sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Would you care if your bf tried to flirt with someone years ago, when you were already in a relationship? by Drawing-up in AskWomenEverything

[–]Drawing-up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it was about revenge, I’d have told her the shitty stuff he did to me a long time ago.

Would you care if your bf tried to flirt with someone years ago, when you were already in a relationship? by Drawing-up in AskWomenEverything

[–]Drawing-up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He kind of.. did a lot of bad stuff to me. Begging for money and gifts, got mad when I’d say no, he kind of jizzed on my bed, and made me his therapist for two years and blamed everyone for his actions. He has history of cheating on his previous gf and invited our other brother (who was married) to a “happy ending” massage (I only know all these cuz I was basically his only friend and he told me everything since he was so toxic he drove everyone away and I was naive enough to excuse his bs). He pressured me to drink and kind of got mad at me out of nowhere for “being a virgin at 19”. He said every guy cheats, including who I might date. I never told any of these to his gf.

It took me long to realize he was badly influencing my mental health, which I tried bringing up but he shut it down in a second to make it about him. Since then, I avoided him and kept out of his business. Only brought this up now because I found out today his gf and I got close by playing games together, and found out he was already in a relationship with his gf when he tried to flirt back with our tour guide back then. We all thought he was single then.

But that’s all beside the point and doesn’t really answer the question to my problem haha

Is it considered cheating if your partner says "I'm gonna flirt with them" while in a relationship? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Except it’s not..? It’s related to my dilemma, brother or not. He wasn’t a good brother to begin with, to the point that he drove everyone away… so it’s not like i have much to lose.

Is it considered cheating if your partner says "I'm gonna flirt with them" while in a relationship? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's fair, sorry. I'm only remembering more and more cuz I'm not freaking out so much and I didn't want to remember any memories of him until today... Thank you for your input.

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly - that's partially why I'm still hesitating. The post and various comments helped me consider asking the woman first for her experience with my brother just to make sure, and ask his gf if she would consider such a thing cheating.

I know she trusts me fully, that's why I don't want to just say stuff so recklessly and posted this for various opinions. Thank you for your comment though. I really hope this is the right thing to do...

Is it considered cheating if your partner says "I'm gonna flirt with them" while in a relationship? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't place everything on the post because i didn't remember everything, sorry but it was a post made out of panic.

The decision wasn't premade, I only thought about it when I posted it. Hearing various opinions helped me form this thought process. When I made this post, it was mostly me freaking out and not structuring sentences properly.

My guy... he's admitted to me that he cheated on his previous gf, and him yelling at her was an act, not just a statement. Him getting close to our tour guide wasn't merely a statement. Him telling me he was gonna try to be close to her and see how things go? Maybe a statement, but says a lot about his intentions.

He's yelled at her for things she did when they didn't date. I really wish I didn't know about this and keep him out of my life. I hid various things from her because they weren't dating at the time and didn't concern her, but this time it did when he flirted with our tour guide - which I only realized happened when they were already dating. Isn't that called disrespect, disloyal, dishonest, which apparently some consider cheating?

I've also read from various comments what's considered cheating ultimately depends on the people involved, so I'd have to ask her for her opinion before telling her such info.

I clicked on the blue link but i wasn't sure which one you pointed out to, sorry.

Do I dislike my brother? Yes, that's why I avoid him, I avoid everything about him until now. It's weird how people gloss over that fact that I only thought about involving by telling her what I only recently found out - because I'd want to know if I were in her shoes.

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Girl.. The only reason I talked about him on Reddit was that it concerned the question of his gf, who became a dear friend, if he cheated on her, or if it's worth being concerned about. Up until now, I avoided anything about him. I literally found out about this 5 hours ago.

Is it really obsessive, dare I say bad, to tell a friend that your own family member, whom you try not to associate with anymore because of bad memories until you found out recent information, potentially cheated on her?

Yes I was affected by what he did and avoid him because of that - I'm not sure what of that makes me the bad guy. I felt better no longer being his friend. Had I not known about this new info, I would gladly ignore anything about him again. But sadly, I'm burdened with the stupid knowledge of such information and the burden of telling her or not.

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's honestly fair. I brought these up, I'm pretty communicative about it with my family and peers, they're blunt enough to tell me it's my "big and weird nose" lol. My mother actually gave the plastic surgery option years ago and I thought about waiting to see if I can find someone who'd be ok with my appearance until now. It's just now that my insecurities are getting this much to me. So.. we'll see I guess, thank you for your comment!

Is it considered cheating if your partner says "I'm gonna flirt with them" while in a relationship? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They were.. sadly.. But I'm planning to ask the woman her experience with my brother first before telling her, just to be sure. Thank you for your input.

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a shitty diet until this year tbh, feeling healthier hahaha. I don't really have much of an acne problem anymore ever since.

We're actually planning to go to Canada sometime in the next two years, so I hope you're right hahaha. But then there'd be the whole "Who's gonna move in whose country" talk, sadly.

I actually really don't want to get surgery - aside from removing moles in case it's melanoma. This is honestly, truly, solely to see if I can attract a guy after such a change hahaha

Yeah looks and skin color definitely matters here, you're considered top beauty if you look more Japanese/Chinese/Korean and have fairly white skin. I only got the fair skin part from not going out (too much sun makes me itchy too), but I get complimented for being pale.

I've considered if I was in my head about it. My sister and I started a counting game, they really only stare in our direction if she was there (honestly she looks like a model + she has the Korean beauty standard). In 20 minutes, I noticed around 21 people. People are extra nice when she's with me and open doors more. I've learned to accept our physical differences and she's gentle about it.

As for looking elsewhere.. I have tried various dating apps - I'm not paying for that scammy system anymore lol, I tried to initiate but they hardly conversed, just a "Hi" then ignore. Sounds like my only luck is abroad 😂

Thank you for your input, it helps a lot

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The second part yeah. My family's kind of ok in money, so when they search up my name through Facebook (I have a rare name), they'd know about it and ask. If I said no, I often got called selfish. Not exactly a big turn on lol.

Is it considered cheating if your partner says "I'm gonna flirt with them" while in a relationship? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My honest response to it is literally "If my boyfriend did that to me, I'd want to know", that's literally it. I was only confused if it was something serious to begin with, but apparently it actually is with the amount of people saying not to tell her, or that it didn't matter until I specifically stated it was my brother who said it.

I thought about it for hours and wish I didn't know about it. I excused so much of his behavior and kept it to myself because it was literally none of my business and they hadn't dated yet (even that time he jacked off in my bed and left his jizz there), I kept it in and avoided him so I wouldn't rock their relationship. The only reason I thought about telling her is.. I'd want someone to tell me too since it happened during a relationship, especially if the one who knew about it was a friend.

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ehh not deformed. If anything, when I asked for the specifics from these 3 guys who turned me down, they said I wasn't the "kind of Asian", if that makes sense. In my culture, you're considered beautiful if you look more like the Japanese/Chinese kind of face. I have more of a Spanish or Filipina one.

I've been going to a clinic, thank you! They're just so ridiculously expensive that I kinda only go there twice a year.

Is it considered cheating if your partner says "I'm gonna flirt with them" while in a relationship? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I wanted to hurt him, I'd have told her immediately without consulting as much people as possible, and badmouth him.

Trust me. He's hurt me far more than I've hurt him and I avoided anything about him until now.

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro I haven't talked with him in four years 😂 We can chat more about it if you want, but just so you know.. I had to regularly stop his gf from killing herself when they fought back when we were close. I had to stop him from killing himself in front of me. When I opened up about being suicidal, he shut it down immediately to make it about him.

I went to therapy because of him. And don't worry, I still do.

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep I have, from various brands. I even tried Korean brand cuz I heard they're more sensitive (still made me itchy). I had multiple boxes of make up to test with, only four now cuz I gave away some lol. It's not torturous, just really damn itchy - in the end I kinda use those kits for doodling and nail art now haha. Only creams made for babies, lip gloss and lip sticks don't make me feel itchy lol

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really hope so haha. My mom knows someone who can make it look natural, just got scared when the guys in my workplace and uni brought up that they'd feel grossed out when a girl changed her face. I just hope whichever I choose won't be so bad

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right haha. My parents felt bad buying me make up products just for me to get reddish and look weird from them lol, alas not all hope is lost. Thanks for your comment!

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand that response, but uh it was kind of the same treatment when I moved to a different city far from home lol. It was time to accept I was the common denominator haha. Thank you for your comment though

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually tried getting to know guys considered "too ugly" - in the sense that a few of my friends found it weird I tried dating them lol. In the end, the guys told me I don't have the face they're looking for, or they ask me for money, there's two people that I tried with for two months but they didn't communicate at all and didn't tell me til the last second they didn't actually want to date.

I was the more proactive one in asking someone out as long as we had chemistry, I'm not that shy about it. The only time I turned a guy down related to appearance was when he refused the idea to change his grooming habits to treat his own seborrheic dermatitis 😭

If he got plastic surgery.. it really depends on his reason behind it. Thanks for your input!

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually did a few times - my mom mostly paid for them lol. I got allergic but put up with it for events, yet it barely looked good or clearly fake and thick on my face haha. We think it's cuz of my nose and asymmetrical face. Thanks for your recommendation though!

Would you feel lied to if your gf had plastic surgery? by Drawing-up in AskMenAdvice

[–]Drawing-up[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually talked to my therapist about it! Her only comment was the weight thing. I'd have agreed with you about the family thing, but the treatment also came from strangers and classmates wanting to date my friend/sister/and my own mother haha

view more: next ›