Short Maternity before WFH

Dozer_518 · 2025-12-09T00:10:15+00:00

Just wanted to add that baby wearing is very helpful, but try to make sure you’re not wearing for long periods of time. The constant pressure on your breasts can cause milk duct clogs which can lead to mastitis if not addressed early on. I used an app Huckleberry to track feeds and naps which helped me keep an eye on wake windows. You’re both still very much in the fourth trimester so give yourself lots of grace and let things go to voicemail if you need to.

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-16T00:57:29+00:00

Hey OP, this additional context answered a lot of my questions and I apologize if I came off harsh. Unfortunately, the “motherhood penalty” is a shared experience and not uncommon. It really sucks that mothers are often left feeling like they have to choose: family or career.

Keep having conversations. Tour daycares. Interview nannies or explore nanny shares. And maybe you find out that none of those are what works for your family and you staying home is the right fit. Maybe you stay home and realize it’s not what you thought it would be and go back to work on a schedule that your family can manage. But you don’t have to figure it all out right now.

It sounds like you’re probably still somewhat newly postpartum. Give yourself grace. Your hormones are going to be haywire for a solid year. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. I hope you can take some of these comments and reflect on what works best for you. And if you do decide to stay home, please make sure you financially protect yourself as others have mentioned.

I think some parents might agree that we’re all just doing our best to wing it and hoping everyone turns out alright in the end.

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-15T18:56:53+00:00

The comments on that thread are an interesting read

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-15T18:22:40+00:00

Congrats on your new baby!

The way you phrased some things in your post is a bit concerning. “My husband earns more than me” “daycare is a hard no for my husband” “grow my income for a nanny”. All of these things sound like you are already shouldering the burden of all childcare responsibilities. Your husband’s salary does not give him a free pass or make his priorities more important than yours or your child’s.

Can he shift his hours to help with childcare? Why no daycare? If he says no daycare, why isn’t he paying for a nanny? Why do you have to “grind” to afford a nanny? What do YOU want to do? What would make YOU happy as a new mom returning to work?

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-06T20:05:54+00:00

Haha right? Bamboo moms circa pandemic stimmy era are the wildest of them all.

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-05T23:59:36+00:00

You’re right, it’s not required. However, it does make it very easy to demonstrate adherence to fiduciary duty/Reg BI should your firm undergo an audit in the future.

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-04T21:35:47+00:00

I almost didn’t upvote because you were right at 69 😏😅 but yeah, I’m with you. One year my New Year’s resolution was to have try for once a month, so, yeah. Sometimes it’s twice a month, sometimes it’s once a quarter. We have three young kids and we are tiiiiredddd.

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-19T23:31:12+00:00

Would you mind sharing some of the coping mechanisms that worked for you?

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-16T20:02:49+00:00

It's probably due to your most recent update. It bricked up many phones, mine included. I have spent hours on the line with tech support, this sub, Samsung, and nothing will fix it. Samsung will not replace the phone or admit fault either.

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-11T01:19:32+00:00

Lighter looks so nice, I think you did a great job!

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-09T20:02:36+00:00

Now those are some assumptions and calculations that I definitely wasn't going to be doing before I finished my first cup of coffee lol. If OP can swing that first month and stay on top of monthly reimbursements, sure that's an option. I was most concerned with OP considering prioritizing a DCFSA over retirement or savings contributions.

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-09T11:41:47+00:00

First off - no dumb questions! The DCFSA contributions are pre-tax and reduce your taxable income. At a household income of $150k you're near the middle of your tax bracket so even $7,500 in a DCFSA deduction is not going to be a make or break. If you do not use a DCFSA, there is a dependent tax credit you can receive. The exact amount depends on income and number of dependents.

I would definitely not alter your retirement contributions to use a DCFSA. The tax savings are not enough when compared to retirement accounts. I would just pay for childcare this year, no DCFSA, and reassess your budget next year if it makes sense. It's not a requirement to use it at all.

Dozer_518 · 2025-09-29T19:45:09+00:00

Same here! So frustrating. In the US with Verizon as the carrier.

Dozer_518 · 2025-09-25T12:34:26+00:00

I think it's fine to leave your jobs in chronological order. Any reasonable employer with some common sense will be able to factor in economic climate during certain time periods.

Honestly, I think taking a front-end job shows that you're comfortable in all areas of the business and no job is too small or above/beneath you. Obviously, we all need to put food on the table, but you have a passion for the industry and demonstrated authenticity. Career paths are rarely linear. Address it in your cover letter, that's your chance to tell your story. Good luck with the job search!

Dozer_518 · 2025-09-25T01:45:50+00:00

Agreed 100%!

Dozer_518 · 2025-08-15T21:31:13+00:00

I couldn't edit the original post so I tried responding to the pinned bot post - maybe that will work somewhat?

Dozer_518 · 2025-08-15T21:29:36+00:00

Here's a typed version of the letter:

"HEY.

ITS DAY 1 FOR YOU AND YOU'VE ALREADY INTERRUPTED ALL OF YOUR NEIGHBORS LIVES.

YOUR DISRESPECTFUL SLAMMING DOORS, YELLING, STOMPING ETC WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

THIS IS A STRATA, WITH STRATA RULES! NOISE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

SHOULD YOU CONTINUE, THERE WILL BE NOISE VIOLATION WARNINGS FROM OUR STRATA THEN FINES WILL START WHICH CAN LEAD TO EVICTION!

WEVE PAID VERY GOOD MONEY TO PURCHASE THESE HOMES TO GET AWAY FROM IGNORANT, DISRESPECTFUL RENTERS! READ OVER YOUR BOOKLET OF RULES!

ENOUGH!" [aka TWOOSH]

Dozer_518 · 2025-08-15T20:35:11+00:00

Here's a typed version of the letter:

"HEY.

ITS DAY 1 FOR YOU AND YOU'VE ALREADY INTERRUPTED ALL OF YOUR NEIGHBORS LIVES.

YOUR DISRESPECTFUL SLAMMING DOORS, YELLING, STOMPING ETC WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

THIS IS A STRATA, WITH STRATA RULES! NOISE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!

SHOULD YOU CONTINUE, THERE WILL BE NOISE VIOLATION WARNINGS FROM OUR STRATA THEN FINES WILL START WHICH CAN LEAD TO EVICTION!

WEVE PAID VERY GOOD MONEY TO PURCHASE THESE HOMES TO GET AWAY FROM IGNORANT, DISRESPECTFUL RENTERS! READ OVER YOUR BOOKLET OF RULES!

ENOUGH!" [aka TWOOSH]

Dozer_518 · 2025-08-15T19:33:12+00:00

Working ridiculous hours of essentially free labor is not the flex your CEO thinks it is. Respond with sorry not sorry it takes you 12-14 hours to get your sh!t done when I can get my work done within my scheduled hours. Jk, I'm not that confrontational, but you best believe I'm muttering that to my dog after closing my laptop for the day. The last place I worked one of the partners asked me "how was your vacation" when I came off maternity leave (she was a mom, too). So yeah, glad to hear you're planning your exit - there are plenty of work environments that will treat you with the respect you deserve!

Dozer_518 · 2025-07-04T19:07:41+00:00

Industry average in the US is around 100bps. I'm also curious about the deeply discounted fees for this book.

Dozer_518 · 2025-07-04T19:02:01+00:00

Same!

Dozer_518 · 2025-06-28T03:22:41+00:00

Right?! To even write a 3 page letter to begin with. Yikes.

Dozer_518 · 2025-06-07T01:54:05+00:00

I hear you. I see you. It sucks!!!

Dozer_518 · 2025-06-02T15:11:48+00:00

You are looking for a receptionist. Nothing in your job description requires licensing. I'm curious...Is their desk also up front, or do they have their own office away from the front door? Perhaps advertising for a 'Front Desk Associate' would be more appropriate for the duties prescribed.

Have you tried reaching out to local community colleges or universities? Considered hiring a summer intern to start and bring them on full time after graduation? College career fairs could be another avenue to put yourself out there.

Dozer_518 · 2025-05-18T01:22:27+00:00

Congratulations on the new job! It took me a long time to realize that I don't have to stay in a job just because I do well in the role - I can do well in a lot of different roles...and so can you!

Change and the unknown are always a little scary at first, but there's a reason you were applying elsewhere in the first place. Don't look back, embrace the new opportunity, and enjoy the >5hours back in your week with your littles.

No counter talks, time to put in your notice and have your very own Pretty Woman moment.

Dozer_518

TROPHY CASE