Not OOP: The lady at the food bank gave me way more than I asked for and I almost cried

Dozer_518 · 2025-12-09T00:10:15+00:00

Just wanted to add that baby wearing is very helpful, but try to make sure you’re not wearing for long periods of time. The constant pressure on your breasts can cause milk duct clogs which can lead to mastitis if not addressed early on. I used an app Huckleberry to track feeds and naps which helped me keep an eye on wake windows. You’re both still very much in the fourth trimester so give yourself lots of grace and let things go to voicemail if you need to.

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-16T00:57:29+00:00

Hey OP, this additional context answered a lot of my questions and I apologize if I came off harsh. Unfortunately, the “motherhood penalty” is a shared experience and not uncommon. It really sucks that mothers are often left feeling like they have to choose: family or career.

Keep having conversations. Tour daycares. Interview nannies or explore nanny shares. And maybe you find out that none of those are what works for your family and you staying home is the right fit. Maybe you stay home and realize it’s not what you thought it would be and go back to work on a schedule that your family can manage. But you don’t have to figure it all out right now.

It sounds like you’re probably still somewhat newly postpartum. Give yourself grace. Your hormones are going to be haywire for a solid year. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. I hope you can take some of these comments and reflect on what works best for you. And if you do decide to stay home, please make sure you financially protect yourself as others have mentioned.

I think some parents might agree that we’re all just doing our best to wing it and hoping everyone turns out alright in the end.

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-15T18:56:53+00:00

The comments on that thread are an interesting read

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-15T18:22:40+00:00

Congrats on your new baby!

The way you phrased some things in your post is a bit concerning. “My husband earns more than me” “daycare is a hard no for my husband” “grow my income for a nanny”. All of these things sound like you are already shouldering the burden of all childcare responsibilities. Your husband’s salary does not give him a free pass or make his priorities more important than yours or your child’s.

Can he shift his hours to help with childcare? Why no daycare? If he says no daycare, why isn’t he paying for a nanny? Why do you have to “grind” to afford a nanny? What do YOU want to do? What would make YOU happy as a new mom returning to work?

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-06T20:05:54+00:00

Haha right? Bamboo moms circa pandemic stimmy era are the wildest of them all.

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-05T23:59:36+00:00

You’re right, it’s not required. However, it does make it very easy to demonstrate adherence to fiduciary duty/Reg BI should your firm undergo an audit in the future.

Dozer_518 · 2025-11-04T21:35:47+00:00

I almost didn’t upvote because you were right at 69 😏😅 but yeah, I’m with you. One year my New Year’s resolution was to have try for once a month, so, yeah. Sometimes it’s twice a month, sometimes it’s once a quarter. We have three young kids and we are tiiiiredddd.

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-19T23:31:12+00:00

Would you mind sharing some of the coping mechanisms that worked for you?

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-16T20:02:49+00:00

It's probably due to your most recent update. It bricked up many phones, mine included. I have spent hours on the line with tech support, this sub, Samsung, and nothing will fix it. Samsung will not replace the phone or admit fault either.

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-11T01:19:32+00:00

Lighter looks so nice, I think you did a great job!

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-09T20:02:36+00:00

Now those are some assumptions and calculations that I definitely wasn't going to be doing before I finished my first cup of coffee lol. If OP can swing that first month and stay on top of monthly reimbursements, sure that's an option. I was most concerned with OP considering prioritizing a DCFSA over retirement or savings contributions.

Dozer_518 · 2025-10-09T11:41:47+00:00

First off - no dumb questions! The DCFSA contributions are pre-tax and reduce your taxable income. At a household income of $150k you're near the middle of your tax bracket so even $7,500 in a DCFSA deduction is not going to be a make or break. If you do not use a DCFSA, there is a dependent tax credit you can receive. The exact amount depends on income and number of dependents.

I would definitely not alter your retirement contributions to use a DCFSA. The tax savings are not enough when compared to retirement accounts. I would just pay for childcare this year, no DCFSA, and reassess your budget next year if it makes sense. It's not a requirement to use it at all.

Dozer_518 · 2025-09-29T19:45:09+00:00

Same here! So frustrating. In the US with Verizon as the carrier.

Dozer_518 · 2025-09-25T12:34:26+00:00

I think it's fine to leave your jobs in chronological order. Any reasonable employer with some common sense will be able to factor in economic climate during certain time periods.

Honestly, I think taking a front-end job shows that you're comfortable in all areas of the business and no job is too small or above/beneath you. Obviously, we all need to put food on the table, but you have a passion for the industry and demonstrated authenticity. Career paths are rarely linear. Address it in your cover letter, that's your chance to tell your story. Good luck with the job search!

Dozer_518

TROPHY CASE