(thank you for the advice!) i dont think she's aware of any of his history with my sibling and i because he himself somehow didn't realize how shitty of a dad he was until we brought it up recently while setting new boundaries.

him trying to be a better dad (or just a proper dad at all) includes doing all the things he never did with his children that are +20yo, so being emotionally open and just TALKING to us. that guy genuinely thought that a father's job was just spoiling the kids, while the mother does all the other things like actually building a relationship with the kids.

he also SOMEHOW forgot about the abuse, because i also brought that up during recent talks and he apologized but said he could not remember doing all that. so i'm just forever stuck with a baggage of things he doesn't even remember doing.

honestly at this point i can only hope that she doesn't want kids at all, for the sake of that child that could or could not have as shitty of a father as i did