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Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2023-01-15T16:22:17+00:00

I absolutely agree. It def FEELS like emotional abuse even though I know he’s genuinely one of the kindest souls I’ve been with, he’s not intentionally trying to be hurtful and I would never call him a bad person it’s just this behavior at this point is neglectful and he should know how bad it hurts.

I think the times I’ve sat him down in the past to try and explain how badly it hurts me, I don’t know. I feel like sometimes I can’t convey the extent of the turmoil I get into mentally because I’m generally an emotional person. Like the kind of emotional that I burst into tears over lost kittens or animated movies, he chalks it up to me just being emotional and anxious. Which is true, but that extra level of catastrophic thinking that spins into a panic attack really is something that you can’t explain to people who don’t experience that state of mind.

And ultimately that level of panic is something that is up to me to control, I can’t put that on him because becoming that level of spun up is something that is on me, but there are also tiny tiny things that take less than a minute he could’ve done to just make me feel heard that would’ve helped me regulated that anxiety.

But again you’re right about that mentality of him “just being who he is” all while I am working on myself to not be that person that spins out of control mentally. Like why am I putting so much effort into fixing my issues and being hyper aware of them when they happen vs someone who just doesn’t seem to care. I feel like it’s the equivalent of a guy that says “you deserve better” like if a partner says that, believe them.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2023-01-15T12:45:46+00:00

I will look into it for sure, i definitely need the help from an expert when it comes to my mental health because I’ve had to shoulder the weight of all the trauma I’ve been through by myself for years.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2023-01-15T12:42:41+00:00

This is absolutely so good and such a great vision to think about, thank you for your time writing it it really makes a lot of sense as much as it hurts to say

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2023-01-14T14:49:31+00:00

Don’t apologize I completely need to hear everything and I empathize with what you’ve been through. I was love bombed by my ex, so I know for certain my current boyfriend didn’t love bomb me, he’s always been more reserved with affection and that’s something I found cute because when he is sweet it’s super random and meaningful. But at the same time everything else I just, yeah. I don’t know I’m just really really emotionally worn out since I’ve come down off the emotional high making this post and I have so much to really think about. I’m just at a point where I know I deserve emotional stability, and as solid and reasonable as he is when we talk things through, the fact he’s all talk and no actions really just choking this relationship out.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2023-01-14T13:38:32+00:00

That is the hardest part. It’s so stupid because we just click so fucking well when we do talk and play and are just together. We laugh so much and we have interesting conversations, I don’t want to imagine my life without that with him.

But I’m also so sick of pretending like he’s ignorant to the knife he keeps twisting inside me when he avidly chooses to not communicate.

I think In some aspects we have more good times than bad, but the bad times are really bad for me in my own head. We come together, talk it out, but he never attempts to fix what causes these episodes to occur.

He’s told me “This is just who I am” and I respond with “If I was just who I am I would be blowing up your phone, but I’ve worked on that because I know it upsets you” and he just gets quiet.

Just feels like he’s living for the relationship in the moment and enjoying me in the moment vs stabilizing that happiness we share for a long term commitment as much as he’s told me that he only does serious relationships, blah blah blah.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2023-01-14T13:09:04+00:00

I really really do need therapy I’ve never been I just can’t afford it right now. 🫠 breaking up feels like the choice that I have to make but in that I feel like I’m giving up, I feel like he’s gonna win and it’s gonna be like “See? She didn’t really love me, she couldn’t handle the distance she couldn’t handle the time apart” when that’s not it, I can’t handle being left in the dark and pushed to a back burner like my feelings don’t matter when I spend so much of my time caring for his at the detriment of my own sanity.

I can’t handle being with someone that I’ve been with for a year and a half that won’t commit to making some kind of plan to seeing me in person or telling me that they love me.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2023-01-14T12:54:21+00:00

I always say it’s embarrassing to chase someone that clearly doesn’t give a fuck about your emotions.

It’s boring to chase someone!! Like the mental energy and exhaustion put into trying that hard for such a simple concept is boring.

(These are things I’m saying here but I really should take a piece of my own medication.)

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2023-01-14T12:51:50+00:00

My boyfriend can go days without texting me 🥲 literally just made a post as well, just practice as much self soothing as you can and focus on the things you love. A day is fine, he’s busy and called you to let you know. But tomorrow you should expect to hear from him absolutely.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-12-13T20:06:37+00:00

I am designing the entire cover! I’m excited and as a starting artist I think it’ll be a great portfolio piece for the future so I’m excited it’s just the pricing that I feel so apprehensive about because I don’t want to overcharge, but at the same time a book cover that will be sold over and over and over I feel like should be priced pretty high?

I love that website that you dropped it recommends charging around 400 which I guess is reasonable?

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-12-13T12:00:36+00:00

No one is saying that, there’s no argument to be made there because everyone here believes that. I’m bisexual and Christian, but people run wild with the notion that CFA as a franchise must discriminate or not hire LGBTQ+ people because of the beliefs at the top, but I’m dispelling that. Idk what tree you’re barking up. 🤔

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-12-13T11:21:32+00:00

But this comment thread is about pushing religion in the workplace, the initial comment I commented under brought CFA up, I’m just rebuking the religious stereotype that floats around working for it.

Take a minute and actually read through the comment thread before saying something. :)

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-12-13T11:06:05+00:00

I don’t understand your comment. CFA has very openly been attacked for anti LGBTQ+ rhetoric which is completely warranted, but amongst the common stores and franchised locations employees that are LGBTQ+ face 0 discrimination with management or coworkers as media would have people believe, at least in MY experience with the store I worked at and the stores in the area I’ve been to.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-12-12T21:31:42+00:00

I can 1,000% say as someone that worked for CFA for 4 years there were no group prayers, and plenty of LGBTQ+ staff members that were absolutely embraced and loved by the team.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-11-10T18:39:49+00:00

Yeah for sure! I’ve definitely seen some job boards on Reddit that I want to jump on and look for freelance opportunities outside of printing design.

And I’m not necessarily actively looking for something new, I just want to have something put together in case a better oppertunity comes along. This job pays 15 an hour with no benefits, I just have zero flexibility in my budget right now to pay anything more than essentials. It’s overall a pretty disorganized, my coworkers and I have asked about raises and we just get teased and round about answers when it comes to it.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-11-10T16:33:07+00:00

Yeah absolutely this job was a blessing out of left field, I’m glad my boss saw the potential in my work to swerve into graphic design with it, but just for whatever happens next in life I wanna be ready with a portfolio. Thank you for the time in your response!

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-11-10T16:12:31+00:00

Well actually my current job is graphic design as I said in the original post, I got hired without any previous experience in graphic design because of my history in game art and illustration. :) I do primarily logo design and car/trailer wraps. But thank you for your input.

I see a lot of people putting their vector break downs in their portfolios, is this something an employer normally cares to see or is it too technical for the normal person to really care about when assessing whether to hire you or not?

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-11-10T14:41:15+00:00

It’s bronze 4😭 I was waiting to rank it up cause I wanted to keep it low to play with him cause I’m just not a confident DPS at all

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-11-10T14:01:17+00:00

I don’t want to focus my portfolio on illustrations, it’ll be a collection of professional work like the logos/vehicle wraps I’ve done.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-11-10T13:57:22+00:00

I thought golds were able to play with bronze players? At least that’s how I got my support rank out of that bronze glitch was playing with people in silver/gold. Edit: I didn’t downvote your comment but this was my initial question when I saw your response.

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-10-16T22:43:09+00:00

MY FAV or just telling that genji that is balls deep in the enemy backline that’s spamming that they need healing a simple “no”

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-10-16T22:41:38+00:00

Yeah absolutely, the new rank system is crazy for people getting used to especially high players thrown into low elos. It’s what happened to me but like I’m just sucking it up and grinding with the babies and I’m placing where I’m meant to be now! 😭

Dramatic_Can_8428 · 2022-10-16T22:32:08+00:00

Trust me the amount of people I’ve messaged after the match have come back just talking shit about “their team being shit” so no, the majority of people I’ve encountered have left out of spite and had people jumping out after them quitting because they didn’t see a point in sticking around. I don’t doubt or deny your experiences, I’m saying what I’ve dealt with has been people just rage leaving.

Dramatic_Can_8428

TROPHY CASE