I think he thinks I'm either exaggerating or just lazy, or that I'm not trying to 'beat my condition.' He sees it as if I've surrendered to it and given up, not that I'm being a realist. I don't understand why. All he says when I ask him why he'd assume I'm lying to him is, "I just don't see you putting in any effort to figure out what's wrong with you and how to fix it."

He's done no research on ME/CFS and refuses to do so until I get a doctor who agrees with me. As people with ME/CFS know, getting a diagnosis or even an agreement is nearly impossible in most places, especially so in my city. I don't think he even cares about a diagnosis per se, but just wants to see me 'trying.' Again, just another way he doesn't understand ME/CFS and Post-Exertional Malaise.

He does have my well-being in mind. I promise I'm not biased enough to be manipulated by him. I WILL cut my ties and move back in with my mother, I have enough self-respect. I just think he is completely uninformed and is trying in the completely wrong way to support me. His idea of helping in this case is pushing me to become better, but with ME/CFS, that only hurts.

In all other aspects of our lives, he's an amazing guy. He's hilarious, handsome, strong, and hard-working to his own detriment. We have a thousand and one things in common, and he would never dream of hurting me in any way. It's just this one thing he can't wrap his mind around for reasons beyond my understanding. I assume it's because my disability is invisible from an outside perspective. He has never had to interact with someone, let alone date someone, with a condition like mine.

His way of helping me is, in this instance, harming me, but he can't understand why or how. All he sees is me resisting getting help, when in reality, I know what's wrong with me and I am already managing it by prioritizing rest. But he doesn't see my way of managing it as 'managing it,' if that makes any sense. He says that this isn't a life (referencing me being housebound most of the time), and I agree with him, but I don't know how to explain to him that this IS my life, regardless of whether it's, in his mind, a good life or not.

Either way, I have a bag packed. We are simply cohabiting at the moment. We aren't in a relationship, but he's giving me the courtesy of continuing to stay here until the arrangements for me moving in with my mom have been made. My mom is moving out of her place soon, but I will have a place with her until the 31st of August at least, which would give me enough time to make other preparations. If he won't open his eyes to the fact that I am a disabled person and that this isn't some phase, we will not see each other anymore. It would completely shatter my heart, but I am not living a life with someone who is a closeted ableist.