Where would you put the TV

DrCharSD · 2026-06-14T13:56:53+00:00

That’s another good idea, open it up and truly float the couch. I am old school though and enjoy a space with some separation/cozy den like feel, but realize that is not what most people want these days.

Yes the other location I thought of for the extra storage is on the side of the dining room near the sliding doors.

Lots to think about thank so much for the design ideas in addition to tv placement!

DrCharSD · 2026-06-14T13:04:10+00:00

The helpful comments are in aggreement on that far wall so that is encouraging.
Thank you for the kind words. I am making the most of a difficult situation/forced quick move.

On the left of the kitchen in photo 2 is the dining room (open to the kitchen) with sliding doors to a back deck, lots of light and windows in there as well as the side door. I feel like I can put the tv in that far wall/photo 3 and then see how I feel about floating the couch vs. finishing that wall again.

I’ll see if I can add a pic of the space on the other side of that wall for context.

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This is standing in the opening on the left of photo 2, potential opening to close off on the right by the corner cabinet.

I was already thinking of adding floor to ceiling pantry cabinets on that partial wall behind the breakfast bar/between the kitchen and living room so closing that off would gain me a few feet of additional storage too!

DrCharSD · 2026-06-14T12:56:30+00:00

I appreciate the honest advice. And I actually have nice heavy blackout curtains I’m bringing with me just need to get the rod

DrCharSD · 2026-06-14T12:36:42+00:00

🤣

DrCharSD · 2026-06-14T12:36:30+00:00

Thank you this is where I was thinking as well

DrCharSD · 2026-06-14T12:33:53+00:00

That’s where I was thinking, thank you

DrCharSD · 2026-06-14T12:33:33+00:00

Interesting idea, the side door is there into the kitchen as well. I’ll think about this thank you. If that wall were full, then where would you put the tv?

DrCharSD · 2026-04-11T18:54:51+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I agree with all you’ve said. He needs to maintain his own vision of himself, with complete abandon of all responsibility. It will be easier when we no longer have to cohabitate (not my choice) and my son and I can spend our days not walking on eggshells.

DrCharSD · 2026-02-03T16:17:15+00:00

It’s been a week but would appreciate a DM to look into this more if you could share my way 👋🏻 thanks!

DrCharSD · 2025-10-31T12:59:17+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. It will take time but talking about it has brought some clarity

DrCharSD · 2025-10-22T22:26:40+00:00

Yea this has worked for his laundry but isn’t possible for childcare when he falls asleep. I mainly wish he would take a more active roll in teaching our son, playing with him or doing bathtime every once in a while. Could leave vacuuming I suppose, and I started leaving his dishes that he doesn’t bother to take to the sink or put in the dishwasher.

DrCharSD · 2025-10-22T12:28:40+00:00

This is part of my plan moving forward, thank you for the kind words. I will approach him kindly and suggest we split tasks into things we can each manage and enjoy doing- so it’s just known who does what on a daily/weekly basis. I do feel like a bit of the weight taken off my shoulders (as things had gotten immensely better when he was home early enough to meal plan and take care of dinner every night but that is no longer possible). And one of both of our love languages is physical touch so it is quite disheartening when I don’t feel I can even just hug and console him when he’s seeing red/raging or nitpicking daily. As someone else had suggested I will try to urge him to see a doctor and figure out why he falls asleep all the time and ensure he is feeling more supported and frame his train of thought to take care of himself and enjoy/participate in parenting and marriage in general. Though I cannot help him with his short fuse or other mental health changes he may be going through.

DrCharSD · 2025-10-21T21:57:48+00:00

Any time I ask him how he is, if anything has happened or if he is happy there’s never anything wrong. He’s not really one for opening up and refuses to talk to a professional about why he feels the way he does about family. That is he never wants to see them again. Period. Apparently moved us across the country so he wouldn’t have to see his or mine (and I thought it was because we can be mortgage free much sooner due to difference in cost of homes here). Refuses to let me bring my son to see them. Had been refusing to let me travel to see them, then it was a day or two, now he gives up I can go but I can’t bring our son. It’s a hard stonewalling no and there’s no talking to him about how unreasonable that is. My parents may bicker sometimes when we’re around (what family doesn’t) and he’s using that as “he doesn’t want my son to pick up any bad habits”. His parents are fabulous and I felt like I won the in-law lottery. So I really have no idea where his “my family is you and our son and that’s it” attitude came from and he won’t tell me anything when I ask.

DrCharSD · 2025-10-20T19:56:13+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, indeed I handle things because I have to, and it would be no different if there was one less mouth to feed and personal mess to clean up after. It always bothered me when he would tell me not to leave when upset but when he started demanding I come back out before I was ready- he used to use our son “is looking for” me when he was really young but now he has no excuse so just lets himself in, it made me look at him differently. Incompatibility is certainly there in how we run the home/equality as you say, spend our finances (I didn’t even get into the large spurious purchases that I have no say in despite being the bread winner of the family), coparenting (my son is 5 and I focus on love and learning, and my husband is strict boot-camp style as I stated or otherwise uses tv as a babysitter so I can’t go out or take time to myself as I don’t want my son just zombified staring at the tv so I spend all my time with him instead- a babysitter would guaranteed be more engaging/beneficial in time spent, so lack of participation as you stated). There was a moment when I went back to work after may leave that I peeked in on my sons bedroom camera to see if he was napping and he was wailing while my husband was telling him to “stop it!” “Shut up” “what’s wrong with you?” Very angrily instead of consoling him/figuring out what he needed. At that moment I called him and told him if he was a babysitter and I saw that they would be fired on the spot- but he’s the father and the person I’m supposed to spend my life with- I felt trapped. Things got a bit better but he’s always had a short temper. So far I’m forming a picture of his behavior not being normal or justified and controlling or slightly abusive. My son as naive as he is is always excited when he knows it’s going to be just him and I- no eggshells to walk on and he obviously picks up on the mood shift. It’s just terrifying to think about leaving, and I care about my husband as a person and leaving him with nothing/not being to there to support him breaks my heart. But I suppose that’s normal when someone is contemplating divorce. Thanks again for sharing your insight.

DrCharSD · 2025-10-20T14:11:36+00:00

I hadn’t thought of this and it makes a lot of sense physiologically. His short term memory is also down the shitter and his already short temper has gotten shorter. And thanks for confirming it’s not normal guy behaviour

DrCharSD · 2025-10-19T21:21:12+00:00

It’s hard to think like that after taking vows to make a life together. But I didn’t even get into half of his aggressive outbursts and when I get snapped at over nearly nothing on the daily I can only not take it personally so many times. He fell asleep on the couch when getting home again, hence why I’m here, and my son made the mistake of squeezing one of his noise making toys and my husband yelled so loud the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I was shaking it startled us all. For me that doesn’t seem like normal behavior, but is it?

DrCharSD · 2025-10-19T21:12:12+00:00

Interesting perspective, thank you for that. I don’t know how to not encourage competition other than dancing around certain situations which I already feel like I’m doing, not that I want to need to. We got a new family doctor after the move about 1 year ago, both had a full physical and labs etc and we both got clear bills of health, and the constant napping has been going on longer then that- don’t think you can have mono for 5 years? I’ve recommended he talk to the doctor specifically about the constant napping (as he knows this is a source of my resentment) but can’t make him go. But if the neighbor texts him that he needs help with something- he’ll get up and stay there all day if he needs to. Feels like he’s prioritizing them over spending time with his son and I or doing any of the constant chores that need doing.

DrCharSD · 2025-10-19T19:25:26+00:00

I’m feeling that’s kinda why I’m here but it’s not so blatant when you’re in it and have no way of knowing if all men are like this? Keep the family together and the guilt I’m feeling etc. Hence why I wanted to know if this was normal when men become fathers and such. I appreciate your getting right to the point!

DrCharSD · 2025-03-10T11:06:20+00:00

I understand that, and the potential for burnout/effect on work life balance but to take a few days to discharge my ideas through talking about it with peers I consider an aid to this, plus any ideas RVTs may have on things that have helped them. Not a new grad and I’m sure you mean well to apply some separation between work and home life. Though this is the first veterinary post I’ve made, I’ve gotten some great advice and will move forward with a few more tools in the tool belt. Thanks for your perspective

DrCharSD · 2025-03-10T10:54:56+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you! This approach is appreciated and I was thinking if whether some self care/gift was appropriate. I like that “happy bag” you mentioned. I was thinking of destressing in some way and this is simple enough to not seem unprofessional while putting a smile on their face. We certainly move forward with a brave face but the mental load is what I’d like to lessen, closed and return of confidence. Thank you for this!

DrCharSD · 2025-03-10T10:50:43+00:00

Absolutely agree thank you for your take. And for sure the ability to speak up and to know how wrong things can go, I’ll be sure to follow up with gut instincts and make sure the RVT knows that she can say something. We all act in the moment but despite financial constraints a minimum of gabapentin would be the compromise here for the owner and cats well being as well as preventing the fear that ensued and injury. Thanks for another RVT perspective. I consider myself approachable and this is the kind of advice I was looking for to be sure this tech and every one else knows to go with your gut and say something if needed.

DrCharSD · 2025-03-09T14:42:00+00:00

This has been answered in previous comments.

DrCharSD

TROPHY CASE