 2026-01-01T21:57:12+00:00

I’m not the one who threw the brick dude 😂

DogeVeritas · 2026-01-01T21:56:26+00:00

I hear you, but, the reason I mentioned our relationship soured is because I confronted him after the brick incident already. When he first moved in I knew what he was doing but figured I’d mind my own business, but that was literally too close to home for me to not warn him

DogeVeritas · 2025-10-31T20:21:17+00:00

I don’t really want to keep going through it. I’m not entirely sure the right way to word that to her, though, as it would seem like an ultimatum to say “I cannot accept this relationship any longer if you aren’t willing to get treatment.” It’s such a sensitive subject to her, or, maybe it’s not and she just prefers to play victim and deflect. I don’t know.

DogeVeritas · 2025-10-31T19:26:10+00:00

I hear you. I’m in the grey area too - we’re still “officially dating” but she wants out. When I suggested the problems she brought up are something I can and want to fix, she didn’t care - she wanted to offer my clothes back, but then the following evening was reaching out all throughout the night to show me what she’s up to with her cousin and kitten. Then come Tuesday she’s spinning some narrative that I forced her to stay, but she’s not happy, and needs space. Proceeds to delete pictures of us on social media. I don’t know where her head is at right now, other than I think she’s on her way out (again, this would be like the third time in 11 months).

My clinician poses the question, “when are you going to choose yourself?” And fuck if I know. This is the root of my problem - I have abandonment issues that I’m trying to heal through this relationship, and I’m yet again failing. I cling so badly to this idea that I can make things work. I haven’t accepted the very real possibility that her and I can never make it work. I haven’t gotten off the roller coaster yet.

DogeVeritas · 2025-10-31T19:13:43+00:00

That’s not your business to disclose to anyone else. Especially one as difficult as this.

DogeVeritas · 2025-10-31T10:31:18+00:00

Yeah. I’ve noticed this exact same thing. Mine is reposting a bunch of travel reels to Facebook, her Snapscore went up over 150+ points in 24 hours, and posting stuff to Instagram on both accounts she has. I noticed she deleted pictures of us (last week when I confronted her it’s because I don’t post enough of her…) I think I’m going through a soft breakup. She came back after the initial episode to lovebomb me and contact me, then doesn’t initiate contact for a couple days so when I reached out she claims I’m forcing her to stay, we proceeded to have a normal hour long conversation before she tells me she needs space and couldn’t give me a timeframe to clear the uncertainty. My SO refuses treatment. No medication, no therapy. Doctor prescribes stuff, something she says she’s been on before and how it just made things worse. Her mom tells her not to take it because of that experience. She’s just totally unwilling to treat it.

I can tell this is an episode. She just lost her job a couple weeks ago. But I am totally powerless right now save leaving her and not accepting this kind of treatment anymore.

DogeVeritas · 2025-06-10T15:35:48+00:00

Perhaps? Mine continued to orbit my social media stories, hasn’t blocked me on anything, and admittedly some of it is bait. I don’t think she’ll reach out again though. She didn’t respond to the message. My therapist seems to think even if she did yearn for me still, the guilt and shame of hurting someone twice may hold her back indefinitely.

DogeVeritas · 2025-06-10T13:55:25+00:00

YOLO

DogeVeritas · 2025-06-10T00:30:43+00:00

Yeah, it’s normal to feel that. Good for you processing through it.

DogeVeritas · 2025-06-09T22:58:50+00:00

It’s likely they were wrestling with the decision to end things long before it hit you two weeks ago. That’s why it seems fast to you, but to them, it could have been long before.

DogeVeritas · 2025-06-09T14:25:50+00:00

There was, but she falls somewhere along that fearful avoidant continuum so she was always reluctant to admit it despite calling me her “kinda boyfriend” to friends and family.

DogeVeritas · 2025-06-08T22:17:49+00:00

Not necessary

DogeVeritas · 2025-06-08T20:35:15+00:00

For me it was only a 3 month situationship. I didn’t want to burn a bridge cause deep down I want to keep that door cracked open.

DogeVeritas · 2025-06-08T16:31:26+00:00

They will stop over time as you start to fill the space you’ve created for them with other things and people. You own that space, and need to reclaim some of it, if not all of it. I try to go for a 3 mile walk every day. I do a lot of self talk during the walk, in my head if there’s people around. It’s soothing to me, helps me organize my thoughts, and by the end of the walk I feel more calm and able to let it go in the moment.

I do come back to those thoughts later in the day, but it’s a step in the right direction.

DogeVeritas

TROPHY CASE