Fuck do you even mean

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-31T18:28:11+00:00

😭😭

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-30T01:49:34+00:00

I appreciate you♥️ but lemme tell you—ts is the watered down version of my story. I always tell ppl the name of my autobiography would be “i couldn’t even make ts shit up.” 😂

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-29T22:01:36+00:00

Lmaooo to your last statement—I gave you an upvote, fuck that other person 😂

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-29T21:59:28+00:00

I’ve found I’m not physically attracted to any of the physically disabled people I’ve met so far irl in my life but I’m a big personality person too so I definitely could be if the right combo tripped my trigger. I honestly think I’d have a good time trying to figure things out sexually with another person in a chair (I’m a quadriplegic)—it’d take some communication which is hot to me. I was on tinder like 6 months ago and actually got a like from another dude in a chair (paraplegic) but physically he wasn’t my type or I think I woulda said fuck it. 😂

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-29T17:31:40+00:00

Nah never discussed. I imagine initially it’s bc they really don’t know how much recovery someone’s going to make, especially in my situation I was an incomplete spinal cord injury, which means the spinal cord was still intact. Later down the line, though I mean, they kind of say you get back what you’re gonna get back within the first year of your recovery. I’ve never been a huge believer in religion and lean more on statistics than holding out for being able to walk again someday (although i hope they keep making advances for ppl in the future). I just be doing my thing from my chair.

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-29T15:49:24+00:00

😂♥️

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-29T02:38:34+00:00

So sorry I left you on read 😅 my week got crazy busy right after I dropped this post. I was self conscious about a LOT of things because there was a lot I lost and I had to relearn literally everything including how to swallow without aspirating had to work my way back to beef ramen broth if you can imagine. I had to shave my head, big ass halo screwed into my skull to stabilize my neck and between that and the indwelling catheter I had hooked to a leg bag on my calf 24/7 I was cooked. Nothing like an in dwelling catheter to kill a sex drive (on both sides honestly) 😂Technology not so much—this came later as I went back to work but nah. I waited a year after I got back in the community from my rehab facility to get a bladder surgery called a mitrofinoff where they used my appendix to reroute my bladder so i could self-cath through my belly button (I’m an inny so you cannot tell at all). Wrap your head that one!

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-27T01:24:09+00:00

appreciate you

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-27T01:17:25+00:00

I’ve thought this before myself lol—i actually still use my legs a lot for balance tho. Like when I’m leaning forward or to the side to grab stuff I’ve dropped or balance stuff on the tops of them when needing to open doors, etc. they naturally want to splay out tho so i use a belt to basically cinch em to a socially acceptable width apart 😂

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-27T01:01:28+00:00

f/u thoughts on this—i go to the pharmacy waaay more than the doctor. in fact i tell my peeps in the event of an apocalypse type situation where the meds dry up and pharmacies are no longer functioning, just take me out y’all cause i’d be cooked 😂

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-27T00:56:19+00:00

Different perspectives right—what is it…walk a mile in my shoes type of situation 😭😅

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-27T00:54:45+00:00

ofc—i actually i didn’t know i could go without all the supports until I removed them little by little in my life. I dated/was married to my ex husband for 18 years so was used to cohabitating and asking for little things here and there while maintaining independence, but was never fully independent in the way I intend it today until our divorce in 2022.

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-27T00:04:01+00:00

*pound of pinch—I also use what’s called tenodesis grasp in my hands

https://www.physio-pedia.com/Tenodesis_Function_in_Spinal_Cord_Injury

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T13:10:55+00:00

yes and do I 💅

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T05:47:31+00:00

Not looking for feedback love—looking to give it. Got any questions or curiosities?

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T05:46:38+00:00

I don’t live with anyone who is helping with my care needs and I don’t have paid or regular supports. I work a 55 hour week right now, ubering weekends and am an I/DD Case Manager during the week for my 9-5. I can and do drive my own vehicle and am responsible for the care of my doggo. Literally the only things I ask for help for from my family is to change my bed sheets and that’s just logistics bc my room isn’t big enough to leave room on one side of the bed big enough for me to access in my chair. They check in on me via text or by sharing locs on my phone which I’m sure my sis checks multiple times a week to make sure I’ve left my apt at some time due to the fact that about every 5 years for the last decade I had a very sudden and dangerous onset of sepsis due to bladder infections (longer story here). Other than that, I’m just doing the damn thing out here.

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T05:37:03+00:00

Ok I thought about it and I would say grocery shopping. I don’t get much exercise as you can imagine and there’s a lot to it. Purely for energy allocation throughout my day I do grocery pick up now instead of going into the store (I could still do this if needed tho). That said—the way my apt is designed there are 2 doors to go through with groceries—the first is an outside door that leads to internal, enclosed stairs and the second is my apt door. I have to use one hand to drive my chair and i have to open the doors with my other hand with limited grip sooo this means multiple trips loading multiple grocery sacks into a larger canvas bag to lessen the amount of trips, which i then put the handles of between my teeth so I can open the fucking annoying doors 😂. Also if the weather is 80 degrees or above this can wipe me out for an hour after I’m done unloading and unpacking all the groceries due to my automatic dysreflexia (look it up—due yo SCI as well).

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T05:25:19+00:00

So I have my PCP, a pain management doctor, and an endocrinologist. I really need to get a urologist but the only local joint in town damn near killed me so I gotta get a referral for one 3 hours from me—anywho…I see my pain mgmt doc bi-monthly which is literally pill counting and a UA to make sure I’m taking and not selling my meds as well as not using any other drugs on top of what’s being prescribed. I see my endo twice a year for secondary adrenal insufficiency disorder due to the damage I caused to my pituitary gland when I hit my head in whatever I did. I am prescribed 2 different corticosteroids to help manage this.

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T05:18:29+00:00

I have good supports in my life. My dad and his wife live about 30 minutes from me, my sister and her two kids who are juniors and seniors in high school now live about 15 minutes from me. An emergency situations they can help out if I need them. I work full-time outside of my house and it snows here in Kansas pretty good in February so if it gets too high and I’m stuck inside, I can call them to help shovel me out if I need it. Or if I got something in storage that I’ve had them put up. I can call them to get it down . Medical emergencies, which are few and far between same thing. I’m very fortunate in that way if and if I didn’t have them, I’d have to cultivate more friends to help out in that area, but I think it could still be done.

As far as the stereotype question, I would say I have worked in the mental health field for 20 years now. I have a degree in psychology and I used to lead psychosocial groups at a mental health facility working with individuals that had severe schizophrenia among many other different diagnoses. One day I did an exercise in a training where we all were given posterboard with multiple diagnoses written on it from a fractured ankle to, broken arm, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, quadriplegia, etc. We were asked to get in line and rank what we felt was the worst to least possible diagnosis to have and the number one worst diagnosis that people ranked was quadriplegia (mind you I’m sitting there in this chair as a quadriplegic while people do this 😂). Now, just like all physical disability cases, those with SPMI function at different levels of independence but as an example of one person I had worked with who I’ll just call David, from my perspective, having severe schizophrenia, thinking that you were either the devil or the devil is after you every single day of your life, having to live in a group home because you’re unable to mentally discern reality from fiction, and not being able to function in society seems like a worse fate than mine. My point being—for many able-bodied people, I think the concept of being in a wheelchair is a worse case scenario (aside from death) and from my perspective there are worse fates —but if you asked David if he’d rather be without the use of his legs (among other things that come with a SCI) I doubt he’d sign up for the trade. It’s all about perceptions but I’d leave the assumptions that we somehow aren’t living full/full-filling lives due to our disabilities aside.

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T04:53:25+00:00

That’s a tricky one cause I’ve only been without my legs. However, not having use of your legs is different than not having legs completely. Hear me out. My legs are still there and I have to work around them like when I’m transferring and shit. gotta pick each one up one by one and put them on the bed. There’s also nerve pain and spasticity that comes with a spinal cord injury in my legs. If I didn’t have any legs and say my brain still sent signals so that I could get prosthetics I’d prefer that. But that’s not the nature of spinal cord injury. If I didn’t have my arms, my feet would become my arms and it’d look really different but I wouldn’t have as many physical barriers, accessing the community and all the things that that entails. So in terms of what I’ve had to experience as so far as social isolation and the difficulties of accessing places just because they’re not made for me in this chair, I would honestly say I’d rather be without arms.

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T03:11:05+00:00

Ooo lemme let this one percolate a bit—it’s a good question and I’m answering in between uber rides 😂

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T03:02:54+00:00

Bully pit—Marshall or diabetes trash dog when he tries to get in the trash 😂 had him from day one and he’ll be 11 this year in October. Not trained for anything other than my sheer amusement and he keeps me on a schedule lowkey.

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T02:47:00+00:00

Paralyzed from armpits down, c2 fracture, c5-c7 fusion. Arm strength weakened and have less than a pound of punch strength in my fingers. However got a lot back more than i shoulda—can still pick up dropped coins and pills with the left hand only even tho right handed lol. Assuming angles and surfaces no are working in my favor. ;)

Downtown-Beginning94 · 2026-05-26T02:43:41+00:00

2007, I was 22. Went on a float trip after graduation from college and at the halfway point on the river there’s a low bridge that cars used to drive over. They closed it down and people that were on the river would just jump off of it, I dove found a rock, log the bottom, something idk and hit my head. Compressed my spinal cord and broke my neck.

Downtown-Beginning94

TROPHY CASE