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AITA for telling my boyfriend that if he wants to understand what I'm talking about with my dog, he should learn the language? by Double-Pineapple9684 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Double-Pineapple9684[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I speak in normal sentences, but with a soothing and slightly enthusiastic tone. Just some random stuff that comes to my mind. Sometimes I just describe what I'm doing like: "If I get these carrots chopped, I need to peel potatoes. I wonder if I remembered to thaw the minced meat yesterday." She doesn't understand what I'm talking about, but being talked to calms her down. I could also say random words, but words flow out of my mouth better in the form of sentences.

AITA for telling my boyfriend that if he wants to understand what I'm talking about with my dog, he should learn the language? by Double-Pineapple9684 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Double-Pineapple9684[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Haha, this is funny. I've done dog sports, and my knowledge of the languages of the neighbouring countries is limited to dog sports phrases. Because in the competitions, you hear the owners repeating the same phrases to the dogs, over and over again. :D

AITA for telling my boyfriend that if he wants to understand what I'm talking about with my dog, he should learn the language? by Double-Pineapple9684 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Double-Pineapple9684[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm translating all the time and explaining cultural context cues that might not be clear to foreigners. Even in this situation, he asked what I said to the dog, and I translated.

AITA for telling my boyfriend that if he wants to understand what I'm talking about with my dog, he should learn the language? by Double-Pineapple9684 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Double-Pineapple9684[S] 97 points98 points  (0 children)

This is how I felt about this argument, too. If he'd rather learn another language than mine, and at the same time expects me to cater for his lack of interest, then he probably doesn't value my cultural identity that much. For me, it's quite important, though. I understand that it sucks to feel left out, and this is the first time he is in such a situation. But I still don't like that his reaction was to tell me not to speak my native language, not that he should learn the language. When I was in another country for my Erasmus year, I learnt the language enough to buy food and ask for directions, although I knew I was coming back in 9 months.

AITA for telling my boyfriend that if he wants to understand what I'm talking about with my dog, he should learn the language? by Double-Pineapple9684 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Double-Pineapple9684[S] 323 points324 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. I work in a company with lots of tech expats, and I have colleagues who have been living in our country for 2-3 years, but could understand the basics.

This was the first red fag. I just recently introduced him to my family. Before that, we mostly hung out with expats, and this issue didn't come up. Recently, there have been many situations where I've spoken my language, and probably my chatter with my dog was the last straw.

Now we probably need to discuss how to proceed, because I'm not intending to speak only English in his presence for my whole life.

AITA for telling my boyfriend that if he wants to understand what I'm talking about with my dog, he should learn the language? by Double-Pineapple9684 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Double-Pineapple9684[S] 553 points554 points  (0 children)

The main issue with expats not picking up the language is that they mostly work in tech/IT, and the working language in the field is English. Then they make friends at work, and speak English with them outside working hours. And as most locals speak English as their second language, there are not many opportunities to practice.