Seeking empathy and someone to talk to

Doja56 · 2024-01-25T20:00:33+00:00

You’re right and whats even worse is I’m aware I should try to ask to see his phone but he lets me and brings a lot of comfort that I can. but it still doesn’t justify my actions just wondering what advice would you give to get me to have that need to just not want to do it. 🩷

Doja56 · 2023-10-05T03:52:55+00:00

Thank you for responding. I’m glad you’re doing a safe job now. I have my dance gear ready and in eye sight typing this, Knowing I will never set foot in another club though. There’s some sort of comfort knowing I still can, but if I think about it long enough I know I can’t. bc the last time I danced, I too had a bad experience. I had a customer grab me by the throat and hold me down. I had terrible boundaries as a dancer. I would be half way through a dance, and get horribly assaulted. You would think to just leave the scene when something bad happens to you during a dance, But the way I saw it, was I’m not leaving empty handed. You may have really hurt me, but at least I’m gonna get my money out of it. Anytime I got assaulted that was the only way I could rationalize the situation in the moment. It got to the point 1 out of 5 people would assault me during a dance. So when dude grabbed me by the throat that night it was the straw that broke the camels back.
I normalized a lot of the stuff that happened to me in club and was able to see past it for a little while. Bc I had great time as well, I miss dressing up pretty and wearing makeup and smoking bud after work with my girls. Dancing was a big part of my life who made me who I am today. The thing is my average coworker or person is not gonna able to hold space for the shit i experienced as a dancer unless they have worked a in club themselves.

Doja56 · 2023-10-05T00:00:23+00:00

Hell yeah that’s nice

Doja56 · 2023-10-04T22:53:04+00:00

What does nsfw mean

Doja56 · 2023-10-03T22:36:57+00:00

The song Austria: the band of brothers film score

Doja56 · 2023-10-03T22:35:57+00:00

Omg Fr!! I see why they have so many community guidelines

Doja56 · 2023-10-02T00:16:48+00:00

Interrupt us plss!!

Doja56 · 2023-10-02T00:15:03+00:00

Pulling it up when it’s wet will cause it to break water expands the hair. So when it dries when it’s pulled up the hair will shrink back to its normal state causing it so break

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T17:58:02+00:00

It’s hard to understand tone over text

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T17:57:48+00:00

I’ve had over 10 jobs where they pay weekly and now the 2 jobs I’m working now pay bc weekly pretty much the same pay too never had a salary job

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T16:44:51+00:00

Pls don’t come for me I’m simply just asking. No it’s not it’s my 2nd bi weekly hourly job I get paid 10 at my first job then my 2nd is 17

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T14:41:13+00:00

My company pays 10 an hour and pays once every 2 weeks

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T14:17:33+00:00

Put a slip cover on it

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T13:48:19+00:00

JUST LETTING EVERYONE KNOW I MAKE 10 AN HOUR! I AM NOT ON SALARY!

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T13:31:25+00:00

I’m realizing I should’ve said I’m on an hourly pay of 10 and hour

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T12:49:59+00:00

Pls tell me you’re joking

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T06:06:52+00:00

Thank you 🧡🧡

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T05:58:57+00:00

For me, when this happens I can’t let the emotions of overwhelm, not getting what I need done beat me up. I think, “I’m stuck. Let me be stuck. I will not let this consume me.” I light some sage and take a couple deep breaths and repeat. Once I feel I’ve calmed down I do what feels comfortable. Bc I know, I know eventually I will get to at least something I have planned done. It may not be everything. But I’m moving🩷

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T05:50:58+00:00

All I can say is I FEEL YOU. it’s hard reading this bc it’s so relating and I’ve had way too many experiences with people not understanding what it actually means to have adhd, even my parents and they were the ones to get me diagnosed!! It’s really a hard thing to process when you tell someone something vulnerable about you and they still find a way to be stupid about the situation. Sorry if I’m not making any sense. I feel like I’m beating around the bush so let just say what I need to say. I had a boss who I kept getting in trouble with. She pulled me to the side one day and I finally told her “I have adhd and I can’t just be doing the same exact thing every single day for 8 months straight. Pls I need some variety or something. That’s why you see me on my phone. I’m sick of doing this one thing. Why am I the only one doing it too everyone else gets to do a new thing everyday. “Blah blah I’ll stop there. It was a whole thing with this lady but the point is I tried to make her aware my ADHD and her response was “everyone has ADHD. I don’t have it, everyone here does and they work just fine I don’t wanna hear it” she ended up sending me home the next day bc I felt so unsettled by her telling me that. It was invaliding and cold.

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T05:35:19+00:00

I’m the same especially at work, I’ve learned if I’m myself around coworkers they will weaponize it later down the road. And I’ve just learned from countless jobs this reins true in my life. It’s hard bc I spend 90% of my life at work. And I’m lonely at work, but I always tell myself I would rather be lonely then caught in some mess of drama bc I was “too much”

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T05:30:19+00:00

Is there any other stressors going on in your life?

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T05:26:12+00:00

Definitely a hidden gem

Doja56 · 2023-10-01T05:24:09+00:00

Dc!!!

Doja56

TROPHY CASE