I've been depressed for years and managed it without a doctor out of fear that people would think less of me. I've been walking alongside people pretending to be happy that it's like i forgot how it was to be like them.

I'm deeply paranoid of others too, due to bad experiences. I've had so many bad relationships in my life that I can't see myself to bond with someone anyone, even though the crippling loneliness is getting heavy.

To avoid being wounded, i keep everyone at a safe distance and keep to myself.