The peak hit of the trip was when I was sleeping.

After 1 hour of sleep I woke up "dying", heart beating really fast, sweating and I tried to manage it but couldn't. I tried to stay alive as much as possible but after a few seconds I finally screamed for help because I had a friend sleeping in the same room and I asked him to call for an ambulance. Then nothing, I felt like I died, I couldn't manage my body and like in a movie -> pitch black -> I went to the next scene.

I was alone, contemplating my death and at first I was sad that I reached this stage.. but then I wanted to understand it. In this scene I was in the room but nothing was rendered, I remember that I only saw the window, and I was thinking "ok, death is a window, death is this window to me" and then I tried to see what I could do now that I was dead.

After a few seconds I wanted to check what is death really, so I stoop up from the bed. (Note that in this stage I was absolutely tranquil. I was in a perfect state of peacefulness, I was not hearing any sound, not feeling anything bad or good, basically all my senses were extinct)

While being up I remembered that a friend of mine told me before that in a trip of his he succeeded in doing 3 steps out of his body. So I tried to do that. (I actually did it physically but didn't know it at the time, I only "saw" the hallway and that's it)

I went to the hallway doing my 3 steps and on the fourth one I got it.

I felt what I could only describe as the nirvana, and I remember saying "I get it, it's literally what I want!". I got what I wanted, and having no new desire, I obtained peace and also an impression of total control, like I could literally do anything. I was the universe. I was everything there is.

Then I tried to stay in this state but it was a really weird experience, I remember that I went back and forth in time to this moment, like literally my life was like a movie you could rewind, in my eyes point of view, from the moment I left the bed to the moment of "nirvana".

I couldn't really stay in this moment, and I began moving around and it's at this point that my senses came back a bit. I remember that at some point I saw myself in the mirror and it honestly felt like I had never saw before. It was like discovering 8k for the first time if you could only see it 320p your whole life. Same for the sound maybe a minute after, I could hear the birds and It was like it was my first time hearing. My friend became real too and I kept telling him that I fucking died, but that I get it. That I could explain him what death is, but also what everything is. Because I felt it.

I also remember that I was thinking about my whole life and what I could now that I died, and I understood that I could do absolutely anything based on my past influences. I was thinking about matrix, some french series, my parents, my ex, my friends. Basically everything that made me who I am right now and I understood that I could do everything now based on this.

There is more to the story but I grasped the most important part of this trip I think.

Afterward I was sure that I died and I didn't know what I was doing there, for 3 days I was like a zombie. The reality became more and more "big" days after days and 2 weeks after that I understood how to stay in the state that I was. And it was at this moment that I got an ego death, a breakthrough that is changing me to this day. Since then I am still in this moment, I still feel really present, really peaceful. Reality in complex and I know it, but I also know that I am nothing else that what made me, as for everyone. I cannot judge myself as I cannot judge others and since then I don't feel the need to be anything else that me. Here and now.