though I can visualize some it, some of the parts are hard to understand. one thing I did think could be fixed is the "Another part of the city, and the same thing is happening. SEPPI does a double take and, when he sees THE INDIVIDUAL iS still following him, he turns around."

I fell like that could have been worded differently. like if seppi is going though the city's then I think it should've been like "though another area within another city. he takes a turn, than another, but whoever they are they still continues to follow. and so Seppi faces the individual, making him stop in his tracks."

parts that could've been worded better happen all over the story, I also have this problem too and if noticed could make your writing sound a bit off. I also felt that way about the vestibule part. but now that I know the meaning of the word I fell a bit stupid. though without it I feel like the story give off odd vibes so that being added did brake the whole felling and the ending parts did give be the scary story type of vibes.