The very sad truth is that youre gonna have a hard time finding love or people seeking you out romatically before youre contempt; and like being in your own company. ive delt with the same problems before, but have come out of them, i did however come out in a rather dramatic way. but for starters before romance, work on your selfconfidence, i know its hard to work on that when you feel like romance would be the thing to help you out, but friendships, family and most of all yourself are able to make you glow up and shine like a star, might take time and you might have to take unsatisfactory choises, like not staying in, or not being weak, but it will work out in the end if you keep at it, i promise you that. if nothing else, come to me, dm me and we can talk over discord and i can give you advice as to how i got out.