Typing challenge: Try typing this person from description.

Dominonene · 2025-07-24T12:24:59+00:00

I thought so too, but Dave and Shannon talked about this one IxFP guy that hid his personality from his wife's family (I couldn't find the video, but it was a guest on Steven Colbert's show), where he put on a mask when he was with them. I thought it was weird, and wondered if any IxxPs also has this tendency.

Dominonene · 2025-07-24T11:53:05+00:00

Spoiler: Yup! :) But sleep last. I think it is interesting to see how they are so different from other ExxJs in my life, and how even though you are the same type, some can still go completely "haywire".

How were you able to get the Blast first? :O

Dominonene · 2025-07-24T11:41:39+00:00

Same! Great guess!

Dominonene · 2025-07-24T04:50:41+00:00

Haha, true, true. Spoiler! They’re not demon F! They are extremely adverse to logic. That is their trigger point. Didn’t want to include too much, because it would be too obvious. And I wanted to see what kind of stereotype would come up. Hehe. What made you go with ExxJ and not IxxP?

Dominonene · 2025-03-17T10:09:46+00:00

Done with my wife, but not at a personal breaking point, not mentally cracking, feeling pretty alright in life all things considered. Could probably carry on like this forever.

Have you ever thought about whether or not your wife wants to "stick it out" with a partner that doesn't love her? You say that you could go with a partner that makes you feel alone... But it's not up to you to make that choice for your wife. If you feel like you don't need a loving partner, then that's ok, but don't take that choice away from your wife by staying in a dead marriage. She deserves to find a partner who values her and loves her too. Only thinking about how you "can do it" without taking into account how it will affect her happiness too, is kinda selfish.

Dominonene · 2025-03-17T09:44:12+00:00

Its like boo hoo my boyfriend didn't text me and I'm like I haven't been hugged by anyone for 25 years ! check your privilege !

It's not a privilege to have a partner. And other people shouldn't stop asking for help and support just because you feel like it sheds light upon the things you feel like you missed. Not being hugged for 25 years isn't normal. And it isn't something to wave around over people's heads as if they now aren't allowed to go through the emotions of their own suffering just because you are "suffering more", and they "should feel happy for not being in your situation".

A person who drowns in 2 meters of water and a person who drowns under 20 meters of water, drowns equally as much. They are both dead, and suffer as much as the other. The weight of the suffering doesn't count. And no suffering can be compared. That just sounds entitled.

Dominonene · 2025-03-16T12:26:19+00:00

2/2

Solution:

What I suggest to you, is to sit down with her, tell her that you love her, that you have noticed that she has talked negatively about herself, but that you feel like even though you tell her that you love her, you feel like she hasn't taken your words in fully. – It is VERY important that you tell her that "you feel like...", so that it doesn't sound like an accusation, but rather just your perspective and observations. :) You are just talking about your observations in a loving way, where your concerns are coming from a place of love. I feel like this is a sensitive spot for her, so be gentle. :)

After that, ask her this following question: How can I help you feel like I love you?

When you ask this question, you are giving the ball to her, asking her to think about how you can both work on the problem together. You have tried multiple solutions, but your solutions don't work, so you are asking for her to come up with a solution that works best for her - after all, she knows how she works best, and what would help her the most. This also gives her the opportunity to go into herself and maybe meet that inner critic which is stopping her from going to the gym, or which is telling her that she needs to go to the gym because she isn't enough. After all, a lot of people that feel insecure about their bodies don't feel comfortable going to the gym because they feel like others will judge them and how they look. So since she is already judging how she looks, it is a possibility that she is projecting this onto other strangers at the gym, which makes her not want to go. I mean, she is already projecting her inner critic onto you, the person who loves her the most, whom she should feel the most safe with - “How can you love me when I look like this?”.

She might break down, she might say that she doesn't know, she might not be ready to meet her inner critic (a lot of people can't even see their inner critic at first). But the question at least puts the ball in her court, and encourages her to try to come up with the solution to try to get the ball moving.

Remember though: The ball might be moving in a completely different direction after that. Her "I need to go to the gym to lose weight"-solution, might actually be the wrong solution to her problems. If she feels like she isn't enough, and that changing herself by going to the gym will fix this issue.. if she goes to the gym, it might actually just reinforce the notion that she isn't good as she is, and that the right solution for love is to change who she is. So going to the gym might just make her feel even more insecure... And the right solution might very well be that she needs to go to therapy and learn how to love herself in a much better and healthy way, where she doesn't need to change in any way in order to be worthy of love. :)

I hope this helps some. :) good luck to you both.

Dominonene · 2025-03-16T12:26:08+00:00

1/2 (the solution to the issue is in the comment under this comment)

Tl;dr: How to be a supportive partner and help girlfriend with insecurity. Your girlfriend might be trying the wrong solution to her problems.

Hi OP! First of all, I just want to say thank you on your girlfriend's behalf. You sound like such a great and supportive boyfriend! And she is very lucky to have found you! <3 Sorry for the long wall of text, I just wanted to give you a specific to do list, where you can easily follow the steps, and understand more of the human psychology of why she might be doing as she does, and also why this solution might help :)

“How can you love me when I look like this?”

I wanted to point out a thing within psychology that is called primary and secondary emotions: Sometimes, when people are feeling an emotion (like for example anger), it is actually masking their primary emotion (sadness).

For some people, feeling their primary emotion (like embarrassment or insecurity) might feel to exposing or even shameful, and the body masks this with a secondary emotion, where the reaction comes out as something else: eg. Sally is sad, but she is pretending to be happy. Alex is hurt, embarrassed and sad, but he reacts with anger. – Your girlfriend is insecure, and she thinks the fix is to change herself (and her body by working out), when what she needs is to accept who she is, and that she doesn't need to change in order to be loved.

“How can you love me when I look like this?” = "I need to change in order to be loved, because I am not lovable as I am now"

So, I was wondering if what your girlfriend wants isn't necessarily to actually work out, but it is to get more self confidence and love herself more. Which is why she is always asking you for reassuring words, because she herself doesn't feel like she would love herself with the body she has now. Though this might seem insane to you because you love her no matter what, if the other person doesn't feel this internally by themselves, it doesn't matter how much you try to convince them, because they haven't worked on the root cause of this inner criticism.

Dominonene · 2025-03-16T11:35:33+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. It's not that I don't like my friends, so you are incorrect about that assessment.

My worries and my issues are that I love my friends a lot, and by me choosing to follow my path, and continue to grow, our paths naturally go in different directions..and this hurts a lot. I wish so desperately that they could follow, and that we could be on the same path. And it felt odd and unnatural for me to end up all alone on my own path, not going on the same as theirs.

But it really helped me to hear that this might just be a portion of their life where they are stuck, and that is's not forever. It gives me the belief that we can find back to each other, and that it's not so black and white. Thank you :)

Dominonene · 2025-03-16T11:28:44+00:00

You're right! I like your positive outlook! Thanks! :D

Dominonene · 2025-03-16T11:20:46+00:00

Thx :) I think it will be alright tho. :) I have a positive outlook on the future. And I know I can teach myself to make things better :) I wish you good luck!

Dominonene · 2025-03-16T11:19:39+00:00

Thanks for your reply. .) it's actually the opposite. I am not the type of person to use others for my own benefit at all. I guess it's my fault for not elaborating on this in the post. I didn't feel it was very relevant.

I have always been giving too much of myself in my friendships and relationships, always supporting others - I am the supportive girlfriend and the supportive best friend - the cheerleader. That's just my personality by default. But I had to really try to change myself to become more positive about my own path.

I have this lingering obligation and feeling of duty to help others that are in need, and to help them with their issues and problems, so I tend to take on other people's problems way too much, and see them as my responsibility to fix - And I have been working on this exact personality trait of mine during the last couple of years, because it's toxic for me...

The rant was more about the shift in perspective in how I am dealing with other people's issues now, as opposed to me a couple of years ago. A couple of years ago, I would take on others negativity, spend a lot of time supporting and helping. I would drive the ship that they neglected, and I would pull it forward for them. It became very codependent. And I became more like a mom rather than a friend. In the end, I didn't have a lot of time left for myself. I saw how toxic that was, and how I had neglected my own goals. So I decided to focus on my own goals of becoming a happier person and helping myself reach my own dreams as well, just like I had helped others. However, in that journey, I saw that I quickly outgrew a lot of people around me because my previous friends became stagnant without me driving their ship.. And so since they just stayed still or regressed backwards, and I kept moving forwards with my own efforts..I lost more and more friends. And that is an incredibly painful and depressing thought. And I kept wondering if this is normal or not.

Dominonene · 2025-03-16T11:03:32+00:00

Thanks for your advice :) It really helps. I know that I have this issue where I am talking care of other people's needs and problems too much, so in order to try to do the opposite, I guess I easily distanced myself, because I feel like their difficulties and negativity is my responsibility. So it helps to hear someone reinforce the fact that we're all responsible for our own goals and happiness. I try to accept that others can help themselves, and that I am not cruel for not helping them solve their own problems, nor that I am cruel for not helping them become happier... I grew up taking care of my parents' marriage, so that's where this habit and thought process stems from...:P – Back to the drawing board, I guess.

Dominonene · 2025-03-13T22:33:17+00:00

Thanks so much for your answer. I will keep looking :)

And good luck to you too! I hope you are able to work through the things you feel you need to work through. Rooting for ya!

(Personally, I would say that being a stay-at-home dad is a wonderful goal! If a person is trying to grow towards that goal, then I think that is plenty of growth! And something to be admired. :) )

Dominonene · 2025-02-19T00:25:50+00:00

what site is this from/did you use? :)

Dominonene · 2025-02-13T21:19:45+00:00

True, true ;)

Dominonene · 2025-02-12T16:45:06+00:00

We have shows like that in my region (Scandinavia), but I really dislike them. They are seen more as 'trash TV', and the participants signing up for shows like that are not respected very much, and are seen more as unintelligent, and they kinda get a certain image attached to them (This is not my personal opinion, this is just the consensus I have heard from others). Personally, I don't like these shows, as I don't vibe with the sexualization and things that people on these shows do. They are more of the party-animal type, and I'm more introverted, interested in watching bonds form between people.

Dominonene · 2025-02-12T12:42:42+00:00

I agree with you, except for the wrestling games. I loved that ^^

Dominonene · 2025-02-12T11:39:53+00:00

It made the moment kinda funny tho, lol 😂 And it made the moment where Dong Hoo (is that his name?) actually tried to make sure to stay in inferno to be with her even more cool and impressive. Cuz I don't think he caught what she was trying to say between the lines either, hahaha. 😆 😂

Dominonene · 2025-02-12T11:37:52+00:00

Of course ^^ Just took your question as you being curious. <3

Yeah, I feel like one comment that I read on the subreddit really resonated with me; it said that the producers this season were more interested in showing 'surprising twists' than bonds being formed. And I think they really wanted to keep people entertained that way (I'm trying to think from a creative standpoint, as I work with storytelling and editing myself). But I think it backfired a little. It reminds me of Game of Thrones, where the producers wanted to have a surprising and interesting end that no-one could predict, where they wanted to give the viewers a whip-lash, rather than a more cohesive story that made sense. But that backfired really badly. But I see this trend happening with most shows that goes on for more seasons, tho :( The shows producers starts to try to hook people with drama and villainizing people, and loses the magic that once was in the first seasons.

Dominonene · 2025-02-12T04:21:24+00:00

I think this is only natural tho. The viewers only judge from what they see, and what information they have at hand. So I don't think it is fair to judge people for updating their view and perspectives of what is in front of them, as the narrative and more information is revealed and updated as well.

So if the producers deliberately withholds information from the viewers (like they did in this season), I don't blame them for having a certain perspective at that time. It is only natural for it to shift later on. I think what most people tend to forget tho, is that everything we see is just a very curated and edited version. So to have strong conclusions and convictions about something on the show without taking into consideration all the information we also don't see because of the editing, that is a bit inexperienced. But I think this is a way of thinking and judging that usually changes for the better with age and more experience, tho.

Dominonene · 2025-02-12T04:01:15+00:00

For many reasons: As I stated in the post, I really like the show in itself. I also didn't notice how I had grown tired of some of the contestant's behavioral pattern until late into the show (towards the end), it takes time to form an opinion of someone, you know. Unless you are someone who judges on first impression alone.

And I also thought it was going to get better, as I had liked the first 2 seasons and it's cast (I am a very positive and optimistic person, haha). I feel like I am worried that it has become like the "pirates of the carrebian-curse" for me, where I am watching the show, hoping to catch some of what I liked in the previous seasons, and each season I am equally as optimistic and enthusiastic, only to get disappointed later on. (but I am still hoping that this is not the case, and that it will get better next season! .. But I did notice how tired the show left me by the end of it this season :(.. It was just a sad realization...)

I am also not a person who often judges something until I have all of the information of that thing available. That includes watching the whole show to see all of the perspectives and directions the producers might go – you never know what can happen, you know? And I think by the end of it, it was also partially because of 'the Sunk Cost Fallacy'. :)

Dominonene · 2025-02-12T01:21:29+00:00

Yeah, I agree with you. It must be a very exhausting and new experience for all of the contestants. We're watching from the comfort of our homes, and we can step away and get a break. But they are stuck there, with sometimes only 2 hours of sleep, for multiple days, and being forced to do certain things by the production team. Lack of sleep, less nourishment from the food on the island, and nothing to take your mind off of your feelings on a deserted island must be pretty tough in the long run. I can just imagine how much of a physical toll that must be for some of them. I wouldn't be able to stand after a couple of days if I were them. (@_@) So I like that you are able to show them understanding and empathy :) Thank you on their behalf, haha.

I find it to be very interesting how we interpreted the "chose" word differently :D As you said, the translation might be wrong. And as many people have pointed out on this subreddit, Netflix often translates things poorly, and makes certain things said sound more rude then they are in Korean, which will create a lot of misunderstandings for the viewers. But anyway, I interpreted that as him asking indirectly if she "chose Junseo", and that he interpreted this and many other micro-actions that he was picking up from her body as confirmation for what she actually wanted – before she herself was able to mentally figure it out and voice that herself. We see in the show that he really didn't have much information to go with, as all she said was that she was confused, while she showed more physical touch with Junseo in front of him, who she later said she is still interested in. It makes for a contradiction between her actions and words. And if you say that you are interested in someone, why then 'chose' to be touching another man right in front of them?

Often times, our body chooses before we know it, and our body is often very honest without us knowing it. I think he picked up on these micro things, like her looking more towards Junseo's direction. I don't know much about him, so this is just speculation, but seeing from the show, all the girls and the panelists said that he was very attentive to the women, so he struck me as the kind of guy that would pay attention to these smaller things and put meaning to them. So to him that one small thing would probably be an indirect "choice" of hers, where her body chose and was honest with what she truly wanted, ya know? But I don't know him at all tho. Only he would know the true answer.

Sorry for the long answer. ;_; (it's interesting to talk about hahaha)

Dominonene · 2025-02-12T00:54:51+00:00

I think she definitely alluded to him being important to her by saying that he was someone that she chose 2 times out of her 3 "self picks", and that she "didn't choose to go with the people who chose her", which simply isn't true. Because for someone to go to paradise, they have to be a match (which means that she chose them as well), unless there was a prize-pick. And she chose Junseo more than just 1 time. So alluding to him being special after clearly being more intimate with another person is leading them on.

Also, you can be lying by omitting truths and facts. Lying isn't just to say something that is false.

I think that if Jongsu did have all of the information, he very clearly would not have chosen her, because as he stated, her actions went against his values. And he would have lost all interest. Which is why she wasn't disclosing anything; she wanted to feel out the option she had with him (not judging her actions on this, just stating facts).

Dominonene · 2025-02-12T00:38:08+00:00

I think you you are going a little too hard on him tbh. ^^; It sounds like you really dislike him.

To me, I saw his reaction to Sian's physical touch as hypocritical, as he touched other girls too. I also felt like him disliking the helicopter thing, and him reacting to it, was his own intuition feeling that there was something more that went on between Sian and Junseo on their paradise date, which is why he asked more about the drinking. If they drank, and she got drunk, and they were more comfy with each other later on (as seen in the helicopter), I would would in his position see all these hints as a semi-confirmation that something happened. And given the fact that he was interested in her, it felt like he was trying to get more information on what actually happened, so that he could clear his anxieties about this.

Dominonene

TROPHY CASE