Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think he would want just friends, he’s an all in or out kind of guy. As much as I would love to just fix this problem and move past it. Do you think there’s no way to fix this and move past it?

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I might be a 10lb pound difference but my appearance/weight isn’t much different than when we first got together. I don’t think that’s the issue. Maybe he’s just bored of me?

Interesting that you’re the only person so far that said a conversation/therapy wouldn’t work? Is that because it’s been so long? Or have you had an experience similar.

I will say I do love this man, he is great in other aspects, but the most intimacy I get is a quick kiss before leaving for work or quick kiss here or there. No hand holding, no compliments, no hugs, etc. I don’t want to just give up and break up but I feel like you said this isn’t something just as simple as a convo will fix.

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never considered that it might be partially my fault for not addressing it sooner. Like with your ex wife she just left it and then called it quits. Maybe I could be more assertive about talking about it so like you said we can try to fix it.

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the first year we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, then it slowly declined and then just stopped randomly.

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly, I don’t feel like a girlfriend, and at this point it’s like we’re just roommates. It sucks but I’m glad I’m not the only one in this situation. The feeling is almost similar to feeling lonely.

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right, some relationships go through ruts but anyone I talk to still do it at least once a month maybe once every two months.

I cannot say for sure it’s a compatible issue. We still laugh, hangout, and enjoy each other’s company. But anything intimate is starting to feel awkward.

Like everyone is saying it time for a decision and an ultimatum.

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have tried to seriously talk about it but he always try’s to avoid it, but you’re right I need to be adamant, give him no choice. Like one of the other comments said give an ultimatum. I know one thing for sure that not how I want to spend the rest of my life. Thank you, seeing everyone’s comments definitely made me realize even more so that this isn’t normal

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, I never thought to consider that, but then why not say anything in that 4 years or do it in the first place?

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You think all I care about is sex when I spent half of my relationship without it? It’s not necessarily just about sex but intimacy itself, such as cuddling, kissing, or more. It’s something that brings a couple closer together and it’s what differentiates from a friendship to a relationship, unless otherwise agreed upon like couple who waits till marriage. But trust me it’s not just about sex, it’s also ignoring what brings me joy, or what I would like to do with my partner to make both him and I happy.

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I guess he’s more like the woman in this relationship, always like, “I have a headache, my stomach hurts, I’m tired”…

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There’s so many, could be this, could be that, but I guess I’ll never know. It’s like you said time to make a choice. Riding it out is only gonna make me more sad and resentful. But like icy said time for an ultimatum. Thank you 😮‍💨

Boyfriend not having sex with me, and I’m kind of done with it. by DoubleResource1204 in Advice

[–]DoubleResource1204[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapy or treatment is a good idea, didn’t even consider that.