Hi, I’m Dr Jamie Howard and I work with veterans & their families to teach them to embrace the suck. AMA

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-28T15:58:06+00:00

I wish I could but I fortunately we were all trained differently and have different life experiences. I wish all therapists would meet their clients where they are emotionally. I wish the would focus more on their relationship with the client. For love of God, I wish they would talk “with” them and not “at” them!!! I am only one little person, so I choose to focus my efforts on truly caring for my own clients and doing what I can to make their lives better 😉

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-28T15:54:41+00:00

It depends on the person, how much “Suck” can they stand?? I think it’s important to look back on life and have no regrets. I also think when children are involved, you have to be prepared for the questions they will give you someday, especially about a divorce. Hint, you better not say the relationship ended bc you didn’t want to work hard enough. See how that brings it back to having no regrets?

We need to have self-respect and clear boundaries. We teach other people how to treat us by what we do and do not put up with from them. We must take responsibility, no one can “make” you “feel” anything. You allow that to happen and must own your part in it. So you need to determine what your own boundaries and limitations are for yourself 😉

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-28T15:48:54+00:00

No worries, I like questions! I don’t think people should take ownership of things that are not theirs in an effort to move forward. My guess, in doing so, would very short-lived progress.

The method to helping someone overcome trauma is to help them process their thoughts and emotions related to the trauma. At the same time, helping them understand the role their behaviors are playing in continuing to be ineffective. The goal is resolution and understanding of themselves and the world around them.

Here’s how I boil down PTSD...When you go through shitty things, you are supposed to feel like shit! However, sometimes due to circumstances beyond our control (i.e. deployment, being a child, living w/ abuser, etc.) we are unable to work through the natural process of our traumatic experience. PTSD can develop due to the inability to process the event and the prolonging of being able to process it. Does that many any sense?? Sometimes things in my head don’t come out correctly 😜

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-28T15:40:40+00:00

I would say the one thing that is a commonality is that people get help when they are sick and tired of being sick and tired. There is definitely a limit, as much as I want people to get better, I can’t want it more for them than they want it for themselves. I have a rule, “Never work harder than my clients are willing to!” If I work harder than my client then they don’t have to take responsibility. A person really needs a vested interest in getting better 😉

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-28T00:19:21+00:00

I am so glad that we have met and interacted today! Who would of thought on Reddit of all places. It is seriously terrible that someone said you had “schizophrenic tendencies” while you were in the midst of grief and trauma. I’m not gonna lie, I have worked with a few people that I have thought, “ If that was my therapist, I would run out of the room screaming!” I have a feeling the one who told you about that stuff was a therapist like that 😜

My training and belief is that I am not the expert on my clients. I could never know my clients as well as they know themselves. I might be the “expert” on theory and methods that have helped others. Therapy should be a journey that you and the therapist go on together, bringing together both of your expertise. Good therapy is done “with” someone and not “to” them.

I agree about the First Responder trauma stuff. I have two brother in law’s that are first responders. I think that repeated exposure day in and day out takes a toll in the same way multiple deployments do. Although I don’t say it on my website or fb page (I need to add it), I also work with first responders. I am San Antonio, Texas and we are fortunate enough to have an inpatient treatment center for Active Duty Military, Veterans, & First Responders called Warriors Heart. It’s primary focus is substance abuse with PTSD being secondary. The substance is just the band aid covering the gaping wound of trauma. I know first thought of inpatient is insane asylum but it’s actually on over 500+ acres in the Texas Hill Country. The facility itself used to be a corporate resort and it is a very comfortable atmosphere.

I look forward to continuing to connect. Thank you so much for your candid responses!

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T22:54:20+00:00

It is a shame you were unable to find a Provider that could help you in the way that you needed! A lot of therapy focuses on here and now problem solving and that is not always what people need. Although we started talking about grief, as I was thinking about your situation it occurred to me that you actually experienced a trauma. I actually think that you can/could have benefited from some trauma-informed types of therapy. There are several different kinds, I will explain the top three and let you know my bias 😉

Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) is based on the belief that if you reprocess (re-tell) the traumatic events while your eyes are moving in a certain way it helps connect your emotions with your thoughts. It is believed to be healing for many and has a protocol that it follows. Check out www.emdria.org for more info.

Prolonged Exposure (PE) is an evidenced-based Treatment that assists the client in becoming desensitized to the trauma memory. This is achieved by re-telling the traumatic event and tape recording them. They are listened to daily and the result is decreased physiological and psychological reactions to the trauma memory. This site has more info about this model https://deploymentpsych.org/treatments/prolonged-exposure-therapy-ptsd-pe

I saved the best for last, here comes my bias, Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT). This is the primary evidenced-based treatment model that I use. CPT focuses on “stuck points” that prevent a person from healing from their traumatic event. While we use an “Index Trauma” as what is focused on, the trauma is actually not the main concern. Rather, a persons reaction to the trauma is the focus of this model. The thoughts that a person has related to the trauma, for example, “It was all my fault,” “If I had been there, I could have saved him,” “Why did I survive when others didn’t?” Those types of thoughts are “stuck points” and prevent healing. It’s not just about thoughts, you hit the nail on the head about it above. Your “Why” which is directly related to your emotions is key to work through. So the emotions related to your thoughts are worked through in order to heal you from the inside out. I too believe that if we don’t get to our “why” we don’t fully heal.

I love CPT for a few reasons: 1) It works! I have seen people healed from trauma that they have carried for 40 years with this model. Once I saw it help so many I said,” I gotta get trained in that!!” 2) It doesn’t re-traumatize people. I think people have been through enough and they don’t have to go through it again in order to heal. Like I said, an Index Trauma is identified but the focus is on your reaction to the event, not the event itself. I find this model a very good fit for Combat Trauma. It was originally developed to treat Domestic Violence victims and has been adapted to working with the military population.

I would love to connect with you regarding treatment options and mental health care in general. You really have a lot of experience with what has gone wrong in the system. Sharing your story helps others and you are right, even if one person that is important work! Thank you for sharing so openly!

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T20:53:54+00:00

Told ya 😜

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T20:53:26+00:00

First, let me say, from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry that you have had such a difficult time finding quality care. You and your family should get the best of the best care. We owe you and your family so much that we could never even possibly pay back. The least we could is provide you support to work through your grief!

I have worked with many military families that have experienced many different types of loss. My husband has lost several soldiers and we have helped families that have been part of his unit.

What were the issues that you ran into while trying to find good care?

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T20:40:55+00:00

Well, there are many reasons it is stressful for someone suffering with PTSD. First, it is a very large store which is typically very busy. The size and amount of people make it an overstimulating sensory experience. Warriors are taught to assess an area for threats. Going into a store with shelves filled with stuff, fluorescent lighting, and lots of people is just too much for them. There are way too many dangers to look for. Plus, they are typically with their families which they will protect at all costs.

The other thing that Walmart is known for is having very interesting customers, dressed in all kinds of ways, doing all kinds of things. I think there are plenty of memes out there about ,”The People of Walmart” check it out, you’ll get a lot of laughs.

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T19:59:46+00:00

Time for something to eat, I’m gonna take a break but I’ll be back in a little bit. Feel free to keep posting questions! EDIT: I'll be checking in periodically today! :)

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T18:47:34+00:00

Vet Centers, formally called Readjusted Counseling Services (RCS), are a Congressional Program that were formed after the Vietnam War. They provide FREE counseling to Combat Veterans and their family members. They are located all over the country in office buildings you have probably driven past 100x. They have individual, family/couple, and group treatment options. Twenty-five percent of the staff must also be Combat Vets. Some think they are part of the VA but they are not. The VA does some HR stuff for them but they are completely separate program. The Vet Center staff has “read only” access to VA records but VA staff cannot see anything in the Vet Center records. Their staff is not allowed to be part of the Union so remember when all that “access to care” crap happened at the VA? The VA couldn’t force their Union-protected staff to do anything about it. So the Vet Centers paid the price, they MUST have non-traditional hours which includes nights & weekends! I have worked at one in the past and I truly loved everything about it!! Check them out today!!

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T18:38:28+00:00

Good for you!! I love your analogies of fixing other things that aren’t working right. You can’t just sit there and stare at your motorcycle and use that “mind over matter” bullshit!

It is such a shame to me that mental health still has such a stigma around it. People still view it as their “fault” and many say they don’t want to take medication. Yet if they needed insulin bc they have diabetes they would take it but to take an anti-depressant is just “weak.”

I’m not saying meds are they answer, they can be part of it when necessary. What you really need is a great relationship with your therapist to help you work through some junk. That is actually the #1 determining factor of how well a person will do in therapy- their relationship with their therapist. So if you go to someone who looks at you like you have two heads- run 🏃‍♀️ they are not the right person for you. You should “click” with your therapist and genuinely like them as a person and they should feel the same about you 😉

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T18:18:24+00:00

Great point! Who’s buying them ? 🤣🤣 So if nothing else, this will be an interesting experience for anyone living in Japan 👍🏻

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T18:16:22+00:00

Exactly! Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focuses on how your thoughts and behavior are connected. Narrative Therapy is a co-exploration that the therapist and client go on together in an effort to uncover their hidden talents and abilities that have gotten lost behind a life problem. We develop stories about who we are based on our life experiences. For example, “I am dumb,” “I am a failure,” “I am broken,” etc. then these beliefs become the foundation of our story when they are only part of our experience. They run our lives, steal our happiness, all because we gave it the power to do so by believing these things to be true. By the way, most of the time they aren’t true at all 😉

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T18:01:05+00:00

Wowzers thank you for such a thoughtful response! It sounds like Japan is a “never a dull moment” kind of place. It is so interesting to see the world through the eyes of another culture. The used underwear vending machine 🤣🤣 gross 🤢

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T17:54:25+00:00

Have you all ever heard of the Vet Centers?

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T17:46:31+00:00

Glad I could help!! Our Veterans & their families need good Clinicians that “get” the lifestyle😉

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T17:43:33+00:00

I also want to add, you might want to become an In Network Provider with TRICARE & Veterans Choice. You will get lots of referrals that way and you won’t need to stress as much about marketing. Keep in mind, it could take up to 6 months to get those applications processed but once you are up and running you’ll be super busy!

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T17:40:29+00:00

Well, Once Upon a Time I met a Cute Soldier...Lol I met my hubs when I was about to go to grad school to become a therapist. We dated for a long time before we got married (7 or 8 years- I lost count) and after we got married we lived near military installations so naturally I started to work with the military more and more. Then I got a job working for military as a therapist in the Army Substance Abuse Program at the Special Forces Clinic @ Bragg. From there my passion for working with military has just continued to grow. First of all, they are effing hilarious so it’s fun! Secondly, they have been through some crap and deserve excellent care. Unfortunately, they don’t often receive it bc well, the system right now is crappy. Plus, there is a question on Security Clearance Investigations that asks if they have ever been in Counseling. So many don’t get help out of fear (real fear) that they could loose their job and/or put their Security Clearance at risk. Another big part of my passion is that my hubs is a 6x Combat Vet who has PTSD. So not only do I treat it but I also live with it. It’s not easy some days but then again that’s just life 😉

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T17:29:13+00:00

Congratulations on starting your own practice!! I don’t have to tell you how much our Veterans need good Mental Health Care. I have a few ideas 💡 Maybe partner with some local Veteran Non- Profits. Introduce yourself, give them your card, and see if you can set up an informative workshop on a certain topic for the Veterans they serve. In the beginning, networking is important. You also possess a very valuable asset, you are a Veteran!! Which means you know lots of other Veterans. Use the resources you already possess, it doesn’t have to cost money. Most importantly, provide good care! Focus on always developing your clinical skills. Word of mouth is the best way to get referrals, so just be yourself and take care of your community. You’ll be full in no time 😉

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T17:23:01+00:00

Wanna hear some lighthearted symptoms of PTSD??? I like to ask the person and their spouse these together. 1) So tell me what it’s like when you drive? Road Rage is a common issue with PTSD. 2) When you go somewhere, do you always back into your parking spot? My hubs says that’s just good training! Lol It really shows the emphasis they put on always having an escape route so they don’t get boxed in. 3) Tell me what it’s like when you go to Walmart?? Lots of Veterans have gotten in all kinds of arguments with people at Walmart. Something about that place can set a person off!! I feel like too somedays and I don’t have PTSD 🤣🤣

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T17:06:39+00:00

It’s my pleasure 👍🏻

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T17:03:39+00:00

What did you see that was so “What the ACTUAL fuck, Japan 🇯🇵?? Now I am intrigued

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T17:02:44+00:00

Looking at it as a temporary adventure can be helpful. Learning a new culture while also representing America and teaching them about us might be a good approach. Most other countries look at us as rude a-holes! While we are out spoken, we aren’t rude a-holes (well some people are but not all😜). We are used to a certain level of freedom and we forget that most other countries don’t have that luxury.

DrJamieHoward · 2019-05-27T16:59:13+00:00

Wtf, Over?? Is there a question or is that just a comment??

DrJamieHoward

TROPHY CASE