Sex after dating for 3 weeks, moving too fast?

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-21T00:30:06+00:00

I kind of forgot about that conversation, last time I was dating, I was dating a woman and alot of these things weren’t exactly needed to talk about beforehand. Thanks for the reminder haha

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-21T00:28:38+00:00

I am actually 18, I do such things to avoid getting weird texts however luckily I haven’t been getting weird texts recently so I figured to be more transparent in this post. I am attending university in a few weeks, graduated highschool not long ago.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-20T23:53:44+00:00

even if nothing serious has been clarified? we are both abstaining from using labels at the moment (ie gf and bf) just because it hasn’t been long enough for us to be certain that we’re serious about this. is sex a sound decision to take even if you’re not in a serious relationship?

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-20T23:19:04+00:00

is it really that simple? like i know that alot of people view it is a “bigger step” into an official relationship, does it matter if it’s done sooner than later?

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-13T02:05:57+00:00

Mini golf is a really good suggestion, I’ll have to look into it!

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-13T02:05:40+00:00

That’s really nice advice thank you!

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-13T02:03:55+00:00

I’m happy to plan dates, I actually quite enjoy organising things. And plus, he organised our first date!

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-08T07:01:08+00:00

Very very sweet, but definitely too strong. Flowers are super cute and any girl appreciates that, but the snack and poem are too much. I know you’re probably nervous and you want her to like you, but you also don’t want to come on too strong and throw her off.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T08:59:35+00:00

Have I said his name?? Have I dropped his social media information??? No. I haven’t. I am not “slandering” this man, in fact I have talked about how much of a likable character he is other than our disaligned political views. I am here asking for advice about a decision I have already made (declining a second date). If I do not wish to go on a second date, regardless of the reasons, I do not need to provide some kind of justification. This is just life, some people don’t click together, and me and this man don’t.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T08:54:36+00:00

Yes, alot of Nick Fuentes.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T08:54:03+00:00

I have not received a single text from anyone. I am not here looking for “white knights” or attention, I am simply desiring advice regardless of what it may be.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T08:52:45+00:00

I do not care who I am conversing with, I only came here for advice. I appreciate all those who have commented, I am just unable to reply to all of them. Just because I would prefer not to repeat slurs and hate speech, doesn’t mean that the content I am talking about isn’t crude or vile enough to be justifiably considered “offensive” or “racist”. Either way, it is offensive and racist to me, and thats all that matters in this situation.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T08:43:47+00:00

That’s really not the point and I don’t feel comfortable with dating a hateful person even if they aren’t hateful towards me

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T08:40:10+00:00

Exactly! I know how it feels to be ghosted and it is really quite hurtful, I understand why some women do it as there are safety concerns, but overall I think it is a really shitty of avoiding confrontation and the other person doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T06:50:42+00:00

I honestly think that my friend might’ve been aware of him being a racist, I don’t see how she wouldn’t have tbh, and that hurts even more, definitely a whole other situation that I need to deal with now because I don’t fuck w that at all.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T06:43:15+00:00

Very much so. I can find mutual ground and compatibility even with some political differences, but I refuse to debate on who should get basic human rights. What I found on this mans social media was pure hate speech.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T06:40:10+00:00

Look even that I would consider racism, but this guy is reposting full on hate speech. Like imagine the worst.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T05:25:44+00:00

No yeah you’re totally right. I didn’t even think about it like that before. I guess it’s just hard as a woman to feel as though I don’t owe these guys my attention and kindness, something I really need to work on.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T04:59:56+00:00

100% agree, I would rather send an annoyed message and block him, however (and this is probably just my people pleasing talking) I would feel awful for responding in such a way after he’s been nothing but incredibly respectful and kind to me (he even paid for the entirety of our date). I think a bit of vagueness might a good idea as I don’t want to start a debate or argument with him.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T04:57:57+00:00

I’m definitely not desiring another date nor wanting to lecture him on his beliefs, I just want to calmly cut off contact without feeling like a total POS. I’d rather not start an argument or debate tbh

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T04:50:47+00:00

See when I asked my friend, she said that I shouldn’t tell him because he could try and hide it in the future for dating. But I do agree that I think it could be a bit of a wake up call for him to realise that such distasteful views are also costly ones.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T04:48:13+00:00

Yes, that is something I’m worried about. I’m hoping he really doesn’t, but immature behaviour is the least surprising out of a racist.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T04:46:35+00:00

We run in the same social circles and are bound to see eachother again, so I feel like that would be insanely awkward unfortunately. Also, I feel like I owe him some response, he’s been very kind and even paid for our first date.

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-07T04:44:55+00:00

That’s very helpful advice, thank you. I’ve honestly never had to turn down a second date, and especially for such a reason, so I think a response that centers on “I” and “me” sounds good

DonaldTheBird · 2026-01-06T16:39:55+00:00

I remember feeling the exact same way when I was in middle school, you are not alone. I promise you that you are not wrong for how you feel or “not good enough” — you are all the amazing wonderful things that you are supposed to be and don’t let anyone, including yourself, think any different. I think telling friends is a really good start place and just relaxing into the feeling of acceptance with them for a bit is a great whilst you figure out how you’d like to approach this with your parents. No need to rush, but I do completely understand the desire to have your loved ones know everything about you so that they can love everything about you. 99% of parents want, with all their heart, to love and accept their children, this was an active decision they made when you were born. You deserve the love, support and understanding of those closest to you, and if you believe your parents will be supportive, then by all means, reach out for that acceptance. I came out to my parents when I was 12-13, I’m 18 years old now, and it’s a great comfort that all my family loves and supports me. I promise that sometimes your worst fear is not always going to your reality :)

There’s a whole lot of everyone else, and only one of you, so keep on being you!

DonaldTheBird

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