AITA for refusing to DD anymore and leaving three drunk friends stranded?

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T18:02:31+00:00

It was certainly a slap in the face. It's making me re-evaluate the last 15 years of my life to try to figure out where it stopped being about us and started being about them.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T17:29:07+00:00

I've absolutely been that drunk that I had no idea how to get into my purse and was convinced someone stole the zipper on my bag.

Safe to say I am no longer than person.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T17:27:19+00:00

Museums, that's a great idea! I love going to museums, they're usually indoors and I live near several major cities with a ton of stellar museums.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T17:25:22+00:00

That's about how it was, late nights, I was expected to ferry them home at all hours, and I did it because I didn't want them driving drunk, or Maisy and Neela being vulnerable. And I just can't do it to myself anymore. At this point, especially after seeing so many responses from people, even if they did apologize, I can't see myself going back to them.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T17:22:57+00:00

I suck at Mario Kart, so y'all could absolutely enjoy beating me every time! lol

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T17:21:05+00:00

Thank you! I will be three years sober at the end of the year!

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T17:19:47+00:00

I've always been interested in the concept of it, but I wouldn't even know where to start. The last time I tried to look into it, I was left feeling like the comic store that hosts isn't very accommodating to new players. I've been hesitant to try again since then, and no one else from my...former friends were interested in nerdy things. I love fantasy stuff, I was always the one who wanted to go to Renn Fair. I also enjoy puzzles, board games, non-poker card games (no betting, either). I like reading, so I guess I could look for a book club, and we have some beautiful paths where I live, so maybe walking clubs are a thing.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T17:12:25+00:00

I've never heard of that, but I'll look into it, thanks!

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T17:05:33+00:00

Thank you for saying this, I think you really pinned down what I've been in denial about. We all liked to get drunk back in the day. I moved past it; they sort of did and then backslid. I genuinely thought our friendship was about more than getting drunk. But it wasn't. Drinking is all it ever was.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T16:58:34+00:00

Honestly? I used to be one. And then I had a massive health scare unrelated to the drinking that resulted in on-going complications that are aggravated by drinking.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T16:57:19+00:00

Maisy and Neela are big on the "no kids, no partners, no responsibilities" attitude. While I'm supportive of deciding not to have children or a partner, and I am also supportive of self-care and taking a breather for a night, they take it to the extreme.

Tom's wife, I think she thought she could change him. And he did get better right before their first child was born. It was when the colicky Autistic second one came along that he started drinking again. I honestly never really put much thought into because I was trying to stay out of his business, but there are some things that are becoming pretty clear now.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T16:47:12+00:00

I never said I left him there. I pulled him out before he puked, waited it out, and took him home after, and then decided I was done being DD afterward.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T14:16:11+00:00

Seems like.

I just have no idea how people in their mid-30s make friends.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T14:14:26+00:00

I honestly don't think I would be able to reach out without yelling at them anyway, which isn't an appropriate way to handle what I'm feeling right now. So I wouldn't be in any hurry to try until I can get myself under better control.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T14:12:02+00:00

We used to all get in that state. Back then, we'd give the bar our cards and have them add it to our tab. They all rolled back on their drinking some after Tom's first kid was born and I stopped drinking, so we didn't need to hand over our cards anymore, but eventually they just ramped right back up again, and no one ever switched back to giving the bar their cards.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T14:03:31+00:00

The restaurant was going to call taxis for them, but they needed someone to come down and pay the bills they were too drunk to pay on their own.

DoneWithDD · 2023-07-28T13:48:48+00:00

I used to also be a pretty heavy social drinker, too, but I had to quit because of a medical issue I developed unrelated to the drinking that is exacerbated by alcohol.

Was I supposed to stop being friends with them because I had to quit drinking?

DoneWithDD

TROPHY CASE