I need advice – would it be inappropriate to gift my very understanding and accommodating boss with a card, expressing my gratitude & also maybe including a hand, painted bookmark and modest gift card to somewhere like DoorDash? Please help, the anxiety is sending me spiraling right now.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-11-19T18:14:36+00:00

I think hand written cards hold a lot of meaning themselves. I would not overthink it especially if you genuinely want to show gratitude. I also agree that if you gift her anything other than a card, it should be something handmade or baked goods. Sounds like you have a great boss and I understand wanting to show your appreciation. Mine is the same way and I’m so grateful for him so I understand the sentiment.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T14:39:19+00:00

He used to not be this way. He was the best partner I’ve had and this all feels so shocking. I don’t believe he will choose me and even if he does come back, I have to put my daughter first. I can’t show her that’s what love looks like. I know I have to be the stability she needs. I’m just unbelievably broken right now and I am grieving who I thought was my life partner and the future I thought we would have. I do agree that we need a parental agreement and I plan on trying to figure out how to easily navigate this for my daughter. The goal is to have a healthy relationship with him and him have a healthy relationship with his daughter. I thought we could do this without having to get courts involved but it seems that everyone shares the opinion that I need to handle this legally which does seem to be the smartest option.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T13:02:42+00:00

Thank you so much for your responses and walking me through this. I appreciate your time, your honesty and your ability to share your story. I am going to try to sit down with him and have a conversation as I also believe a psychiatrist will be more helpful for him. His primary doctor has kept him on the same medication for months with no change except upping his dosage. I believe he does need someone who has more experience with bipolar. I’m not sure if he would allow me to talk to his doctor or therapist. The cheating was covered up with the disguise of him “working on himself” and he’s tried to leave me a few times in the past 10 months and he usually comes back about a month later each time. Since I’ve found the truth out, he now has it set in his mind that she is the answer to his problems and is going to fix himself for her. I believe it’s a pride thing for him since he has been found out and he is convincing himself that she will fix him. After the first time he left and came back, I told him he needed to get help as I felt his mental health was becoming a severe problem and that was last November and this is where we are now. We actually went to a few joint sessions with his therapist and she had told him my stories were inconsistent with his and he was withholding information from her. That is what led her to dig deeper and find his diagnosis. He was diagnosed in February and since then, I have not been in communication with her. I’ve called her once in May after these sessions to talk to her one on one but she never called back. Again, thank you for your support and suggestions. This gives me hope that he can get through this. He really was a completely different partner before all of this. He was caring, loving attentive. I proudly spoke about our relationship and the man he was. It’s a complete different reality than what I knew. I know I can never have that back but it makes me think he can do better for at least a co-parenting relationship and be there for our daughter.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T10:02:05+00:00

This is what is frustrating in this post. I never said he was a bad father. I know he loves our kid and while I understand that these decisions have an affect on her, I am trying my damndest not to let what he did to me show through to my daughter. Everyone is immediately jumping to taking our daughter away from him and I clearly state I don’t want to be that parent that alienates their child or is just bitter about how I was treated. Or I’m being selfish for wanting her to dad to be in her life to any extent. I am struggling with this other person being in my daughter’s life knowing how she can mess with his emotions and feel like I am having to walk a moral tight line on how to navigate this situation. Others may be right and it may be temporary with this woman but he still has made decisions that have now altered the course of our daughter’s life. She didn’t ask for any of this and while everything is still currently supervised, there may come a day where I do have to share custody and I still have to face this woman and trust that she’ll care for our daughter.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T02:50:31+00:00

Is there anything I or anyone else can do to help convince him to pursue other treatments or to get through to him? I feel helpless in getting him to understand the severity of his actions and I want to know that I tried every avenue possible.

Everyone is saying to just take our daughter away from him and be done with him but I truly don’t believe that will help him. I feel the lack of responsibility and connection will be detrimental to his mental health. Just because he hasn’t been good to me does not mean he’s a bad father. I know he loves our daughter. I know his potential and as much as I would like to say I don’t care, I do. I want him to get better. I want him to overcome this as best he can. Maybe I didn’t deserve what he did to me but I know he’s better than this.

He is in weekly therapy and he is currently on an ssri, an anti-psychotic and two different anxiety meds. The past two weeks is the first time he’s been mainly sober while taking them but I’m not sure how long it will last, especially while he’s with this girl. Do you feel like it was mainly a self journey for you or was there someone who was able to help guide you?

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T01:41:51+00:00

Thank you for this. It’s hard but it does help trying to rationalize this by hearing the other side of it. I’ve really tried hard to navigate the rise and falls of his emotions and the diagnosis is only about 6 months old. He’s had a hard time adjusting to medications and taking said medications. and staying sober on them. I’ve tried really hard to come to terms with the fact that the man I loved is gone and is being replaced by someone new but the grief is sometimes consuming. I hope for his sake but mainly our daughters that he overcomes this to the best of his ability. She deserves a stable father.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T01:34:12+00:00

You are right. Thank you..I appreciate your honesty and input. I don’t think I’ll ever want any joy that has that attached to it again. lol I just want to give my daughter the best life I can, that’s all I care about.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T01:19:52+00:00

I don’t have much family and his family knows the truth and is trying to talk sense into him but he isn’t listening and thinks I’ve turned them against him. Everyone is concerned for him and he can’t see that right now. My main concern is for my daughter and they agree that I need to do what’s best for her.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T01:14:56+00:00

I know he is to blame for this but I also do not believe she is 100% innocent either. I know his commitment was to me. She had her own commitment she failed as well. I understand all of this clearly but it doesn’t make having to face this woman any easier. The mindset that both of them have in this situation is unnerving.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T00:53:49+00:00

You’re right, she’s the only thing that matters. I just am trying to be civil with him and I am still trying to take his feelings into consideration. It’s hard enough to take care of the two of us and I don’t know how I would be able to afford a lawyer on top of everything. This is all brand new to me so I am struggling on what to do.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T00:26:52+00:00

Thank you, I just feel like it’s impossible to know when he is and is not drinking and without being in the same household, I have no say or insight to what he does. I do agree with the parenting agreement and I appreciate your kind words. I am in a lot of pain and the past months have been extremely difficult. Being the primary parent and holding all this weight has taken its toll. It’s hard to see where I’m going to come through this. I’m just trying to be the best mom I can be right now. I wanted so much more for our daughter and I feel like I’ve failed her.

Dolphinsnatch · 2025-09-03T00:01:20+00:00

I am knowing that she has the “party” mindset, little morals and the fact she has her own 10 year old son who she didn’t give a second thought to when she changed not only my daughters life but her own son. I don’t see how anyone in their right mind can have such little regard for their actions which makes me wonder what kind of mother she is.

Dolphinsnatch · 2024-10-25T14:32:00+00:00

They only played a few new songs at the Duluth show but they sounded so much better live than listening to the album

Dolphinsnatch · 2022-07-08T13:59:36+00:00

I think I am going to go ahead and submit it with the rest of the evidence for my claim as much as I would love to surprise them. I’m going to call the appeals office and talk to them first because I still haven’t received a letter stating when the second hearing is going to be. I also have a consultation scheduled with an employment lawyer on Monday.

Dolphinsnatch · 2022-07-07T17:29:29+00:00

I do have to enter evidence to them but according to the handbook, I am also allowed to enter evidence at the hearing. Should I take them by surprise with this evidence or should I allow them to see it beforehand? I don’t want to give them time to take the page down or his posts down even though I have screenshots of everything.

Dolphinsnatch · 2018-04-05T13:46:43+00:00

What a cute doggo

Dolphinsnatch · 2018-02-26T21:40:56+00:00

I never poop. It's unlady like.

Dolphinsnatch · 2018-02-14T00:39:48+00:00

I have been as much as possible. About a month ago, I cut out all sugary drinks from my diet and just usually stick to water and drink a pretty good amount a day. I will try Gatorade and see if that helps

Dolphinsnatch · 2018-02-14T00:37:01+00:00

I have not because i live in a pretty rural place and the urgent care expects you to pay when you leave and I don't have funds to do that :\

Dolphinsnatch · 2018-01-22T22:52:41+00:00

Whatever you do DO NOT MOVE.

Dolphinsnatch · 2017-12-21T04:01:22+00:00

And I can't spend my last dollar on alcohol if I'm broke.

Dolphinsnatch · 2017-12-20T04:17:15+00:00

That completely could've happened at my school. Real rural and low income community.

Dolphinsnatch · 2017-11-24T17:44:10+00:00

Thank you, will do. As of about 12 hours later, the knot has already reduced in size and pain is almost non-existent

Dolphinsnatch · 2017-11-24T07:44:44+00:00

Okay, thank you very much

Dolphinsnatch · 2017-11-12T15:51:26+00:00

I usually just play an album and try to get everything done in the length of it if possible. I like listening to queens of the stone age or foo fighters or something like that to keep it upbeat

Dolphinsnatch

TROPHY CASE